ostavil | breakout

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loki

breakout

( Bucky actually hasn't had his own mind in decades and now he does. It's a secret - a huge one - but he can think for himself. The words aren't gone so if anyone knows he's not just a blank slate waiting to be commanded, he'd be completely wiped and put on ice again, but if he's careful no one will notice. He's quiet and taciturn as the soldier and he's quiet and taciturn as Bucky.

He owes it to an unlikely source. It's Loki, of all people, and from what he understands, Loki had just tried to take over the entire world and then gone in with HYDRA to see if he could still get control and cause mayhem that way. In spite of all that, Loki had chosen to bring him along when he left and Bucky still isn't really sure why. Loki hasn't made that explicitly clear. Bucky's not naïve enough to think a mischief god has done this out of the goodwill of his own heart but it's a better option than staying where he's used and abused so going with him is no question. Where they're going is a bigger problem. )

You know that they know how to track me, right? Did you think this through?

( His whole life has been nothing but rigid commands and structure between the Army and being the Soldier and he doesn't know what to do with someone who simply broke him out of the hell he's been living in without informing him of what the plan is. Bucky knows how to hide and stay off the radar because his work as the Winter Soldier had been more or less covert but he also knows that HYDRA had provided for him in those instances and given the directions as part of his orders. They'd find him very quickly if he went to any of those safe houses. He knows how to survive on the street, too, but Loki doesn't carry himself like someone who is used to being on the street or wants to be on the street. He carries himself like, well, a god, and he's going to be noticed. )

Is there a plan?

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I would ask what I want to hear but I'm afraid you'll actually have an answer for that when I don't even have an answer for it.

( It's easier to think about Loki driving a car than Loki figuring out what makes him tick inside and then getting leverage over him. )

You ever wanna learn? I mean not now, I'm driving now, but later? We're gonna have a lot of time and nothing to do.

[ his lips curve into a smile. ]

Perhaps there is hope for you, James.

And later, when we are not pressed for time and distance.

Hope. That's funny. I don't think anyone's been putting me and hope in sentences since the 1940s. Come on, let's get out of here.

( Bucky is a careful driver because he knows he's a fugitive even if Loki has changed their appearances; while he wants to think Loki has a plan for them getting stopped, he doesn't want to have to invite trouble.

Roads in Europe are different than American ones but since he's had plenty of experience on both kinds, it doesn't take him long to adjust to the roads just being a little narrower than he's used to. The more they get out of the city, the quieter the roads get and they pass fewer and fewer cars. It doesn't take him long to find what he's looking for once he gets out of the touristy areas and while these cabins won't be cozy like a ski lodge, they'll be isolated because they're for hunters. He finds one that isn't occupied and chooses it because it's deeper back than the others. )

New home, new us. Let's hope there's wood already chopped or we're gonna be freezing until I get it done. Too much to hope there's utilities turned on.

[ interesting how a word like hope would unbalance him so. loki had only meant to tease. hope is not something he barters with or considers to hold a lot of sway. it can be a useful tool like anything else. but it seemed to unnerve james completely. he files it away for now.

the mention of freezing makes him frown, gaze askance. ]

I'm sure we'll manage. Are you worried?

About freezing? Yeah, I'd like to spend my new free life alive. I know I can handle the cold, I've been a popsicle for HYDRA for a while now, but it doesn't mean I don't like to be comfortable.

( Bucky squints his eyes at Loki, giving him a quick look-over. )

You got something in your bag of tricks to keep me warm? Because I'm listening. I don't mind doing the labor for a fire but if there's an easier way, I'll take it.

[ his lips curls derisively at the mention of tricks, but for once he doesn't lose his temper. not yet anyway. ]

We'll still need wood, but yes. I have something in my "bag of tricks". You need not fret. It would be a poor end to a partnership to let you freeze.

( Bucky laughs softly. He imagines Loki can just light it on fire by magic or something so he looks around for a hatchet and finds one but there's no wood in the woodpile. )

Force that door open and I'll get wood. I'm pretty fast so I won't take that long.

( Chopping wood is probably the least strenuous thing his body is capable of these days. )

[ loki huffs. ]

Brute force is not something I enjoy.

[ all the door needs is a little telekinetic energy and voila, the door opens with a creak. ]

I will tidy the place up.

( Bucky thinks it's amusing as hell that the idea of brute forcing something is distasteful to Loki but he goes to see about the firewood situation before worrying about anything else. There's plenty of good trees around and it doesn't take him long to chop new wood; he doesn't know how magical fire works so he gets enough to last a few days before he comes back inside, skin a little flushed from the cold. He has the firewood in his arms. )

Let me get this into the fireplace and we can see about warming up. Then we can take assessment of the rest of this place and finally get some rest. Don't know about you but I need it.

( Bucky puts the kindling into the fireplace and steps back, gesturing at Loki. )

All right, your turn. Magic it up.

[ the cabin is all but transformed. it looks warmly lit, despite the lack of fire. all the dust and cobwebs are studiously swept away. loki has settled himself on a comfy couch, looking relaxed for once even if the furrow between the brows remains there. it'll be a while before it goes away.

with a wave of his hand, the fire is lit and he leans back, admiring the glow. for a brief, heartsick moment, he pretends he's back on asgard.

but the illusion fades. as always. ]

There. Satisfied?

( Bucky looks around and what Loki's done to the cabin isn't what he could have done with three solid days of work. There's an otherness to it that he thinks has to be magic and it feels cozy and lived in without being out of order. )

That's...impressive. I wish I could do things like that.

( Bucky sits beside him but keeps a bit of distance so they're not touching. He's comfortable but he's not that comfortable. )

Might have made my life a lot different if I had power like that. Might not have lost my mind to HYDRA.

[ loki shakes his head slowly. ]

Or they would have found you all that much sooner. And my impression of this planet tells me they do not care much for what is different and what is powerful. For what is power that you cannot control?

That's true. It would have just made me better at what I did. I didn't want to do any of it, though. I'm a good person. Well, I used to be. I sort of have to be less of a good person now because I want to be free and that requires a little bit of crime.

( Loki doesn't seem to care about that and honestly, that tracks. He's a trickster god by trade and if he didn't approve of some manner of crime it would be highly unusual. Besides, Bucky isn't stupid. He knows about New York. )

Good people die a lot faster than morally grey people.

[ loki huffs, waving a flippant hand. ]

Yes, yes, you all want to be good people and all that, deep down. It hurts to be bad, but you're alive. A real conundrum, certainly.

So you don't care about any of that, right? Being good, having a sense of heroism, wanting to be a good person? Doesn't line up with you saving me. I think you do want to be good even if it's only a little bit. Might be something you don't even know about yourself.

( Completely bad people don't go out of their way to rescue someone and then not bend them to their will and Loki hasn't done anything but keep him out of trouble. )

I think you have a conscience, Loki.

[ his eyes flash a sorcerous green as loki lets out a quiet hiss. ]

Do not ascribe your reductive morality at me. I do what I want. Nothing less, nothing more. Whether it fits a paradigm has little interest to me.

You don't gotta get defensive about it. It's okay to want stuff. Even if it's not selfish stuff. It's not like I'm gonna tell on you, Loki.

( Sure, it amuses him to poke the bear but he's also grateful to Loki and feels like he owes him a debt for getting his life back so there's some morality on his part even if Loki doesn't care about those things. )

It's all right if you want the company. Everyone needs someone else.

[ his expression flickers and he looks askance. if that were true, then there would be someone who needed him. without the manipulation, without engineering it. just needing him as himself without having to bend himself into shape.

no, he's done with all of that. either people take him as he is or he'll do with no one. ]

Hm. Do they?

Yeah. People aren't meant to be alone. I spent a lot of time locked up in my body and while I was doing things, horrible things, I still wasn't getting to interact in any meaningful way with anyone. Anything I remembered got wiped, over and over. I haven't gotten to talk to anyone but you in decades. I'm not ashamed to admit that it feels good to be able to do that.

( Bucky squints at him for a moment, trying to read his face. )

Do Asgardians not need anyone? Cause everyone needs to be social sometimes even if it's not a lot.

[ loki huffs. he deeply dislikes this topic. ]

Asgardians need people. We're used to having someone for hundreds of years. Life for you is a blink of an eye. A heartbeat. We must be used to sturdier ways of life.

But need is another thing altogether.

Like I said, it's okay to need someone. I would be recaptured by HYDRA already if you hadn't helped me but you did and we're safe for now. I repay loyalty with loyalty.

( Maybe it's not what Loki is looking for but it's what he has, at least, in Bucky. )

And hey, I don't age like humans do. They changed my DNA.

[ loki gives a throaty laugh. they make it sound so small. like needing air to breathe or water to drink. loki doesn't want that. he wants someone's lungs to burn when they cannot see him. he wants someone to feel parched when he's not around. ]

Are you offering yourself then, James?

I mean, if you wanna put it that way, sure. I don't have any friends either, Loki. I'd like to have one probably as much as you probably want one even if you don't admit that kind of thing.

( It's been a long time since he's had anything at all, honestly, and he wants to cling to what he's been given and not have it run away on him. )

I'll probably just annoy you into it anyway by existing until you get used to me.

[ dryly. ]

That seems to be the modus operandi for humans.

You really have no respect for humans, do you? Well, luckily for you, I'm nice and altered by super serum and I'm not quite human anymore. Maybe I'm not as old and well-preserved as you but I know about life.

( Bucky thinks he doesn't even know a pinky nail's worth of things that Loki knows but maybe it's better than most. )

Tell me something no one knows. I'll go first - I know how to braid hair. You know, the fancy way. Your turn.

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