She knew her eyes were glassy, gazing up at him. Her lips felt bruised, but throbbed deliciously. And there was the taste she'd been craving earlier, swiped from her lower lip as she licked it. Natalia carded a hand through Bucky's hair, drawing him back down for a series of slower, deeper kisses.
"I'll see what I can do," she promised. "But Phillips isn't going to care about my recommendations, or anyone else's, really." The man was notorious for "by the book". "I've thought about you all day, James," she confessed softly, "and I really need you to kiss me again." Because God only knew when she'd have another taste, regardless of how slight, of him.
Bucky doesn't really want to waste time talking when he could be kissing her instead so he tips her chin up so he can kiss her again and this time it's slower and more thorough than the first kiss. He doesn't dare unbutton her blouse or chance going under her skirt but he does cup her breast while he kisses her, imagining how good it feels when he touches her bare skin.
"I'll kiss you any time you want, Natalia. Ya lyublyu tebya tak sil'no, Natalia."
That dictionary is working out all right but he's really, really going to have to get his hands on something so he can actually speak Russian to her when they're alone and not just play at it.
No matter how much she wanted his hands on her bare skin, this wasn't nearly the time or the place for such endeavors. She couldn't have all of him, only a brief sample. Her breath hitched when he cupped her breast, the satin wrinkling beneath his hand, though Natalia could care less. But she moaned against his mouth when he spoke to her in her native tongue, and she had to stifle the wild urge to climb up and wrap her legs around his waist, to climb him like a tree.
Though she couldn't resist scattering kisses all over his face, his nose, his cheeks, his chin, the corners of his mouth. Breathing words she wasn't even aware of saying, only knowing that they were true. "...moy Dzheyms... moya sladkaya zvezda... moya sladkaya lyubov'..."
Then the intercom crackled again, Howard asking for a second set of files along with the first. Natalia groaned, dropping her forehead to Bucky's shoulder before regretfully beginning to pull away, her body already mourning his loss.
"Better get him what he wants," Bucky says, squeezing her shoulders lightly. "I'm going to catch a nap. If you want to leave Steve with Peggy, there's a seat open next to me."
He doesn't know if she'll take him up on it or not but he is tired. He tucks a pillow under his cheek and sleeps sitting up, heedless of how awful his neck is going to be after.
Maybe if he sleeps for the rest of the flight, Natalia won't be so goddamn tempting to him.
She brought the requested files to Howard and Phillips, checked in on Agent Carter and Captain Rogers, and fetched blankets and pillows for the other servicemen as they asked, somewhat shyly, she noted with amusement. But she still had her own work to do, so she resumed her former seat next to her snoozing lover, and went back at it, but a few hours over the Atlantic and her own eyes were becoming wearily heavy.
A glance around proved most everyone else already asleep; Peggy and Steve had presumably abandoned work and were talking together softly up near the cockpit, but the other commandos had all leaned over and were grabbing what shut-eye they could before the flight's end. So Natalia carefully smoothed her skirt, set aside her folders and her clipboard, and, making sure her seatbelt was securely fastened, gently listed over to lean against James's right arm, letting her eyes drift closed, safe by his side.
...only to be woken a few hours later when the plane gave a violent shudder and suddenly slewed to the side; alarms began sounding and she heard Howard yell even from the security of the front cabin. The plane rocked, bright bursts of gunfire and light exploding out of the dark windows, and everyone began yammering in a mix of surprise, fear, and panic; she spied Rogers bolt out of his seat - unwisely, as it turned out, for the plane heaved again and sent him sliding down the center aisle. Peggy started after him, but another bright explosion threw her back into her own seat.
Rather than leap to her feet - especially when the aircraft was rocking back and forth like a drunken giant - Natalia remained in her seat, but wound her arm beneath Bucky's, clasping him tight and immediately lacing her fingers with his. "We've been hit," she intoned woodenly, eyes large and a little frightened. "We must be over occupied airspace, or..." Or the Allies hadn't recognized them. But Howard was a good pilot, she trusted him to get them through it.
Bucky startles awake quick and the idea that he's in a plane getting shot down and there's nothing he can contribute to help it has him scared shitless. At least in a face to face fight, he can hold his own. How do you hold your own against bombs?
Natalia is clinging against him, though, so he focuses on keeping her protected with his body. He doesn't think it'll do any good if they are hit and are getting hit again but he can at least try.
"Hang on to me, doll. I've got you." He presses his lips against her ear and whispers as soft as he can manage. "S toboy nichego ne sluchitsya, Natalia."
The aircraft banked, slewed, shuddered, then suddenly dropped several thousand feet all in the space of five heartbeats. Men yelled, Phillips appeared demanding everyone just "sit the hell down, we've been hit but it's not serious, and just wait it out!" Natalia could hear Howard chattering rapidly into the radio, English, French, and even German, trying to cease the anti-air retaliation.
A white explosion went off right outside of the window where they sat, and she couldn't close her eyes fast enough as shattered her vision, and she gave an involuntary yelp, clinging to James in blind panic. The racking above them began to groan and give way; Dugan was suddenly there, holding up the duffels and other luggage that had been shaken loose. "Move it, Barnes!" the gruff soldier demanded. "Get her outta there before this entire bulkhead goes!"
Still blinded by the flash, Natalia put both arms around her soldier, trusting him to keep his whispered promise. "...James--?"
"C'mon, to the front, Nat," Bucky says. He has orders now and he can mobilize so he moves toward the front of the plane, Natalia in his arms, and shelters her there while the back end of the whole damn thing feels like it's coming off. He wishes he had a parachute in spite of Phillips saying they should just ride it out.
"Moy Natalia," he murmurs. "It's all right. I've got you right here. Just let me hold you and breathe me in and everything is gonna be just fine, okay?"
She let him guide her through the melee, still blinded by the flash of bright white light. Fingers clutching tactical straps, Natalia followed James up the aisle and all but collapsed next to Agent Carter, the other woman just as ashen as she.
"I can't see," Natalia whispered, a small note of fear creeping into her voice. She groped for him, finding his face and cupping his cheek. "James, I can't see." Her eyes roved back and forth; though she could feel and smell, and hear him, her vision was still nothing but black spots on a bright white background, stabbing pain into her head.
She heard Howard still yelling into the radio, felt the plane banking back and forth, but yelped again when they lost another thousand feet of altitude. "...James??" Then Howard's voice came crackling over the intercom.
"Hang on, folks! We've lost engine one but we're gonna land okay...as long as the gear holds but don't worry about that, I got it covered!" Phillips was swearing profusely in the background. "We're still...over France, so never fear! ...at least I think we are... Anyway! We're going down, so hang on to your hats, gents, we're gonna be fiiiinnnneee!"
It isn't Bucky's preferred method of traveling, especially since he's never been on a goddamn plane before now. He guesses he should have signed up for those parachuting stunts. When Howard says to hang on to his hat, he keeps Natalia tugged up against his broad chest.
"Nothing's going to happen to you, lisichka," Bucky says softly. "Nothing will happen when you're with me. I can protect you, I promise." It's idle promises and he doesn't know if he can make them.
Peggy was by now crouched on the floor next to the both of them, hanging on for dear life also. She stared to speak, but before she could, a looming shadow appeared and Captain Rogers staggered up the aisle, clutching the draped racking to keep his feet.
"Buck, I need you. We gotta get the cargo loose and drop it before we go down. Stark says if we don't, the weight'll unbalance the plane so we can't land clean. We gotta get it parachuted out the back hatch. The other guys are attaching the chutes now. We gotta hurry."
Natalia bit her lip, still clutching James's uniform strap. Her eyes were wide, but nothing focused. Agent Carter reached for her other hand, saying, "It's all right, Sergeant. I've got her. She'll be safe with me." She gave Bucky a firm nod, a glance at Steve, then back at Bucky. "Go, help the Captain."
It's not that Bucky doubts Peggy's skills or anything like that - it's more that he can't bear to leave Natalia when she's clearly so afraid and needed him close. Still, he has to be a soldier like anyone else and he steels his jaw and gets up to follow Steve, more than willing to take orders at this point.
"How long do you think we'll get to get everything off loaded?" he asks, looking around at the wreckage around them. This isn't the ideal way to land because it's more like bailing out, really, but what's there to do?
Bucky moves to start attaching chutes to boxes, moving as efficiently as he can.
The other Commandoes were hustling about to get the precious weaponry secured, and the addition of Steve and Bucky only expedited the chore. “Not sure,” Steve grunted as he clipped a buckle and gave a solid yank, tightening the straps. “But put your chute on, just in case.” Hurrying by, Dugan thrust a pair of personal life chutes at the both of them.
The plane suddenly listed wildly to the left, and the acrid stench of gasoline smoke filled the cargo bay. “Shit!” Dugan yelled, clambering back to his feet. “This whole fucker’s gonna go down in flames!” And sure enough, with beautiful ironic timing, a glare of pale yellow and orange began to lick its way up the side of the walls on the left side of the hull.
“Blow the cargo!” Steve yelled, and one of the others slammed the hatch lock, the ramp screeching and tearing away with an awful sound of ripping metal. The sheer weight of the cargo was enough to help gravity slide it towards the gaping hole at the rear of the plane, and with almost exquisite sow motion, it began to slide, then to fall.
Out of the choking smoke, Colonel Phillips appeared, dragging with him a disheveled Agent Carter. “Everyone got their chutes?” he demanded, thrusting one on the protesting Peggy. “Good. Rogers, get your men and evacuate. Now.” They all stared at him. “That’s a goddamn order, Captain!” he roared.
“Sir, what about the civilians!” Steve demanded, incredulous.
“Stark’s on his own, insisted he could land this heap despite the engine failure. I’m not going down with him and sacrificing all of our lives for his ego.” Phillips glowered, clearly not enjoying this decision, but he had damn little choice. “Now get your asses outta that hatch! Now!”
Bucky can't really take time to think about the fact that he's going to be parachuting out of this plane because all he can think about is getting back to Natalia and giving her this parachute so she can go instead. There's no time though so he decides he's just going to have to trust Howard Stark's not a complete idiot.
"We die, we die together," Bucky shouts, forcing his way back forward to cockpit to pull Natalia in his arms. If she's going to have to stay, so is he. Unfortunately, Phillips isn't in a giving mood and gives the order again before he bails out himself - Bucky has to follow orders whether he wants to or not. He glances back, worried, and then he jumps.
He's goddamn glad the chute works, at least, and he's little worse for the wear other than some shell-shock. It's Natalia he's worried about (and he guesses a little about Stark) so he looks back to see what he can do within orders.
"Sir? Permission to look for Stark and the civilians?"
"Denied," Phillips replied curtly, unclipping his parachute and fighting his way free of the cords. It was snowing, but that didn't stop the Colonel from taking command; he wasn't going to go down in history as the officer who got the Howling Commandos and Captain America killed before they'd even been deployed. "We've gotta get ourselves out of this hellhole and to a friendly zone. Gather your trash and move the hell out!"
Steve finally trotted up, not even breathing hard. "Everyone's accounted fir, sir," he reported, clipping his shield on his back. "A couple of the men are a bit rattled, but that's not surprising." Dugan and the others appeared out of the snowstorm, shivering but alive and mobile.
"Anyone know where the fuck we are?"
"Gotta smoke?"
"Qu'est-ce qui vient de se passer?"
"Did anyone happen to see what became of the plane?"
That was Peggy, marching up and looking like a Valkyrie; mussed, disheveled, but absolutely in control and expecting an answer forthwith. "Captain Rogers, Colonel, I believe we're perhaps four leagues inside the French border, and there should be a town just over that ridge. Shall we?"
Bucky has been denied the chance to go look for Stark and Natalia and he doesn't know what to do. This is the kind of reason why he didn't want to go to war and he'd tricked himself with thinking she'd be safe nestled inside Switzerland running paperwork. Nobody is safe during war.
Bucky mechanically goes about picking up what's been dropped because they have to get this tech out of enemy sight and away from any plane crashes within (or without, really) Nazi Germany. Focusing on that helps him not thinking about how terrified Natalia must be if she's even still alive and he tells himself that it's the sting of snow pricking at his eyes instead of tears.
When Agent Carter addresses Steve and the Colonel, Bucky wants to go. He manages to wrench the words out in a way that sound like asking permission - and looks at Phillips expectantly for an answer.
"Should I go with you or do I have other orders, sir?"
"Captain Rogers," Phillips began, shouldering a duffel, "you, Barnes, Morita, and Dernier escort Agent Carter to this little town somewhere over that there rainbow, and the rest of us sorry excuses for soldiers will keep ourselves warm by hauling this junk through the snow until such time as you commandeer a few vehicles to assist us with that exercise. Am I clear?"
Steve nodded, not missing the anguish written all over his best friend's face, clear as day to him, perhaps not so to the others. Although he had his doubts when he saw Peggy pass by Bucky, place a hand on his arm, and whisper, "She'll be all right," before moving to pick up her own satchel.
"C'mon, guys," Steve said, calling out to Morita and the Frenchman, "let's get moving. Gotta lotta ground to cover, and the weather isn't making it easier."
Agent Carter's assurances didn't do much even if he knew she probably wouldn't give them if she didn't have a reasonable idea that Natalia and Stark would be all right. Bucky doesn't know Jarvis but he's gotten to know Stark a little and he knows that he's important to this war - having the three of them alive is going to be for the best.
He still feels like his boots are heavier with every step and by the time they get to the little town, he's pretty damn desperate for some news of this plane crashing and whether or not Natalia will be all right. Dernier is there to translate for them, sure, but Bucky strains his ears as well in hopes that he hears something positive; his French isn't any better than it ever was, though, and he's been studying Russian more lately.
"Steve, what do we do if we can't find them?" he asks, voice pitched low. "I'm not just worried about my girl. I'm worried about Stark and his brain, too."
"...we go on, Buck. We gotta go on." Steve hadn't meant it to sound so grim, but it was the brutal truth. He wasn't exactly sure just what sort of relationship his best friend had with Stark's secretary, but that "my girl" perked his ears a little curiously. Now wasn't the time for that discussion, however.
Agent Carter managed to procure a few cold-running trucks, and brought the news back to Steve and Bucky. "Well, they're not Cadillacs, unfortunately, but they've a decent steering system and a large cargo area, so we should be able to transport all of Stark's equipment." She handed a set of keys each to the men.
"Here. You three get back to Phillips and the others, and I'll have accommodations available by the time you return. As well as any news of our pilot and the others, I promise. And," she added, serious, "be careful. There've been sightings of German patrols in this area."
"Who's staying with you, Agent Carter? Steve?" Bucky wants it to be him but he knows Agent Carter is too valuable an asset to the government and, well, to Steve personally for her to be left out of his eyes for too long. Still, Bucky wants to ask on the off chance that he'll be able to go and find Natalia (and hopefully Stark with her).
Steve gives him a sharp look and he heads out, keys in hand. He has to keep moving. He knows Steve wouldn't pack it in if Agent Carter was missing but he has to wonder if it's even the same. Agent Carter is trained in marksmanship and combat. She could fight her way out of a tight spot, if she needed to, and Natalia seems fragile in contrast. Besides, she'd been so terrified when he left her...what must she be feeling now?
It doesn't matter. He drives back to Phillips with the truck the way he's supposed to and doesn't stop off on the way, though he does have to exchange fire with a German patrol and kill their scouts. They have gear and he dutifully pulls it off them, trying to see if it's anything worth salvaging or if it's standard issue. When he's back to Phillips, the others are already there.
"Sorry. Got stopped by a patrol, had to take them out before they said anything. Think we're in the clear."
The first two trucks were loaded by the time Bucky arrived, Phillips just giving him an acknowledging grunt in response. Steve approached his friend with a worried frown, however, putting a hand on Bucky's shoulder and drawing him a little ways away from the others.
"Buck, you okay?"
Steve knew the answer, of course, but he needed to hear Bucky say it. There was more to this than just "making a pass". He'd never seen Bucky act this way regarding a dame; his best friend was a good guy, to be sure, but never one to settle down with one girl for too long, for whatever reason.
"If Phillips told you to leave Agent Carter behind on that plane," Bucky says roughly, not really wanting to talk about it right here in the open or where it might be filling in a blank he doesn't want filled in. "You wouldn't have followed the order, would you?"
Steve is more than a rank and file soldier, though, and Bucky imagines there's little he could do that would get him kicked to the curb. He's a super soldier, America's weapon against Nazi Germany. Bucky is just a regular guy who got drafted with all the rest.
"No use talking about it. She was terrified and I promised her I wouldn't leave. Then I left her."
"We're gonna find her, Buck," Steve promised, clapping his friend on the shoulder. "Her and Stark both. They're gonna be okay and we're gonna bring them back." He had no idea how, but Steve trusted Peggy enough to know that she'd be moving heaven and earth to find their lost comrades back in that little town. It might take her a bit, but Steve knew she'd come through, no matter the outcome.
"You didn't have a choice," Steve also reminded him. "Some orders are harder to follow than others, I know, but that's our job. It's rough, but we gotta do it."
Then Dugan whistled, calling out for them to get their asses in a truck before they got left out here in the shitty weather and had to walk back, again.
Bucky knows he didn't have a choice but it doesn't make it feel any better. He'd thought unburdening himself to Steve would make it better, too, but it isn't. Now Steve is just one more person who knows just how much Natalia means to him - and Steve doesn't even know the half of it.
He doesn't know that she only uses Natalie out in public and uses her real name with him. He doesn't know that Natalia wraps herself up in his arms at night and whispers moya zvezda as if he's something to set up in the sky and guide her home. Steve doesn't know about the night they'd spent at their place, frantic and fleeting, and he definitely doesn't know about the ruined dinner or the walk in the rain or him saying he loved her before any man in his right mind would say something like that.
Bucky isn't sure if Natalia loves him or not. She's fond of him, absolutely, but they haven't been together long enough to love. He loves because his brain's been all twisted up by her but he doesn't know if it's quite that strong on her side. He wishes he could have heard it once before losing her forever.
"You look like you're burying her and we haven't looked," Steve points out. Bucky cuts him a sharp look and keeps quiet, turning up the collar of his coat to ostensibly block the wind and his expression from everyone else. When they get back into the village and find Agent Carter, Steve takes the lead asking questions.
"Any idea where our plane might be, Agent Carter?"
Peggy was waiting for them when the convoy rolled up the slushy hill to the small town. She gave them a nod as they pulled up, and also gave directions where they could hide the vehicles and the cargo stacked in them. To Steve, Bucky, and Phillips, she said after pulling them aside, "...in Germany, I'm afraid. Stark managed to keep the plane in the air until they crossed the border, but if the locals are correct, it went down somewhere near Fischingen."
She lowered her voice further, adding, "We're in Rosenau, next to the river. Fischingen is about twenty-three kilometers inside occupied Germany, and there's an enemy garrison encamped just outside the town. If Stark's alive, we can hope his money and influence will get him back across the border, but we don't dare set foot across it to retrieve him."
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"I'll see what I can do," she promised. "But Phillips isn't going to care about my recommendations, or anyone else's, really." The man was notorious for "by the book". "I've thought about you all day, James," she confessed softly, "and I really need you to kiss me again." Because God only knew when she'd have another taste, regardless of how slight, of him.
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"I'll kiss you any time you want, Natalia. Ya lyublyu tebya tak sil'no, Natalia."
That dictionary is working out all right but he's really, really going to have to get his hands on something so he can actually speak Russian to her when they're alone and not just play at it.
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Though she couldn't resist scattering kisses all over his face, his nose, his cheeks, his chin, the corners of his mouth. Breathing words she wasn't even aware of saying, only knowing that they were true. "...moy Dzheyms... moya sladkaya zvezda... moya sladkaya lyubov'..."
Then the intercom crackled again, Howard asking for a second set of files along with the first. Natalia groaned, dropping her forehead to Bucky's shoulder before regretfully beginning to pull away, her body already mourning his loss.
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He doesn't know if she'll take him up on it or not but he is tired. He tucks a pillow under his cheek and sleeps sitting up, heedless of how awful his neck is going to be after.
Maybe if he sleeps for the rest of the flight, Natalia won't be so goddamn tempting to him.
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A glance around proved most everyone else already asleep; Peggy and Steve had presumably abandoned work and were talking together softly up near the cockpit, but the other commandos had all leaned over and were grabbing what shut-eye they could before the flight's end. So Natalia carefully smoothed her skirt, set aside her folders and her clipboard, and, making sure her seatbelt was securely fastened, gently listed over to lean against James's right arm, letting her eyes drift closed, safe by his side.
...only to be woken a few hours later when the plane gave a violent shudder and suddenly slewed to the side; alarms began sounding and she heard Howard yell even from the security of the front cabin. The plane rocked, bright bursts of gunfire and light exploding out of the dark windows, and everyone began yammering in a mix of surprise, fear, and panic; she spied Rogers bolt out of his seat - unwisely, as it turned out, for the plane heaved again and sent him sliding down the center aisle. Peggy started after him, but another bright explosion threw her back into her own seat.
Rather than leap to her feet - especially when the aircraft was rocking back and forth like a drunken giant - Natalia remained in her seat, but wound her arm beneath Bucky's, clasping him tight and immediately lacing her fingers with his. "We've been hit," she intoned woodenly, eyes large and a little frightened. "We must be over occupied airspace, or..." Or the Allies hadn't recognized them. But Howard was a good pilot, she trusted him to get them through it.
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Natalia is clinging against him, though, so he focuses on keeping her protected with his body. He doesn't think it'll do any good if they are hit and are getting hit again but he can at least try.
"Hang on to me, doll. I've got you." He presses his lips against her ear and whispers as soft as he can manage. "S toboy nichego ne sluchitsya, Natalia."
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A white explosion went off right outside of the window where they sat, and she couldn't close her eyes fast enough as shattered her vision, and she gave an involuntary yelp, clinging to James in blind panic. The racking above them began to groan and give way; Dugan was suddenly there, holding up the duffels and other luggage that had been shaken loose. "Move it, Barnes!" the gruff soldier demanded. "Get her outta there before this entire bulkhead goes!"
Still blinded by the flash, Natalia put both arms around her soldier, trusting him to keep his whispered promise. "...James--?"
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"Moy Natalia," he murmurs. "It's all right. I've got you right here. Just let me hold you and breathe me in and everything is gonna be just fine, okay?"
He hopes so, anyway.
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"I can't see," Natalia whispered, a small note of fear creeping into her voice. She groped for him, finding his face and cupping his cheek. "James, I can't see." Her eyes roved back and forth; though she could feel and smell, and hear him, her vision was still nothing but black spots on a bright white background, stabbing pain into her head.
She heard Howard still yelling into the radio, felt the plane banking back and forth, but yelped again when they lost another thousand feet of altitude. "...James??" Then Howard's voice came crackling over the intercom.
"Hang on, folks! We've lost engine one but we're gonna land okay...as long as the gear holds but don't worry about that, I got it covered!" Phillips was swearing profusely in the background. "We're still...over France, so never fear! ...at least I think we are... Anyway! We're going down, so hang on to your hats, gents, we're gonna be fiiiinnnneee!"
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"Nothing's going to happen to you, lisichka," Bucky says softly. "Nothing will happen when you're with me. I can protect you, I promise." It's idle promises and he doesn't know if he can make them.
"Deep breaths, all right?"
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"Buck, I need you. We gotta get the cargo loose and drop it before we go down. Stark says if we don't, the weight'll unbalance the plane so we can't land clean. We gotta get it parachuted out the back hatch. The other guys are attaching the chutes now. We gotta hurry."
Natalia bit her lip, still clutching James's uniform strap. Her eyes were wide, but nothing focused. Agent Carter reached for her other hand, saying, "It's all right, Sergeant. I've got her. She'll be safe with me." She gave Bucky a firm nod, a glance at Steve, then back at Bucky. "Go, help the Captain."
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"How long do you think we'll get to get everything off loaded?" he asks, looking around at the wreckage around them. This isn't the ideal way to land because it's more like bailing out, really, but what's there to do?
Bucky moves to start attaching chutes to boxes, moving as efficiently as he can.
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The plane suddenly listed wildly to the left, and the acrid stench of gasoline smoke filled the cargo bay. “Shit!” Dugan yelled, clambering back to his feet. “This whole fucker’s gonna go down in flames!” And sure enough, with beautiful ironic timing, a glare of pale yellow and orange began to lick its way up the side of the walls on the left side of the hull.
“Blow the cargo!” Steve yelled, and one of the others slammed the hatch lock, the ramp screeching and tearing away with an awful sound of ripping metal. The sheer weight of the cargo was enough to help gravity slide it towards the gaping hole at the rear of the plane, and with almost exquisite sow motion, it began to slide, then to fall.
Out of the choking smoke, Colonel Phillips appeared, dragging with him a disheveled Agent Carter. “Everyone got their chutes?” he demanded, thrusting one on the protesting Peggy. “Good. Rogers, get your men and evacuate. Now.” They all stared at him. “That’s a goddamn order, Captain!” he roared.
“Sir, what about the civilians!” Steve demanded, incredulous.
“Stark’s on his own, insisted he could land this heap despite the engine failure. I’m not going down with him and sacrificing all of our lives for his ego.” Phillips glowered, clearly not enjoying this decision, but he had damn little choice. “Now get your asses outta that hatch! Now!”
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"We die, we die together," Bucky shouts, forcing his way back forward to cockpit to pull Natalia in his arms. If she's going to have to stay, so is he. Unfortunately, Phillips isn't in a giving mood and gives the order again before he bails out himself - Bucky has to follow orders whether he wants to or not. He glances back, worried, and then he jumps.
He's goddamn glad the chute works, at least, and he's little worse for the wear other than some shell-shock. It's Natalia he's worried about (and he guesses a little about Stark) so he looks back to see what he can do within orders.
"Sir? Permission to look for Stark and the civilians?"
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Steve finally trotted up, not even breathing hard. "Everyone's accounted fir, sir," he reported, clipping his shield on his back. "A couple of the men are a bit rattled, but that's not surprising." Dugan and the others appeared out of the snowstorm, shivering but alive and mobile.
"Anyone know where the fuck we are?"
"Gotta smoke?"
"Qu'est-ce qui vient de se passer?"
"Did anyone happen to see what became of the plane?"
That was Peggy, marching up and looking like a Valkyrie; mussed, disheveled, but absolutely in control and expecting an answer forthwith. "Captain Rogers, Colonel, I believe we're perhaps four leagues inside the French border, and there should be a town just over that ridge. Shall we?"
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Bucky mechanically goes about picking up what's been dropped because they have to get this tech out of enemy sight and away from any plane crashes within (or without, really) Nazi Germany. Focusing on that helps him not thinking about how terrified Natalia must be if she's even still alive and he tells himself that it's the sting of snow pricking at his eyes instead of tears.
When Agent Carter addresses Steve and the Colonel, Bucky wants to go. He manages to wrench the words out in a way that sound like asking permission - and looks at Phillips expectantly for an answer.
"Should I go with you or do I have other orders, sir?"
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Steve nodded, not missing the anguish written all over his best friend's face, clear as day to him, perhaps not so to the others. Although he had his doubts when he saw Peggy pass by Bucky, place a hand on his arm, and whisper, "She'll be all right," before moving to pick up her own satchel.
"C'mon, guys," Steve said, calling out to Morita and the Frenchman, "let's get moving. Gotta lotta ground to cover, and the weather isn't making it easier."
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He still feels like his boots are heavier with every step and by the time they get to the little town, he's pretty damn desperate for some news of this plane crashing and whether or not Natalia will be all right. Dernier is there to translate for them, sure, but Bucky strains his ears as well in hopes that he hears something positive; his French isn't any better than it ever was, though, and he's been studying Russian more lately.
"Steve, what do we do if we can't find them?" he asks, voice pitched low. "I'm not just worried about my girl. I'm worried about Stark and his brain, too."
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Agent Carter managed to procure a few cold-running trucks, and brought the news back to Steve and Bucky. "Well, they're not Cadillacs, unfortunately, but they've a decent steering system and a large cargo area, so we should be able to transport all of Stark's equipment." She handed a set of keys each to the men.
"Here. You three get back to Phillips and the others, and I'll have accommodations available by the time you return. As well as any news of our pilot and the others, I promise. And," she added, serious, "be careful. There've been sightings of German patrols in this area."
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Steve gives him a sharp look and he heads out, keys in hand. He has to keep moving. He knows Steve wouldn't pack it in if Agent Carter was missing but he has to wonder if it's even the same. Agent Carter is trained in marksmanship and combat. She could fight her way out of a tight spot, if she needed to, and Natalia seems fragile in contrast. Besides, she'd been so terrified when he left her...what must she be feeling now?
It doesn't matter. He drives back to Phillips with the truck the way he's supposed to and doesn't stop off on the way, though he does have to exchange fire with a German patrol and kill their scouts. They have gear and he dutifully pulls it off them, trying to see if it's anything worth salvaging or if it's standard issue. When he's back to Phillips, the others are already there.
"Sorry. Got stopped by a patrol, had to take them out before they said anything. Think we're in the clear."
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"Buck, you okay?"
Steve knew the answer, of course, but he needed to hear Bucky say it. There was more to this than just "making a pass". He'd never seen Bucky act this way regarding a dame; his best friend was a good guy, to be sure, but never one to settle down with one girl for too long, for whatever reason.
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Steve is more than a rank and file soldier, though, and Bucky imagines there's little he could do that would get him kicked to the curb. He's a super soldier, America's weapon against Nazi Germany. Bucky is just a regular guy who got drafted with all the rest.
"No use talking about it. She was terrified and I promised her I wouldn't leave. Then I left her."
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"You didn't have a choice," Steve also reminded him. "Some orders are harder to follow than others, I know, but that's our job. It's rough, but we gotta do it."
Then Dugan whistled, calling out for them to get their asses in a truck before they got left out here in the shitty weather and had to walk back, again.
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He doesn't know that she only uses Natalie out in public and uses her real name with him. He doesn't know that Natalia wraps herself up in his arms at night and whispers moya zvezda as if he's something to set up in the sky and guide her home. Steve doesn't know about the night they'd spent at their place, frantic and fleeting, and he definitely doesn't know about the ruined dinner or the walk in the rain or him saying he loved her before any man in his right mind would say something like that.
Bucky isn't sure if Natalia loves him or not. She's fond of him, absolutely, but they haven't been together long enough to love. He loves because his brain's been all twisted up by her but he doesn't know if it's quite that strong on her side. He wishes he could have heard it once before losing her forever.
"You look like you're burying her and we haven't looked," Steve points out. Bucky cuts him a sharp look and keeps quiet, turning up the collar of his coat to ostensibly block the wind and his expression from everyone else. When they get back into the village and find Agent Carter, Steve takes the lead asking questions.
"Any idea where our plane might be, Agent Carter?"
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She lowered her voice further, adding, "We're in Rosenau, next to the river. Fischingen is about twenty-three kilometers inside occupied Germany, and there's an enemy garrison encamped just outside the town. If Stark's alive, we can hope his money and influence will get him back across the border, but we don't dare set foot across it to retrieve him."
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