ostavil | 001 wakanda

001 wakanda

There's peace in Wakanda. Bucky had spent a little while under the ice while Shuri figured out a way to work on his deprogramming and while it's been a painful process, it's a necessary one and he's glad for all her work on the tangled knot that's HYDRA and the mess inside his brain. It's all wired incorrectly, a bomb that never went off but still needs to be defused, and he's scared every time she goes in there that something will go wrong and he'll attack her; it hasn't happened yet.

When he isn't working with her or Ayo, he has a little hut to himself where there are goats and sometimes children come visit him to see the curious white man who has taken up on the fringes of Wakandan society. Steve has visited a few times but when they announce a visitor this time, it's apparently not Steve. They're still at the palace being received, though, so Bucky takes the time to tidy up where he's been staying as much as he can one-handed; he's neat by nature but he also isn't used to having company come by either.

Who could it be? Sam? Sharon? Bucky isn't sure who would come to visit him aside from those two and Steve. Tony Stark certainly wouldn't and he isn't sure the Wakandan government would even let him in. Would Wanda come to see him? He's not certain. He imagines she's in hiding the same as he is, trying to avoid the Sokovia Accords and their inevitable consequences on her. It seems she's suffering more from them than anyone else, even himself, so he doesn't think she'd risk coming to see him.

He catalogs the other people he knows and he comes up with Natasha. He's got a strange history with her. He's shot her twice while the Winter Soldier but curiously, both times, he'd shot her non-fatally. It's almost as if he'd known that she needed to live even if he didn't know her and that's not what the Winter Soldier does. He doesn't leave loose ends. He kills whoever is necessary, even an innocent bystander, and Natasha has been actively opposing him both times he's encountered her. Even when he'd been activated by Zemo he'd attacked her but didn't take her down. There's something in him that protects her and he wonders why that is and always has. He doesn't know why she'd visit him but he wouldn't turn it down, either, so when he hears someone at the door he calls for them to come inside.

"Come in, I'm not busy." He's just finishing up wiping down a counter in what counts for his kitchen and when he comes into view of the visitor, he sees that it is Natasha. Curious.

"Hi."

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"I don't think I've ever cloudwatched with someone before," Bucky says. It doesn't take much motivation to get him to do it, though and while he doesn't fold his arm behind his head the way that he would if he had two arms, he rests comfortably next to Natasha all the same.

"Did you know that I love the sky at night? It's so clear here in Wakanda. I can see all the stars here because there's no light pollution. I think about asking for a telescope but I don't want to ask them for anything more when I already ask them for so much."

"Who knows, maybe letting the slow things like clouds set in will let your brain rest a bit, it feels like you've been pushing it a long time, at least from what you're talking about," She says glancing over at him laying next to her. It was familiar and she cant help but give him a soft smile.

"I could bring you a telescope the next time I come to visit, if you'd like that?"

"You don't gotta buy me a gift, Natalia," Bucky says and then wonders why he translates her name into Russian and doesn't use Natasha. Natalia is more formal, if anything, and he wonders why he does it. Maybe it's because she calls him James? He's not sure. There's weird little things he does with her that don't make sense but feel as natural as breathing.

"But if you'd like to bring me one, I would get a lot of enjoyment out of it. Cloud-watching is slowly becoming appealing too, though."

It's easier to talk when he's focusing on the shapes the clouds pile into and start identifying them in his head as cirrus, cumulus, stratus.

"I'm sure I could probably expense it or something, so I don't even know if you could consider that a proper gift," She explains going quite for a little bit before she points up at a cloud passing by.

"That one kind of looks like a lion doesn't it? With the big puffy mane, do they have Lions here? Or is it just like a panther thing?" She asks curiously, figuring it's a less hot topic that can hopefully help him relax a little bit more.

"There are lions but this is slightly on the edge of their range. Lions prefer savanna type habitats and Wakanda isn't exactly that. Plenty of panthers and other large cats here, though, and several species endemic to Wakanda alone due to genetic isolation."

He's doing it again, sounding like a textbook, and he wonders why the soldier makes him do that. Why would the soldier retain things like that? He keeps looking at the sky though because it's easier to talk than if he's looking directly at her.

"It feels good when you touch me and that's selfish of me to want it."

"Do you like it?" She asks curiously, that was as surprise to her. "You frowned when you brought up me doing it, I thought you didn't like it."

She explains, it almost makes her blush, how much she had misread that. She's a spy and confident in her ability to read people, but the version of him she knew was interfering with her ability to read him straight as the person he was now, and he'd made that mistake.

She untucks her hands from her arm so she can slide over closer to him and take his hand in hers giving it a squeeze.

"I don't think it's selfish."

"I was confused as to why you'd wanna touch me when there's a lot of other guys out there worth touching. It didn't mean I didn't like it," Bucky clarifies.

He likes that she's holding his hand and he doesn't let go of it. Instead, he squeezes hers back and keeps looking at the sky.

"Sometimes I frown when I'm thinking about something. It doesn't mean I'm upset. It's just...a thing my face does."

She squeezes it right back. It's reassuring, that he likes that. She's not sure what she would really do if he had actually hated it and not been overwhelmed so she just chuckles at that.

"The serious Soldat must never look like he enjoys anything or anyone..." she says off hand. She's not really sure why she keeps changing to Russian other then it seems to be jogging his memory and hopefully that can really help with it. She doesn't want to push anything too much, but allowing the water to slowly flow through the cracks seems like the right way.

She makes a point not to entertain the comment about the other men. It would just make things awkward to say the truth, that even if she didn't like him, she wasn't only allowed to touch people who she wanted to jump into bed with. It might just confuse him even more.

"Winter Soldier must be immune to pleas of mercy and unable to deviate from mission orders," Bucky says absently in return. He must have been told it a thousand times or more and it's stamped in his brain as much as those horrible words are. Even hearing those words in other languages is enough to make him go cold but Russian is the worst. Weirdly, though, speaking Russian with Natasha does not upset him. He squeezes her hand again.

"Machine more than man. Extension of the weapon he holds. Tactical, brilliant, unfeeling."

The words just keep coming and while he isn't...upset exactly he wonders why he's remembering them now of all times and places. Maybe Natasha just makes him feel more comfortable than anyone else. She certainly doesn't push at him as hard as other people do.

She squeezes his hand back in reassurance. It's okay to say those things, even if they make her stomach churn with nerves. It had been very clear how horrible hydra had been in the last few years. It had been different in the Red Room, like he was more human, it's no wonder he had such a hard time imagining any humanity at all for him.

"The Winter Soldier is the best trained operative we have ever seen, you can learn lots from studying him, girls." She says in a voice that sounds like she's doing an impression of an older woman.

"Wait. Hold on. I remember that."

It isn't the same voice because it's pitched like Natasha's impersonating someone and she's not saying it herself but the words make sense. Everything makes sense that someone said that about him and that he was in the room when it was said. The room is fuzzy, though, and he can't tell who was there other than, clearly, a bunch of women.

"Who would study me? They used to test poisons on me and things like that - loan me out to labs or to other countries to test chemical weapons but that didn't sound like this. This sounds like I was teaching something or demonstrating something. Where would I do that? Who would I even do it for? I was a solo operative."

She keeps a hold of his hand but moves to sit up so she can look at him. She bites the bottom of her lips. Was this as rhetorical question that he was trying to talk through himself or should she answer him. She decides to go for something that's in the middle cocking her head to the side a little bit as she looks at him.

"People who they wanted to become great assassins?" She offers in return. She knows that is the answer but she cants her voice a little bit at the end to still indicate the question in return.

"If you were the best they'd want others to learn from you."

"Yeah, I guess," Bucky says. "Maybe...God, I can't even think of anyone who would be sketchy enough to use the Winter Soldier except the Red Room but I don't know anything about the Red Room and this had to have been before you would even have been born. I was more stable before I got wiped so many times so I assume it would have been earlier along."

Still, he can't shake the feeling that he knows the people in that room, knows them well, just like he knew the woman in his dream. It's a lot to go through, these thoughts, and he doesn't know where up or down is to navigate himself.

"We'd have to get their records and I'm sure the Red Room isn't exactly on the internet in a document dump. I know a lot of HYDRA stuff got dumped after the Triskelion fell but...as far as I know, the Red Room would still be active and has always been separate. Do you even still know anywhere we'd start to even look?"

"I brought down the Red Room by killing Dreykov, it was part of the conditions of my defection to SHIELD, Clint and I did it..." she says thinking about it. She doesn't know yet that it didn't work, that the Red Room is working right now. Controlling girls right now using a program that her mother derived from the Winter Soldier program.

"When you're feeling up to it we can go to Russia and see what we can find, I'd go with you, if it's something you really want to know details about. If you don't want to remember, that's okay too."

She adds the last bit trying to add clarification to herself incase he ever asks her anything directly.

"I need my head straight first. I can't do anything with one arm and my thoughts all mixed up. I need to be in good physical condition again and capable of handling a fight if I need to. It's not something I could run off and do right now."

Bucky gives her a look that's more determined than anything else.

"But when that time comes, I think you need to be there. You know more about this stuff than anyone else. You were in there. You know how they work. No one else has that advantage and tactically it's smart to go in with knowledgeable backup. I'd be comfortable with you covering me."

"What, you don't think Sam and Steve's loud burst in and punch things first ask questions later style of playing Rambo is the way to go on this one?" she teases him softly and before dropping his hand.

"I'll go with you but let's get one thing straight," she says.

She reaches down to brush some hair out of his face and gives him a wicked grin.

"The Black Widow is no ones back up. We can be partners though."

"Yeah, I'd like to not cause international incidents that I'm actually responsible for and those two are a good way to start one," Bucky says dryly. He doesn't think Steve or Sam are the guys to go on this mission with him. They'll want to burst in with proverbial guns blazing and use brute force and Bucky thinks this calls for more subterfuge, subterfuge that he and Natasha are far more capable of accomplishing.

When she brushes his hair out of his face, he can't help the slow smile that blooms but he snorts when she says she's no one's backup but they can be partners. He rolls his eyes playfully.

"Oh, well, partners of course. I just always think of myself alone. If you wanna be side by side, though, I don't think I'm gonna complain one bit. You're good at what you do and I don't need to comb through your records to know that. You just have that...sway to you. That confidence. You don't have to fake it. You can't fake it."

"You're going to find out that the twenty-first century term for that is big dick energy," She says with a grin and fluffs his hair playfully before removing her hand from his hair.

"And yes, I absolutely do, because I am the best at what I do," She reassures him. What exactly does she do? Honestly it's gotten more and more complicated over the years since the Avengers official formed and it wasn't just a SHIELD thing anymore, but hopefully he wouldn't ask that question.

"Just because you think of yourself as always alone though, doesn't mean that you are. I'm sure if you work on that a little more you'll find memories of loved ones."

"I don't know if I'm comfortable with anyone saying I have big dick energy if they haven't seen my dick," Bucky says. "Of course, that would require me acting like it, so I guess it might never be an issue for me. But you, though. You couldn't be incompetent if you tried."

She fluffs his hair and he leans into it before she pulls her hand away. He suddenly wants her hand back as soon as she takes it away but he doesn't know if he's allowed to ask for things like that. Maybe she likes giving touch on her terms but asking for touch is something else.

"I like you being here. I know you can't stay because you have stuff to do but if you came back sometimes, I would really like that. This has been really nice."

"To be fair, you have no idea who all has seen your dick until you get your memories back," She challenges him. She doesn't even mean it in a romantic way, but just a general, army guys end up in weird naked situations in showers and crap together anyways so she waves a hand at him.

"Of course I'm coming back, with a telescope remember? I promised, and Natasha Romanoff does not break her promises to anyone."

"Probably a hundred people considering the war and HYDRA," Bucky says, sighing a little. "But I don't think any of those people were taking evaluations. Sure hope not, anyway. That would be...weird at best."

He's fine with the concept of big dick energy, though, because it seems to be more about confidence than what's actually in his pants and if someone thinks he's as confident and capable as Natasha, that's a good thing. He comes down on the side of it being a compliment if anyone says it to him.

"You still don't have to bring me a telescope, Natasha. I would love it but I don't need gifts from you. I just need you." Bucky frowns a little. "I mean, that came off really intense, I'm sorry. I just mean like, your company. I like you being around."

She's about to raddle of a 'Stop telling me what I can and can't do, James' when the words of need hit her like a freight train. He corrects his intensity of the statement but she still smiles over at him a little reassuringly.

"Don't worry, I didn't take that intensely at all..." she waves her hand. It's a boldfaced lie, but sometimes you've got do that. "However, stop telling me what I can and can bring you, you're getting all weird about it. I told you I was brining a telescope and so stop arguing with me Barnes, just say 'thank you Natasha' " she tells him with a smile.

Edited 2023-08-30 20:40 (UTC)

"Thank you, Natalia," he says in Russian and he doesn't know if he should have used that version of their name but they've been switching between Russian and English so easily that it feels natural to do it. When she says to stop being weird about her bringing him a gift he nods and just decides he'll have one for her, too, and then they'll be even. He just has to figure out what it'll be.

There's time between Natasha's next visit, though, time enough that he gets his new arm and there's enough leftover vibranium to make Natasha a pendant. Shuri laughs at it and accuses him of having a crush and he frowns at her and says it's just a present. Still, he puts it in a nice box and leaves it waiting for her for whenever she does come back and spends the time training with his new arm to get back into fighting form and to regain the weight and muscle that he'd lost.

The palace tells him he's going to have a visitor and that it's Natasha so he is happy about that, lighter on his feet than he's been for a while.

It's almost a month before Natasha's next trip to Wakanda. Steve and Sam had had a lot of free time and she didn't want to push into the rotation too hard and strike up any sort of suspicion or weird thoughts about anything. She wasn't worried about Steve so much, Steve thinks Bucky is the best friend in the world and thinks anyone would want to be friends with him. Sam though, that was her concern.

She is carrying a large fancy case that's very clearly holding a telescope when she heads out to meet him and sees how good he looks with the arm and the smile as she approaches him.

"Hey there handsome, got a whole new arm and lookin' good I see."

"Yeah, trying to get used to it." Bucky is trying to get used to a lot of things - chief among them being called "handsome" by Natasha. She seems to flirt so much as breathe, though, so he tries not to read anything into it and just enjoy her company.

He sees the case he assumes is the telescope and shakes his head.

"I told you that I didn't need presents but because I knew you'd bring me one, I got you one too. Bring that inside and let me get you something to drink, yeah?"

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