ostavil | open post

"I know. I need your measurements. Turn around." She unwrapped a measuring tape from her wrist and began taking measurements, across the shoulders, down each arm, torso, waist, hips, and length of leg. She kept her movements precise and professional, never mind how her hands wanted to linger, perhaps wander, reacquaint themselves with the body beneath that dress uniform.

"Howard didn't get the updated roster until late last night. He's been running himself ragged, trying to fill all these requisition orders." She made a few notes on her clipboard. "I knew about Erskine's experiment with Captain Rogers, Howard had to assist on that one, since it was his machine that they used..." and here she paused, pen in hand. "...but I didn't know Rogers was your friend, James."

And she hadn't.

A brief glance across the room revealed the other soldiers kibitzing among themselves; Stark and the Major were still in his office, now with Captain Rogers with them, too.

She crossed her arms over the clipboard, holding it against her chest. "...it wasn't like that. That I didn't want to bother, James." She kept her voice low, hushed. "I just...didn't think it was the best decision. You were leaving, and..."

"Natalie! Natalie, come here a minute, would ya?"

Howard's voice jolted her out of her thoughts, and she immediately stiffened, whirled around in a flare of red curls and hurried over, holding out her notes for Stark to take and all but usher her into the office with the others.

No, it's for the better, Bucky thinks, watching as Natalie strolls off toward Stark. He's famous for skirt chasing, Howard Stark, and whatever charms Bucky might have offered in bed probably weren't anything near what Natalie was getting from Howard Stark - personal relationship or not. Natalie seems smart enough to be on her own merit and not just a pretty piece for Howard to look at so it's probably the job that's keeping her busy and nothing else. Still.

He ends up going to dinner with Steve who, predictably, figured out something was wrong and when Bucky had pointed out it was girl trouble, Steve made the wise decision to politely bow out. Neither of them were good with girls, it seemed. Still, Bucky has a few ideas and when he gets a moment to sneak away in a day or two, he gets Natalie a box of chocolate and a dozen roses. She's got a little temporary office set up just outside Stark's so he makes his way there, glad to see her head bent over paperwork.

"Do you have a minute, Natalie?"

She'd been buried in Stark's transcripts for the past three hours. Her eyes hurt, her wrist cramped, but she had to get these notes transposed before close of business, because Howard and his entire staff would be headed for Nazi Germany in just thirty-six short hours. So she soldiered on, pausing only for the occasional swallow of lukewarm coffee here and there.

A knock on the door facing brought her blinking out of Howard's scrawling script, and she blinked in surprised to see James Barnes just outside, flowers and a predictable box in his hands. One of her eyebrows went up, and she leaned back in her chair slightly, letting her cramped wrist rest on the desk for a moment.

"Sergeant Barnes. How can I help you?"

Howard was puttering about somewhere, working on adjustments for the Commandos' final designs, and Jarvis was lurking as usual, to say nothing of the military brass constantly coming and going. Sometimes it seemed like a Moscow train station, rather than a highly-classified scientific laboratory.

It's perfectly professional, the nice and crisp Sergeant Barnes, but Bucky feels like it shouldn't be. He's been with her, tangled up in her for a whole night and he feels like he ought to at least be Bucky if he's not the James that she'd favored that night. Still, he's here with flowers and candy and there's no way to pretend they aren't hers. It'd be stupid to even attempt a lie,

"Just thought maybe I should bring you something to perk you up," Bucky says finally. "Probably too forward of me and I know it but I couldn't - I just wanted to get you something. Spoil you a little bit."

As far as he's seen at Stark's compound so far, he's the only one interested in Natalie. "I wanted to get you something to tell you I enjoyed our night out, moya zveda. Did I say it right?"

She knew she should stop this. Shut him down cold and never, ever see him again. Because he was dangerous. Not physically or professionally, but dangerous all the same. It was his goodness, his sincerity. She couldn't afford it. No matter how much she might yearn for it.

So it took her completely by surprise when she found herself rising from her chair, coming around the desk to invite him into her small closet-sized office, taking the presents from him and placing both on her desk, though she did pause to sniff at the lovely flowers. Then she gently closed the door, flipped its tiny lock, and pulled closed the blinds on both the outward facing windows and the window in the hallway.

Then she was in his arms, shoving the cap off of his head to sink her fingers into his dark hair, pulling him down to meet her lips in a desperate, messy kiss. "Moya zvezda," she corrected breathlessly. "I've missed you, James. What took you so long?"

"Zvezda, he corrects himself, trying to remember the pronunciation. He thinks he might ought to get a Russian dictionary at this point if he's going to date Natalie. And oh, is he going to date her. In his mind, there's no reason not to date while he's training here with Stark.

"I was... I didn't think you were still interested," Bucky says. He realizes it's stupid almost as soon as he says it, though, and draws her into another long kiss to mask his embarrassment.

"Didn't know how to make it clear I was."

“It was clear enough,” she whispered, kissing him again. God, but she’d missed the taste of his mouth, those sweet lips that were so soft to kiss. “I just...had to be careful,” she tried to explain. And that was true in more than just the obvious. Her handlers had warned her over and over again about the danger of lingering relationships; take what you need from the mark and move on. It is the only way. But she was a woman still, and a young one, at that, no matter how polished or perfectly-trained to be a consummate chameleon.

“And this really isn’t a good idea, James,” she told him, feathering her fingertips over his face. “Howard and the entire staff will be leaving tomorrow night for Germany.” She wasn’t sure if the Commandos were in the know about their upcoming assignment, but if their superiors had any brains in their heads... well. “So our time is really short, unfortunately.”

Natalia forced herself to step back, out of his arms, though her hands lingered in his. “I just...didn’t want us to get too attached, then have nothing at all.” And that, at least, was the absolute truth.

Bucky smiles a little, soft and more than a bit sad. If they ship out to Germany tomorrow, there's a chance he won't ever see her again. He's going to Germany too but from what he understands he'll be at the front while Stark is going to be just inside Switzerland where neither Allied nor Axis troops can set foot in due to the neutrality pact. They'll be safe, which means Natalie will be safe. The trick now is keeping himself in one piece so he can come back to her and oh, he's coming back to her.

Bucky takes her and lifts them to his lips, kissing them softly and spending way too much time doing it. They're in New York tonight, which means he can ask her out the way she ought to be asked out.

"Come to dinner with me, Natalie. Let me bring you out on an actual, proper date before we have to say goodbye. Please? We might never see each other again."

Natalia knew she ought to refuse. Let him down gently, close all of this off before he inevitably got hurt. Even if Stark was going to be working in close quarters with the Army's new elite crack unit, there still wasn't room for this sort of relationship. It would get him killed, and her compromised. As if she wasn't compromised enough already. But thankfully she'd spotted no observers nearby - her handlers were unaware of just how well she knew their silent faces in the crowds - so she presumed her cover was still intact.

And besides, her traitorous mind supplied, wouldn't this sort of thing just sell her position even further? A pretty, young secretary and a handsome soldier; why, it was practically the rage around town just now.

Bucky kissed and nuzzled at her fingers, not realizing just how weak he was making her knees. She turned them over in his light grasp, the better to brush her fingertips against his face and mouth, covetously wanting more of his tender touches. They both might die tomorrow. Their future was anything but certain. And she still, against her better judgement, wanted him.

Natalia bit her lower lip.

"...all right." A door slammed down the hallway, making her startle slightly. "But I have to get this paperwork done first, Howard's waiting on the transcripts."

"That's fine. I'll swing by later to come get you and if you're not done, I'll wait until you are," Bucky says. He leers at her a moment, which isn't his style, and he captures her wrist in his hand so she can't take hers away. Her fingers are up against his lips and he parts them to draw her fingers in lightly and suck a bit.

"See you tonight, then? I won't wear my uniform," Bucky says. "I'll wear another suit and maybe we won't attract too much attention from being off base less than twenty four hours before getting deployed. Pretty sure they don't look kindly on that."

His ogling gaze had an eyebrow going up, but she didn't chastise for him for it; if anything, she took it as a challenge, and didn't hesitate to stroke his tongue with her index finger, a tantalizing tease. He should know better than to toss a gauntlet, the silly boy.

"Won't that get you in trouble?" She'd thought enlisted personnel were required to wear their uniforms when out and about if they were on active duty. "But if you think you can sneak past your upper brass, then by all means." Natalia took a step closer, pulling her fingers from his mouth and sliding a wet digit across his lovely lips, her own gaze going a little dark and sultry in turn.

"I know what you look like without it, after all."

"Baby girl, if you don't want me getting into trouble with you, that's long since past. I'll wear my uniform, though. I don't want to get slapped the night before I have to go to Germany. I know a nice Italian place I want to take you to anyway. Need to dress up a little and I haven't worn my suit since basic. Might be a little snug now."

He gives her another longing look and when he returns, much later, he's dressed in his dress uniform and not the fatigues he'd been in during the day. He's freshly shaved and worn a little of his carefully-hoarded Old Spice because he feels like he ought to really make it special for the last time he's likely to see Natalia.

"Stark still piling paperwork on you, doll? Or can we get out of here?"

She'd just come out of Stark's office after handing off the transcripts, adjusting Howard's schedule, making a list of things he'd need to pack and going over it with Jarvis, and running the armory chief through the inventory of what to take and what to leave when they departed tomorrow night. White-tired around the eyes, her skirt wrinkled and her blouse a little haphazard, Natalia rounded the corner back to her own closet-cum-office, and nearly collided with her "date", grinning and looking like a million bucks.

Her weary eye nevertheless took in the small details; his slanted grin, brilliant smile, uniform pressed and creased to inspection-perfection, the shine on his gleaming shoes, the absolutely clean edge of his jaw where he'd no doubt shaved probably ten minutes ago. No doubt about it, James Barnes cleaned up pretty damn good.

And he smelled absolutely edible, she realized, stepping a little closer to let one of the construction teams pass in the narrow hallway. One of the workers leered at her as they trooped by, clicking his tongue and giving her a salacious wink, both of which she ignored, albeit she did roll her eyes, exasperated, but nodded at James as she opened the door and stepped into her workspace.

"Just delivered the last. He'll be packing tonight and all day tomorrow, and gave me the night off to do my own, so I'm officially done for the day." Shouldering her purse, she started for the door, then hesitated, glancing aside, suddenly nervous. "Um...is it okay if...I mean, would you mind if we went by my place first?" She gestured at her overall rumpled appearance. "I'm a mess, and you look...wonderful. I need to change clothes, at least, maybe redo my hair, fix my face...something."

She ran out of words and stood there covertly wringing her hands, a little nonplussed.

"I'm not seeing anything to complain about," Bucky says, giving her a leisurely once-over. "But I don't mind swinging by your place if you want to powder your nose. Don't worry about a wallet, either - I'm taking care of everything."

He gets paid damn well, as an officer, and he should be paying for anything she wants on this date. He opens the door for her and guides her out onto the street before hailing a cab.

"Tell 'im the address, baby girl, and we can get going."

She locked her office door and fled with Bucky in tow, before anything else could intrude. Sliding into the cab without hesitation, Natalia gave the driver an address in uptown Manhattan, not too far from their current location. Jarvis usually drove her to and from the laboratory, but she'd assured him that she didn't need a chauffeur tonight and tomorrow morning; she'd be perfectly capable of finding her own way. He'd disapproved, but hadn't argued.

Once they'd arrived at her building, she climbed out of the cab, thankful for James's strong arm. The doorman greeted Miss Rushman respectfully, doffing his cap and politely inquiring as to her guest. She gave him a dollar from her purse, thanking him, and informing the old man that she and her companion would be going out to dinner then returning quite late, so if he'd please keep an eye out, she'd be grateful.

Stark had appropriated a modest dwelling for her on the tenth floor, a corner apartment that was sparsely furnished despite its renovated elegance; there were few keepsakes, and just enough furniture to be functional. The place did sport a beautiful view of the city skyline, however, and Natalia invited her soldier inside, immediately kicking off her work shoes as she turned on the lights.

"So...I don't really live with a roommate," she confessed, placing her purse on the small table and slowly turning to face Bucky. "I don't...I've never...really brought anyone else here, James." Just to have something to do, she rested her fingers on the back of the upholstered chair. "Working for Howard Stark is its own brand of paranoia, and security measures are...well...strict." One way of putting it.

"Does it--," and God how she hated having to portray this image; the shy, earnest schoolgirl, "--are you mad?"

Bucky frowns for a moment, trying to work out why he would potentially be angry that Natalia hadn't ever brought a guy back to her place before. He usually brings girls back to his unless he's invited up and it's not such a strange thing.

"Why would I be mad about it? You're just telling me that Stark wants to keep track of his people, which - it doesn't shock me. He's an inventor. He'd never want anyone to see what he's working on and anyone who potentially had access, he'd keep them close so they couldn't sneak off with his plans."

It doesn't make sense to him, at all, and he feels his brow furrowing a little. He steps forward, more into Natalia's space, and lays his hand over hers on the chair.

Natalia turned her hand over when his came to rest over hers, interlacing their fingers together. "Most guys would be put out that their girl wasn't entirely truthful, James." Or so she'd thought. It seemed she learned something new about these "Americans" every single day.

She had to bite the inside of her lip tightly, however, because she was currently deeply involved in doing exactly what he'd just said. Unbeknownst to Stark, of course, as well as the entire American military. It had never occurred to them that a pretty face could be more dangerous than a thousand dropped bombs. Well, they would learn.

But for now, she simply lifted her face, parting her lips as she rose on her toes for a soft, lingering kiss, giving a slight moan at his sweet, sweet taste. "I'm glad you understand," she whispered, then slipped away, stepping around him to head further into her apartment.

"Give me fifteen minutes," she called from the hallway. "Make yourself...comfortable, I guess. Be right back."

Bucky settles on her couch, waiting for her to come back. He would have taken her to dinner just as she was but if she wants to dress up and look classy for the place, even better. She's the most beautiful woman he's ever seen and knowing he's been with her is surreal.

As he waits, he looks around a little bit. Other than the gorgeous city view, there's not a lot of things in her place that speak to what she likes, what makes her comfortable. It could be anyone's place, really, standing empty and looking to be made into a home.

When she comes back out, he lets out a low whistle. "Darlin', you're trying to kill me before the Germans do."

She'd opted for something semi-formal, a pretty navy cocktail dress with a short jacket to match, both fitting her like a second skin and the lacework across her bodice a pleasant friction. Opting to leave her hair down, simply held away from her face by two diamond combs, she'd added a small necklace and earrings to match, and hastily applied fresh lipstick before tugging on her shoes. (She'd forewent the stockings, this time.)

Hearing James's whistle and seeing those blue eyes light right up when they saw her was thrilling, however, and she flushed softly, giving him a soft smile. "There you go again," she teased, shifting a few essentials from her everyday bag to a smaller black purse, understated against her outfit, "over-exaggerating outrageously, Sergeant Barnes."

Natalia came back around the couch, holding out her hand. "I bet you say that to all the girls, don't you?"

"No," Bucky says sincerely. "I don't say that to all the girls. I say that to you, Natalie, and just you."

She's absolutely beautiful and he curses his bad luck that he's only managed to meet her when he's run out of time. They can't be together. Even writing letters - there's a chance he'll die. There's a chance the spark will die after time apart. Not for him, though. His feelings for Natalie Rushman aren't going to change.

"C'mon. Let's go before we miss our reservation. I picked the nicest place I could afford."

The restaurant was very nice, a place Howard hadn't bothered to investigate in his dining spree. Which suited Natalia perfectly fine. No chance of being recognized by any of the staff or other patrons. Although she'd never been here before, the scents wafting out of the place were wonderful, and she sniffed eagerly as they got out of the taxi.

Bucky escorted her inside with all the panache of a true gentleman, his hand at her back to guide her along, and he waved the server away to hold her chair himself. She didn't miss the minute nervousness he tried to hide; Natalia once more reminded herself that she was setting them both up for heartbreak down the road. But she couldn't...she just couldn't get up and walk out now.

Not when he was gazing at her with those beautiful eyes, his heart beating painfully on his sleeve, and taking and kissing her hand after sliding his chair around to sit closer to hers, clearly wanting to shower her with affection and commitment, a house and a white picket fence, the whole deal. She wanted to cry, behind her perfect porcelain mask.

"Everything's good but I have to recommend the ziti and the tiramisu if you want to save room for dessert," Bucky says. "I came here one time after my sister got married. Cost my entire's week pay but it was worth it. I was still tossing papers in high school back then, though."

He gets paid better now, a lot better, and he's glad he can spoil her just a little. He's never been this turned around by a girl and he wants to show Natalie oe last good night.

"Don't want to leave tomorrow. Maybe I'll get to see you in Switzerland on leave, though?"

She gave him a mildly reproachful look. "James, you shouldn't be spending your money on me, you know. Save it, for when you need it." Their waiter passed by with glasses and wine, the rich red sweet on her tongue. "Your sisters are older, yes?" He'd mentioned more than one, and she was intrigued by that.

The mention of Switzerland sobered her a little, though, and her fingers tightened around his. "...maybe." Hopefully. "I know Howard's going to be doing a lot of work for the soldiers at the front, so it's possible we'll be nearby a time or two, but..." Natalia shook her head. "I-I really can't talk much about it, James." She did know that the Commandos weren't going to be going directly to the main front, however. The Army had other missions for those elite soldiers.

She let him order for them both, and the garlic bread arrived first, along with their salads. Rather than dwell on the near future, blood, pain, and death, Natalia picked up a breadstick, broke it in half, and offered a piece to her sweet soldier, smiling softly. "Hungry, Sergeant?"

He's not, really, but he takes the breadstick anyway and chews mechanically. He orders a bottle of wine for them which, again, isn't really in his budget but he's going to do it anyway. Natalie deserves a nice night out before they're separated - and possibly for forever.

"I'm scared," Bucky admits softly. "To go. It makes me a coward, I know that, but I'm scared. I'm scared I won't be able to keep the men in my unit safe. I'm scared Steve'll die even though they popped him full of that serum. I'm scared I'm the weakest part of this strike team going in against HYDRA and the Germans - I'm just a marksman. Anyone can shoot a gun, Natalie. I don't do anything special."

He swallows a gulp of wine and traces his fingers against the tablecloth, watching it even though there's nothing there to see. "I'm scared to die."

Hearing this, she sobered. "It's not cowardice to be afraid, James." She could testify first-hand to that, after all. "It's what...well, it's what makes us human. What makes us strive even harder to survive. Fear can be a weapon, if you let it." She dropped the small bite of bread and reached for his other hand, shifting in her seat so she could grip both of his in hers.

"You're willing to go," she reminded him, catching those blue eyes. "That's special right there, isn't it?" Her thumbs stroked over the back of his hands. "And you admit that you're scared. Most men wouldn't. At least you're going into this with your eyes open, not hoping for glory and honor and all the other fantasies most men dream about.

"Besides," she added, forcing a small smile, solely for his benefit, "I'm not going to let you die." Natalia lifted both of his hands, pressing a soft, deliberate kiss on the back of each. "There," she said. "Now you're protected. You'll be safe, and come home again."

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