breakout

[ostavil]

( Bucky actually hasn't had his own mind in decades and now he does. It's a secret - a huge one - but he can think for himself. The words aren't gone so if anyone knows he's not just a blank slate waiting to be commanded, he'd be completely wiped and put on ice again, but if he's careful no one will notice. He's quiet and taciturn as the soldier and he's quiet and taciturn as Bucky.

He owes it to an unlikely source. It's Loki, of all people, and from what he understands, Loki had just tried to take over the entire world and then gone in with HYDRA to see if he could still get control and cause mayhem that way. In spite of all that, Loki had chosen to bring him along when he left and Bucky still isn't really sure why. Loki hasn't made that explicitly clear. Bucky's not naïve enough to think a mischief god has done this out of the goodwill of his own heart but it's a better option than staying where he's used and abused so going with him is no question. Where they're going is a bigger problem. )

You know that they know how to track me, right? Did you think this through?

( His whole life has been nothing but rigid commands and structure between the Army and being the Soldier and he doesn't know what to do with someone who simply broke him out of the hell he's been living in without informing him of what the plan is. Bucky knows how to hide and stay off the radar because his work as the Winter Soldier had been more or less covert but he also knows that HYDRA had provided for him in those instances and given the directions as part of his orders. They'd find him very quickly if he went to any of those safe houses. He knows how to survive on the street, too, but Loki doesn't carry himself like someone who is used to being on the street or wants to be on the street. He carries himself like, well, a god, and he's going to be noticed. )

Is there a plan?

Comments

[dothelokimotion]

Is that so unbearable?

[ostavil]

No, it's not unbearable at all. It's just interesting. You don't need me for a bodyguard so you want me for something else and I wonder what that is, yeah?

[dothelokimotion]

I'll leave that for you to ponder then.

[ostavil]

So you leave that out there and don't tell me why? Why do you want me, Loki?

[dothelokimotion]

Now, now. There is no fun in "telling".

[ostavil]

So you're gonna make me guess why you want me? Was I right about you wanting a friend? Cause I want one. You're the first friend I've had in eighty years. Never had a god for a friend before.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki rolls his eyes. ]

Why would I want something as mundane as friendship?

[ostavil]

( Bucky lets that sit for a moment. He wants him but not as a friend. He doesn't need a bodyguard so he couldn't want one; besides, he's a god. )

You want me. You want...sex?

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki grimaces. ]

With how long you take, I'm starting to think otherwise.

[ostavil]

No, no. It's just...surprising. I've never had a guy make a pass at me before and I haven't been with anyone in decades. I don't even think of myself like that anymore.

( Bucky feels awkward now and rubs the back of his neck. He knows he's colored a little and he doesn't want Loki to see that he's been caught off-guard. )

[dothelokimotion]

It is a desire, not a demand.

[ he shuffles the pack, unconcerned. if he had directly made an offer and bucky had reacted poorly, loki would have probably lashed out and left. he doesn't take rejection well. this is fine and he can weather it.

and he is no longer a fool. or a child. ]

[ostavil]

I haven't been desired by anyone since 1945. I haven't been with a guy before but I'm still...I don't know. I'm not offended. I'm definitely flattered by it. Just kinda wondering what a god could see in me, you know? I'm just a guy from Brooklyn.

( Bucky meets Loki's eyes with his own. )

Did you want me from the moment you saw me or was it something other than physical?

[dothelokimotion]

[ in the driest voice. ]

You have the soul of a poet, James Barnes.

[ostavil]

( Bucky rolls his eyes in response to that. He's just trying to get his head around it, that's all, and Loki isn't helping him understand. )

Look, I'm not saying no. I just...like I said, I've never had a guy make a pass at me before and I've never been with a guy. Definitely never been with a god. I'm not fishing for a compliment I just wanna know what made you decide to bring me with you and what made you decide you wanted me.

[dothelokimotion]

[ his voice is clipped. ]

I'm not here to satisfy your self-worth issues. Go look in a mirror if you need help with that. I think we're done with this.

[ostavil]

( Bucky hadn't meant to offend him so he frowns a little in confusion. Maybe it's a bad idea but he reaches his hand out to try and touch Loki's. )

I told you, I'm not fishing. I'm trying to understand. If I'm gonna put myself out there, I need to know there's...I don't wanna screw it up. That's all. So I wanted to know what I was doing right and what got you attracted. I'm not fishing for a compliment.

If you wanna be with me, you're gonna have to talk to me.

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki freezes at the touch. his breath catches for a moment, overcome and he curses himself for it. ]

It's this, you fool. What else?

[ostavil]

( Fuck it. Someone is gonna have to make a move on this and it's clearly gonna have to be him because Loki is just gonna toss barbs. Bucky reaches his hands out and cups the other man's cheeks, thumbs rubbing over high cheekbones. )

Unless you say no and call me a fool again, I'm gonna kiss you.

[dothelokimotion]

[ his voice hitches and his eyes go wide. ]

Then get on with it.

[ostavil]

( Bucky's never kissed a guy before and he definitely hasn't kissed anyone since at least 1945 but he remembers how to kiss so he tilts his head to catch Loki's lips under his. His skin is soft under his hand and he wonders if that's because he's a god or if it's just because he's Loki. He guesses that's a question to ask later.

Right now, he's going to kiss, and he hopes like hell that Loki doesn't push him away. )

[dothelokimotion]

[ loki has kissed plenty of people. he's wanted it then too. sometimes, it is a game. sometimes, it is a joke because who would want loki? it's a joke they play on each other. someone is bound to laugh.

this is different. he's kept himself back from wanting as much as he could. earth and asgard has taught him sharp lessons and he can feel the sting of them even now. and yet, he can't stop. he won't stop. he lays his palms on the sides of bucky's neck, his thumb brushing against his jaw. ]

[ostavil]

( The feel of Loki's hands at his neck makes him sigh against his mouth and Bucky nips his lower lip lightly before pulling away just enough to look into his eyes. )

When this gets past kissing, I have no fucking idea what I'm doing, so you're gonna have to be patient.

[dothelokimotion]

. . . We do not need to rush things.

[ this is a better start than he could have hoped for. ]

[ostavil]

No, we don't...I just...I figured you needed to know.

( Instead of being awkward about it, Bucky just kisses him again and threads his right hand into Loki's hair, pleased to find that it's soft to the touch. )

[dothelokimotion]

[ oh, he likes that and a soft moan slips past his lips. he curls his arms around bucky in response. ]