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Entry tags:
breakout
( Bucky actually hasn't had his own mind in decades and now he does. It's a secret - a huge one - but he can think for himself. The words aren't gone so if anyone knows he's not just a blank slate waiting to be commanded, he'd be completely wiped and put on ice again, but if he's careful no one will notice. He's quiet and taciturn as the soldier and he's quiet and taciturn as Bucky.
He owes it to an unlikely source. It's Loki, of all people, and from what he understands, Loki had just tried to take over the entire world and then gone in with HYDRA to see if he could still get control and cause mayhem that way. In spite of all that, Loki had chosen to bring him along when he left and Bucky still isn't really sure why. Loki hasn't made that explicitly clear. Bucky's not naïve enough to think a mischief god has done this out of the goodwill of his own heart but it's a better option than staying where he's used and abused so going with him is no question. Where they're going is a bigger problem. )
You know that they know how to track me, right? Did you think this through?
( His whole life has been nothing but rigid commands and structure between the Army and being the Soldier and he doesn't know what to do with someone who simply broke him out of the hell he's been living in without informing him of what the plan is. Bucky knows how to hide and stay off the radar because his work as the Winter Soldier had been more or less covert but he also knows that HYDRA had provided for him in those instances and given the directions as part of his orders. They'd find him very quickly if he went to any of those safe houses. He knows how to survive on the street, too, but Loki doesn't carry himself like someone who is used to being on the street or wants to be on the street. He carries himself like, well, a god, and he's going to be noticed. )
Is there a plan?
He owes it to an unlikely source. It's Loki, of all people, and from what he understands, Loki had just tried to take over the entire world and then gone in with HYDRA to see if he could still get control and cause mayhem that way. In spite of all that, Loki had chosen to bring him along when he left and Bucky still isn't really sure why. Loki hasn't made that explicitly clear. Bucky's not naïve enough to think a mischief god has done this out of the goodwill of his own heart but it's a better option than staying where he's used and abused so going with him is no question. Where they're going is a bigger problem. )
You know that they know how to track me, right? Did you think this through?
( His whole life has been nothing but rigid commands and structure between the Army and being the Soldier and he doesn't know what to do with someone who simply broke him out of the hell he's been living in without informing him of what the plan is. Bucky knows how to hide and stay off the radar because his work as the Winter Soldier had been more or less covert but he also knows that HYDRA had provided for him in those instances and given the directions as part of his orders. They'd find him very quickly if he went to any of those safe houses. He knows how to survive on the street, too, but Loki doesn't carry himself like someone who is used to being on the street or wants to be on the street. He carries himself like, well, a god, and he's going to be noticed. )
Is there a plan?
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I'm not here to satisfy your self-worth issues. Go look in a mirror if you need help with that. I think we're done with this.
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I told you, I'm not fishing. I'm trying to understand. If I'm gonna put myself out there, I need to know there's...I don't wanna screw it up. That's all. So I wanted to know what I was doing right and what got you attracted. I'm not fishing for a compliment.
If you wanna be with me, you're gonna have to talk to me.
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It's this, you fool. What else?
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Unless you say no and call me a fool again, I'm gonna kiss you.
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Then get on with it.
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Right now, he's going to kiss, and he hopes like hell that Loki doesn't push him away. )
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this is different. he's kept himself back from wanting as much as he could. earth and asgard has taught him sharp lessons and he can feel the sting of them even now. and yet, he can't stop. he won't stop. he lays his palms on the sides of bucky's neck, his thumb brushing against his jaw. ]
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When this gets past kissing, I have no fucking idea what I'm doing, so you're gonna have to be patient.
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[ this is a better start than he could have hoped for. ]
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( Instead of being awkward about it, Bucky just kisses him again and threads his right hand into Loki's hair, pleased to find that it's soft to the touch. )
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He moves his lips from his mouth along the strong line of Loki's jaw and then kisses his neck. Loki's skin is smooth and soft and Bucky figures that's another one of those god things. )
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Do you want something more than just kissing?
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Are you ready for that?
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( Bucky isn't afraid of it, necessarily, it's more being afraid of doing something new and being intimate with someone after so fucking long. )
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I suppose that is one way of putting it.
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That was not my concern.
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( Yes, very romantic. )
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I'll manage my expectations.
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Is that what you want?
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