Bucky nods. He's not going to let anything happen to Natalia under his care and he gently guides her back to the room he's decided they're going to share. It outs them to everyone but he imagines that had already been evident, considering his concern for her, and he doesn't really care. He cares about her. He settles her on the bed before going to the bathroom on this floor.
He goes and gets a washcloth and a basin with warm water to help and clean her and once he's back in the room, he shuts the door and locks it. "I'm going to clean you up a little, lisichka. Tell me if anything hurts."
Bucky puts the basin on the little night table and starts unbuttoning her shirt, careful as he pulls it away. "When you're washed off, I have some of my clothes you can wear. I thought that might make you feel better."
Her clothes felt disgusting, stained with dirt, snow, and blood as they were. She didn't protest as James began to undress her, even helping him by sliding her arms out of her blouse and tossing it aside. Natalia just nodded to everything he said, trying to corral her shivering and remain upright on the edge of the bed. The blood on her hands had dried to a dull brown, dark smears that made her stomach lurch just to look at.
She'd lost her shoes somewhere back in the German forest, and her feet were sported small cuts and scratches from their numb trek; she thought she might even have frostbite in a few toes. But she accepted the warm cloth gratefully, almost burrowing into it wherever it touched. The room had spavined heating, and being naked and damp wasn't exactly pleasant, but she wanted to get clean more than anything at all.
Her teeth finally stopped chattering long enough for her to speak, although her voice was cracked, rough. "...i-it all h-hurts, J-James."
The sound of gunfire echoed in her ears, coupled with the screams of dying men, and her knees suddenly went weak, and she whimpered in pain as she crumpled, her shaking beginning all over again.
"I know, darlin', I know," Bucky says. He keeps bathing her off, getting her clean, and once he has he gets a soft towel and dries her off as gently as he can. He's got some of his personal clothes along with army issue and he has a set of his own flannel pajamas from back home. He rarely wears them unless it's damned cold in winter but he's glad he's brought them.
It's a little awkward to dress her but he manages and he hopes he hasn't jostled her hurts too much. When she's dressed, he stands and shucks his uniform, leaving it on the floor, and slides behind her in the bed so she can lay against his bare chest.
"You have to stay awake for a little while and I know that's hard," he murmurs. "But I'm right here and I'm going to take care of you."
Natalia let James dress her without complaint; the fabric was wonderfully comfortable against her abused skin. Then he was tucking her into bed before shucking his own bedraggled clothing, and she shivered in bliss this time when he slid into bed behind her.
She wanted to turn around in his arms and cuddle close, but settled for his arms coming around her, pulling her back against his wonderfully solid chest instead. Putting her arms over his, she angled her head to fit it beneath his chin, breathing him in deep.
"...I have a concussion, don't I." More of a statement than a question. She'd dimly heard the nurse say something along those lines, but her wits had still been a little scattered during the examination. "...won't you get in trouble with Colonel Phillips, for being in here with me?"
"You have a concussion and I don't care what Colonel Phillips wants," Bucky says softly. "I have to keep you awake for a couple hours, lisichka, but then I'll let you sleep. I just want to make sure you're all right before I let you fall asleep on me."
Bucky keeps stroking her skin wherever he can touch it, soft touches against her face and neck and along her hands. He'd wanted her to be warm so she's wearing long sleeves but he wishes he could brush his fingertips all over her soft, pale skin and make her feel real to him again.
"I'm all yours tonight. Door's locked and everything I have is for you. Nobody is going to bother us and if they do, I'll shoot them."
She sighed, disconsolate, at the verification that she did, indeed, have a concussion. The headache certainly made it seem so. And she could feel the pull of lethargy, sucking at her like quicksand, wanting her to dive beneath its slumber and just rest in his arms. The brushes of rough fingertips over her exposed skin wasn't helping her stay awake, either. But at least they brought warmth, so she nestled closer and closed her eyes, just trying to breathe without panicking.
"...I killed them," Natalia suddenly heard herself say. "All of them." Five German soldiers. "They were going to find us, they were going to capture us and take us back and interrogate us and they'd have sold Howard off to the highest bidder and used Jarvis for their sick games and-and-" She suddenly bit her tongue, digging her fingernails into Bucky's forearms as she tried not to hyperventilate.
Trained though she might be, hardened to the world as she was, there was nevertheless something unsettling about purposeful murder, and the shock of recent events was taking its toll.
"You were brave," Bucky says. "You did something I couldn't even do and I don't know how the hell you did it. You're a strong woman, that's all, and you take care of yourself. You did what you needed to do to protect yourself and the people you cared about. There's nothing wrong with that."
Bucky thinks he'd have killed five times more Germans to get to Natalia if he had to. He kisses her neck, more comfort than trying to start anything, and leaves his lips there when he speaks again. His voice is low to keep from bothering her headache and right now he feels painfully intimate with her.
"They all know you're mine," he murmurs. "And that'd I'd do anything to keep you safe. I'm sorry if you wanted to keep it hidden but there was nothing keeping me from saving you, sweetheart. Nothing would keep me from you. Just breathe with me for a little while, all right?"
She let his words wash over her; not so much as what he actually said, but more the sound of his voice, the rumble of it down in his chest, that more than anything was what soothed her, helped to bring her back from that manic edge of fear. Natalia knew exactly how she'd done it - she'd let go and let her muscles take over, let her years of training transform her from a pretty legal secretary to a black widow spider, beautiful and deadly.
And she was his. It was surely no secret any longer, not with the way he'd come for her, cared for her, risked his entire military career for her. And if she were again honest with herself, being his girl didn't really seem like all that bad of a thing. It would help cement her cover, to be sure, and would also keep her in relatively close proximity to Captain Rogers and his elite unit.
Although privately, she admitted that being James Barnes' girl was just...something she wanted for herself.
It took a bit of doing, and she was again exhausted by the time she managed it, but Natalia slowly wiggled around in Bucky's arms, slid her own around his waist, and leaned up to press a shaky kiss to his soft, warm lips, inhaling his breath as she rested against him.
"Moya zvezda," she whispered, kissing him again, soft. "...thank you. ...for coming for me."
"There was no other option," Bucky promises her. He kisses her again, the softest and sweetest he can manage. He wants to wrap her up and never let her go right now and he's glad she's safe with him but she's not out of the woods quite yet. He's still having to be gentle with her and mind the concussion.
"Don't wear yourself out. There's...I've got an extra set since I'm in the Commandos now," Bucky explains. "So I want you to have these." He slips one hand up to pull off his tags and slides them over her head gently. "I want you to know I'm always with you even if I'm not right here in your arms."
He's aiming to get assigned to Stark so he can protect her and he thinks Stark and Jarvis will put in a word for him considering he'd saved them, too, so he likes his chances. He needs this assignment, needs to be close to Natalia so he can see her and touch her and remind himself that she's his.
The slight weight of the metal, and its cool kiss against her skin had her eyes misting over again, and she was just too exhausted to try and hold back the tears this time. She wanted to hit him, or something, for being just so goddamned good, down in his tender heart, because she knew she wasn't worth even an ounce of affection from this wonderful man. But she refrained, settling for just tucking her head beneath his chin and sobbing silently against his chest.
When she could finally manage words again, Natalia lifted her head, gazed right into those lovely blue eyes staring down at her, and smiled sadly. "Why are you here with me, James Barnes? Why is your heart so good? What did I ever do to deserve someone like you?" The first two she couldn't answer, couldn't even fathom the reason. The last question, however, she did know: nothing. She'd done absolutely nothing to deserve lying here with this man, to be the caretaker of his huge, gentle heart.
"One, because I love you. Two, because I love you. And you're probably tired of this answer but three, because I love you," Bucky says, fingertips drifting lightly through her hair. All his dreams are colored with scarlet now, scarlet and snow. He wants to take care of her and bring her home with him at the end of this war. He wants to propose to her and buy her a house, have kids, be happy.
"The red hair doesn't hurt, though. I've always had my head turned by redhaired dames," he teases, flashing her a smile. "But I'd love you regardless. You're my Natalia. Moya lisichka.Lyubov' vsey moyey zhizni. I haven't figured out anything else to say. I just learned all the mushy stuff first and then I figured I'd move on to the filthy curse words. Isn't that how you learn a language?"
The words in her own tongue brought soft color to her cheeks, creeping down to stain her neck and throat. His teasing was a soft balm to her fractured nerves, and she giggled right along with him, willing herself to just rest, be light. Comfortable in his arms.
"It doesn't hurt," she agreed, kissing the tip of his nose. "Shall I help you with that? I have to stay awake somehow, don't I?" Even though she was so tired. So she began listing things off in Russian, starting with easy words and correcting his pronunciation as they went along. Some of his responses were truly hilarious, prompting her light laughter, and they shared soft, easy kisses between lessons.
They were warm together, nestled beneath the layers of blankets. Somehow, James's hands had found their way beneath the flannel shirt and gently stroked her bare skin, and she'd at some point wiggled her way out of the bottoms, and her now-bare leg rested high over his hip, her chilly toes tucked between his knees. Russian words and phrases had since given way to soft, gentle kisses and nuzzles, the slow burn of passion ever-present between them.
As the snowstorm intensified beyond the frosted windows, Natalia slowly opened her eyes as they parted, her lips kiss-bruised and still parted, gazed at her beautiful lover with soft, soft eyes, and whispered into the breath between them, "...James...I think...I think that I love you..." The flush of her cheeks added sincerity to her words, and she worried her lower lip between her teeth, suddenly shy.
The kisses are a balm for him as much for her, in a way, because it cements that she's alive and real in his arms. He's happy to try and learn Russian between snaking his fingers toward more and more hidden places against her skin. It's nice, this intimacy without the rush to sex. He can't be with her in any way but this soft, sweet way just now and he loves it, loves everything about her. When she whispers she loves him, though, he feels his heart skip a beat.
"You love me?" he asks, surprise and elation lacing through his voice. He doesn't want to be ecstatic and hug her in a way that hurts her but hearing it makes him want to jump onto the rooftop and announce he's in love to everyone even if they don't want to know (and, probably, they don't.) "I didn't...I know I fell too fast, doll. I know I did. It feels right, though, and it doesn't feel like something I rushed into because of the war. Hearing it from you just makes it feel more right."
He kisses her, soft and slow. "I love you. I know it hasn't been long and I know we're in a war but I love you and I don't want to waste any of our time. I'm willing to be as private as you want but...you're my girl, all right? It's official."
She nodded, suddenly lightheaded and she didn't think it was from the head injury. "Da. I'm your girl." No matter what, she added silently. The thought of being without him, even for a moment, was almost physically painful. To cement that he was real and in her arms right now, she wrapped her arms around his neck, tugging him over even as she slipped beneath him. His weight was solid, a tangible comfort, and Natalia molded her softness to his hard planes, nestling his body against hers in all the right places.
"...I think...I think so." Natalia rested her cheek against his when they parted after the long kiss that followed. "I've never...felt this way about anyone before, James. It feels like...home, when we're together. Does that make any sense at all, or am I just lightheaded?" She'd never known what home felt like, but if it was anything like the longing she felt when he was away from her, or the wonderful ease she felt when he was near, then she could understand why people would give everything and anything for it.
"It's crazy," she admitted after a moment. "This thing, between us. But I want it. I want you. I don't usually...I mean, I always have a plan, for everything, but I never saw this coming, James. Never saw you coming..." Her lashes drifted closed, and she sighed softly, hugging him close, so tired.
"Didn't see you coming either, malen'kaya lisitsa," Bucky says, laughing softly. "And you know I shouldn't be on top of you right now, you're all banged up." He shifts a bit so his weight isn't on her but slips his thigh between hers and keeps his arms around her.
"I think it's been long enough that you can sleep. We're getting assignments tomorrow, so I can let you know what they're doing with me. Hoping I get attached here with Stark for the most part but when we're doing strikes on important targets, I'm gonna have to ship out. They won't have a sniper without me."
He knows it's war and it's understandable but he still doesn't want to leave her. "I'm going to write you, though, and you'll see me in the reels. I'll smile for you and you'll know I'm thinking about you."
Murring in protest when he shifted, Natalia nevertheless kept her arms around him, the leg about his hip tightening to keep him exactly where he was. They were tangled up beneath the covers, and she'd never felt more secure. It was certainly addicting, this feeling of safety. She found that she wanted to keep it forever. Or as long as she possibly could.
Natalia drifted off while Bucky was still speaking, and she was so exhausted that she slept deeply, unmoving, until almost two hours before dawn. Everything hurt when she woke, and she grimaced before even opening her eyes. But at least she was warm, comfortable, and wrapped in a pair of strong, supportive arms, and a slight shift granted her the sight of her beloved's handsome face, his eyes closed and his breathing soft and regular.
She didn't want to wake him, but she couldn't resist inching up to press a soft kiss to those sweet lips, then another, then another. This time, she knew her light head wasn't because of her injuries, but rather the taste of this man's glorious mouth, and Natalia wanted more.
"...moya zvezda," she whispered against his cheek. "...mmm, good morning..."
"Mmm, good morning. You feeling any better?" Bucky hopes so because he'd fretted over her the night before and he doesn't want her to hurt. He wants everything to be good with them - no pain, no sadness. It's early days though and he knows that any relationships have ups and downs.
"Feeling better enough to kiss me, anyway, so there's that. It's a damn good way to wake up, doll."
It feels different to tease with her now, knowing she has the deep feelings under it the same as he does. Before, he'd hated when the teasing felt like a deflection from his own feelings and love for her but now it's just a different aspect of it, a fun part of their relationship rather than a place to hide when whispered confessions were too heavy.
"Much," Natalia whispered back. She still twinged in places, and her contusions throbbed painfully, but she'd endured worse hurts than these, much, much worse. And nothing was going to keep her from sharing this small slice of time with her handsome soldier, her savior, her sweet lover.
"I love kissing you," she admitted, doing so again. "Your lips are so...so soft, James. And your mouth is very sweet..." She gave a soft moan into their slow kisses, feeling her skin begin to flush as heat spread beneath it. "...and your hands..." she went on, squirming slightly in his grasp. "...they feel so good on my skin...like I can never get enough of your touch, moya zvezda.. And I never want to."
The flannel shirt was starting to feel rough and hot against her skin, and Natalia pressed her head back into the pillows, offering the pale slope of her throat for him, even as she wound her leg around his hip once again, wanting him pressed tight against her. She didn't plan on letting him go. Not this time.
Natalia has so many bruises right now that Bucky doesn't hesitate to suck a dark mark against her neck as he unbuttons her shirt. He needs his hands on her bare skin so he can take inventory of all the parts of her he loves and once he's got it undone, he palms one of her breasts, cupping it and teasing the nipple with his fingers while he moves his mouth lower and lower. He couldn't have sex with her last night and he probably shouldn't right now but he feels like if he can't get his mouth on her cunt he's going to die.
"You tell me if you're not up for it," he rasps against the slope of her breast, moving his lips over carefully so he can suck and tease at her nipple. Even if he can just manage this with her, that's fine. It'll be enough for him. He rubs himself against her slim thigh, trying to get some relief from the erection he already has, and he tips his head up just enough so he can meet her eyes with his own.
"Wanna make you come," he says, a crooked grin on his face. "Sometimes I just want to wake you up with my mouth down there and I have to hold back so you're just gonna have to let me do it now. Please?"
"--I want it," she managed to gasp, squirming in his grasp. "I want you." But she bit off a strangled moan when his mouth closed over her skin, the tight suction of his lips making her toes curl. Her back arched when he palmed her breasts, bringing her nearly up off of the bed. Natalia had no idea why she'd woken up this morning aching for him, but now that he was awake and giving her exactly what she wanted, there was no stopping it now.
She parted her thighs, cradling his lean frame between them, feeling him already hot and hard against her tender skin. He still wore his shorts, however, but the friction from the fabric was a delicious tease. The grin on his lovely face and the barely-restrained desire in those eyes had her breath coming faster, breasts heaving as she panted, burning up beneath her skin.
"Da," she whispered, ragged. And licked her full lips eagerly. "But only if you finish inside me, malyutka, because I need you...so very much.." She was already wet, soaked and hot just for him, and even though her entire body throbbed like a sore tooth, it was nothing when compared with the pain of longing that curled down in her loins, desperate for him.
"Not gonna come anywhere else, I promise." To that end, he stops grinding his hips against the bed for relief and focuses on spreading Natalia's legs to shift them over his shoulders. He gently slides his fingers against her, parting her, and he keeps them light and teasing for several strokes before looking up at her and deliberately sucking the taste of her off them while she can see him.
"Best thing I've ever had in my mouth, I think," Bucky says, grinning. He dips his head and starts kissing and licking her in earnest, tongue dragging against wet folds and making lazy circles around her clit. She seems to like it when he gets his fingers in her, too, so he teases one in as he sucks her clit hard.
It's something he thinks he could do for the rest of his life, make love to this woman, and he thinks if anyone knocks on their door right now he'll sock them in the face. He's busy.
Her belly shivered in sweet anticipation when Bucky slithered down the length of her body, spread her legs wide, and wedged his shoulders beneath her knees. Natalia bit her lip when gentle fingers stroked her, hips gently rolling invitingly, though she squirmed and whined at his devilish teasing, the cheeky bastard. But when that dark head descended between her thighs, she mewled and rolled up off of the bed, trembling and so near to pleading she had to bite the inside of her cheek.
A thick finger worked its way into her, probing into the slick, squeezing flesh, and Natalia clutched at the pillows beneath her, giving voice to a desperate keen, his name mingled somewhere within her lustful, eager sounds. She wound a leg around his arm, grasping at him, needing him to drive her even higher so she could tumble off of that high cliff and fall apart beneath him.
But Bucky seemed determined to torture her with such sweet tenderness, and it wasn't too long before she was writhing across the sheets, gasping his name amid begging for more and for him. The sight of his head working between her legs, lashes feathered across flushed cheeks, the slight rasp of his stubbled jaw against tender, tender skin, had her shuddering, quaking, and then coming completely unraveled as she strained upwards and clenched tight around his fingers, milking them as hard as she possibly could.
Natalia is so beautiful when she comes. Bucky thinks he could watch her for the rest of his life and never get tired of it, never get tired of the flush of her cheeks or the soft, sweet noises she makes. She's his and there's no one who can keep them apart. No one. Not the war, not his CO, not anything.
He lays a kiss on her stomach, messy and slick, and draws his fingers away. He pillow his head on her thigh for a moment and tries to get himself together because getting her off always gets him so high he damn near comes without even being touched. When he thinks he can manage without going off with a single touch, he moves to lay alongside her, pulling her against him so her back is against his chest. He pushes her leg forward just a bit and rocks his hips against her, letting her feel just the tip of his cock.
"Tell me if I'm hurting you," he murmurs against her ear. "I don't want to put my weight on you right now but I need to be in you. I'll be easy, lisichka, I promise."
She could hardly lift her head from the pillow. Small tremors of sheer pleasure skittered through her, making her boneless, replete. Natalia didn't protest as James maneuvered her around in the bed, sidling up behind her and nestling firm against her backside. She was still so slick and sensitive from her climax that she hissed a breath when she felt him nudging exactly where she wanted him, and she arched her back and drove her hips back into his, lifting her leg to let him slide right inside.
"...no, never," she breathed, lolling her head forward, scarlet scattering across their rumpled pillows. He could never hurt her. If anything, she craved the rougher touch, and a little bit of pain went a long way towards magnifying pleasure. But she understood; with her bruises and scrapes, he didn't want to aggravate them any further. Still, she needed him inside her. Now.
So Natalia reached behind her, gripped Bucky's hip with the sharp press of nails, and pulled him forward, moaning in an obscenely wrecked voice as he penetrated her more, and she closed tight around him, silently begging. "Give it to me," she breathed over her shoulder, rubbing her cheek against his mouth. "I want you so much, moya zvezda."
It's more desperate than he expected, with her injuries, and when he withdraws and pushes back in it's with much more force than before. Bucky hasn't ever really had any sort of rough sex or forceful sex so the idea of it is a little foreign but if she wants more, he'll give her more.
He bites her shoulder where her top will cover, leaving a dark bruise that he knows she'll wear for a few days. It's possessive but he likes the idea of her being marked up for him, knowing she belongs to him, and after nearly losing her he needs to know that she's his.
He pulls out and pushes back in again, harder than before, and whispers against her ear. "When it's too much, tell me."
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He goes and gets a washcloth and a basin with warm water to help and clean her and once he's back in the room, he shuts the door and locks it. "I'm going to clean you up a little, lisichka. Tell me if anything hurts."
Bucky puts the basin on the little night table and starts unbuttoning her shirt, careful as he pulls it away. "When you're washed off, I have some of my clothes you can wear. I thought that might make you feel better."
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She'd lost her shoes somewhere back in the German forest, and her feet were sported small cuts and scratches from their numb trek; she thought she might even have frostbite in a few toes. But she accepted the warm cloth gratefully, almost burrowing into it wherever it touched. The room had spavined heating, and being naked and damp wasn't exactly pleasant, but she wanted to get clean more than anything at all.
Her teeth finally stopped chattering long enough for her to speak, although her voice was cracked, rough. "...i-it all h-hurts, J-James."
The sound of gunfire echoed in her ears, coupled with the screams of dying men, and her knees suddenly went weak, and she whimpered in pain as she crumpled, her shaking beginning all over again.
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It's a little awkward to dress her but he manages and he hopes he hasn't jostled her hurts too much. When she's dressed, he stands and shucks his uniform, leaving it on the floor, and slides behind her in the bed so she can lay against his bare chest.
"You have to stay awake for a little while and I know that's hard," he murmurs. "But I'm right here and I'm going to take care of you."
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She wanted to turn around in his arms and cuddle close, but settled for his arms coming around her, pulling her back against his wonderfully solid chest instead. Putting her arms over his, she angled her head to fit it beneath his chin, breathing him in deep.
"...I have a concussion, don't I." More of a statement than a question. She'd dimly heard the nurse say something along those lines, but her wits had still been a little scattered during the examination. "...won't you get in trouble with Colonel Phillips, for being in here with me?"
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Bucky keeps stroking her skin wherever he can touch it, soft touches against her face and neck and along her hands. He'd wanted her to be warm so she's wearing long sleeves but he wishes he could brush his fingertips all over her soft, pale skin and make her feel real to him again.
"I'm all yours tonight. Door's locked and everything I have is for you. Nobody is going to bother us and if they do, I'll shoot them."
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"...I killed them," Natalia suddenly heard herself say. "All of them." Five German soldiers. "They were going to find us, they were going to capture us and take us back and interrogate us and they'd have sold Howard off to the highest bidder and used Jarvis for their sick games and-and-" She suddenly bit her tongue, digging her fingernails into Bucky's forearms as she tried not to hyperventilate.
Trained though she might be, hardened to the world as she was, there was nevertheless something unsettling about purposeful murder, and the shock of recent events was taking its toll.
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Bucky thinks he'd have killed five times more Germans to get to Natalia if he had to. He kisses her neck, more comfort than trying to start anything, and leaves his lips there when he speaks again. His voice is low to keep from bothering her headache and right now he feels painfully intimate with her.
"They all know you're mine," he murmurs. "And that'd I'd do anything to keep you safe. I'm sorry if you wanted to keep it hidden but there was nothing keeping me from saving you, sweetheart. Nothing would keep me from you. Just breathe with me for a little while, all right?"
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And she was his. It was surely no secret any longer, not with the way he'd come for her, cared for her, risked his entire military career for her. And if she were again honest with herself, being his girl didn't really seem like all that bad of a thing. It would help cement her cover, to be sure, and would also keep her in relatively close proximity to Captain Rogers and his elite unit.
Although privately, she admitted that being James Barnes' girl was just...something she wanted for herself.
It took a bit of doing, and she was again exhausted by the time she managed it, but Natalia slowly wiggled around in Bucky's arms, slid her own around his waist, and leaned up to press a shaky kiss to his soft, warm lips, inhaling his breath as she rested against him.
"Moya zvezda," she whispered, kissing him again, soft. "...thank you. ...for coming for me."
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"Don't wear yourself out. There's...I've got an extra set since I'm in the Commandos now," Bucky explains. "So I want you to have these." He slips one hand up to pull off his tags and slides them over her head gently. "I want you to know I'm always with you even if I'm not right here in your arms."
He's aiming to get assigned to Stark so he can protect her and he thinks Stark and Jarvis will put in a word for him considering he'd saved them, too, so he likes his chances. He needs this assignment, needs to be close to Natalia so he can see her and touch her and remind himself that she's his.
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When she could finally manage words again, Natalia lifted her head, gazed right into those lovely blue eyes staring down at her, and smiled sadly. "Why are you here with me, James Barnes? Why is your heart so good? What did I ever do to deserve someone like you?" The first two she couldn't answer, couldn't even fathom the reason. The last question, however, she did know: nothing. She'd done absolutely nothing to deserve lying here with this man, to be the caretaker of his huge, gentle heart.
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"The red hair doesn't hurt, though. I've always had my head turned by redhaired dames," he teases, flashing her a smile. "But I'd love you regardless. You're my Natalia. Moya lisichka. Lyubov' vsey moyey zhizni. I haven't figured out anything else to say. I just learned all the mushy stuff first and then I figured I'd move on to the filthy curse words. Isn't that how you learn a language?"
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"It doesn't hurt," she agreed, kissing the tip of his nose. "Shall I help you with that? I have to stay awake somehow, don't I?" Even though she was so tired. So she began listing things off in Russian, starting with easy words and correcting his pronunciation as they went along. Some of his responses were truly hilarious, prompting her light laughter, and they shared soft, easy kisses between lessons.
They were warm together, nestled beneath the layers of blankets. Somehow, James's hands had found their way beneath the flannel shirt and gently stroked her bare skin, and she'd at some point wiggled her way out of the bottoms, and her now-bare leg rested high over his hip, her chilly toes tucked between his knees. Russian words and phrases had since given way to soft, gentle kisses and nuzzles, the slow burn of passion ever-present between them.
As the snowstorm intensified beyond the frosted windows, Natalia slowly opened her eyes as they parted, her lips kiss-bruised and still parted, gazed at her beautiful lover with soft, soft eyes, and whispered into the breath between them, "...James...I think...I think that I love you..." The flush of her cheeks added sincerity to her words, and she worried her lower lip between her teeth, suddenly shy.
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"You love me?" he asks, surprise and elation lacing through his voice. He doesn't want to be ecstatic and hug her in a way that hurts her but hearing it makes him want to jump onto the rooftop and announce he's in love to everyone even if they don't want to know (and, probably, they don't.) "I didn't...I know I fell too fast, doll. I know I did. It feels right, though, and it doesn't feel like something I rushed into because of the war. Hearing it from you just makes it feel more right."
He kisses her, soft and slow. "I love you. I know it hasn't been long and I know we're in a war but I love you and I don't want to waste any of our time. I'm willing to be as private as you want but...you're my girl, all right? It's official."
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"...I think...I think so." Natalia rested her cheek against his when they parted after the long kiss that followed. "I've never...felt this way about anyone before, James. It feels like...home, when we're together. Does that make any sense at all, or am I just lightheaded?" She'd never known what home felt like, but if it was anything like the longing she felt when he was away from her, or the wonderful ease she felt when he was near, then she could understand why people would give everything and anything for it.
"It's crazy," she admitted after a moment. "This thing, between us. But I want it. I want you. I don't usually...I mean, I always have a plan, for everything, but I never saw this coming, James. Never saw you coming..." Her lashes drifted closed, and she sighed softly, hugging him close, so tired.
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"I think it's been long enough that you can sleep. We're getting assignments tomorrow, so I can let you know what they're doing with me. Hoping I get attached here with Stark for the most part but when we're doing strikes on important targets, I'm gonna have to ship out. They won't have a sniper without me."
He knows it's war and it's understandable but he still doesn't want to leave her. "I'm going to write you, though, and you'll see me in the reels. I'll smile for you and you'll know I'm thinking about you."
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Natalia drifted off while Bucky was still speaking, and she was so exhausted that she slept deeply, unmoving, until almost two hours before dawn. Everything hurt when she woke, and she grimaced before even opening her eyes. But at least she was warm, comfortable, and wrapped in a pair of strong, supportive arms, and a slight shift granted her the sight of her beloved's handsome face, his eyes closed and his breathing soft and regular.
She didn't want to wake him, but she couldn't resist inching up to press a soft kiss to those sweet lips, then another, then another. This time, she knew her light head wasn't because of her injuries, but rather the taste of this man's glorious mouth, and Natalia wanted more.
"...moya zvezda," she whispered against his cheek. "...mmm, good morning..."
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"Feeling better enough to kiss me, anyway, so there's that. It's a damn good way to wake up, doll."
It feels different to tease with her now, knowing she has the deep feelings under it the same as he does. Before, he'd hated when the teasing felt like a deflection from his own feelings and love for her but now it's just a different aspect of it, a fun part of their relationship rather than a place to hide when whispered confessions were too heavy.
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"I love kissing you," she admitted, doing so again. "Your lips are so...so soft, James. And your mouth is very sweet..." She gave a soft moan into their slow kisses, feeling her skin begin to flush as heat spread beneath it. "...and your hands..." she went on, squirming slightly in his grasp. "...they feel so good on my skin...like I can never get enough of your touch, moya zvezda.. And I never want to."
The flannel shirt was starting to feel rough and hot against her skin, and Natalia pressed her head back into the pillows, offering the pale slope of her throat for him, even as she wound her leg around his hip once again, wanting him pressed tight against her. She didn't plan on letting him go. Not this time.
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"You tell me if you're not up for it," he rasps against the slope of her breast, moving his lips over carefully so he can suck and tease at her nipple. Even if he can just manage this with her, that's fine. It'll be enough for him. He rubs himself against her slim thigh, trying to get some relief from the erection he already has, and he tips his head up just enough so he can meet her eyes with his own.
"Wanna make you come," he says, a crooked grin on his face. "Sometimes I just want to wake you up with my mouth down there and I have to hold back so you're just gonna have to let me do it now. Please?"
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She parted her thighs, cradling his lean frame between them, feeling him already hot and hard against her tender skin. He still wore his shorts, however, but the friction from the fabric was a delicious tease. The grin on his lovely face and the barely-restrained desire in those eyes had her breath coming faster, breasts heaving as she panted, burning up beneath her skin.
"Da," she whispered, ragged. And licked her full lips eagerly. "But only if you finish inside me, malyutka, because I need you...so very much.." She was already wet, soaked and hot just for him, and even though her entire body throbbed like a sore tooth, it was nothing when compared with the pain of longing that curled down in her loins, desperate for him.
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"Best thing I've ever had in my mouth, I think," Bucky says, grinning. He dips his head and starts kissing and licking her in earnest, tongue dragging against wet folds and making lazy circles around her clit. She seems to like it when he gets his fingers in her, too, so he teases one in as he sucks her clit hard.
It's something he thinks he could do for the rest of his life, make love to this woman, and he thinks if anyone knocks on their door right now he'll sock them in the face. He's busy.
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A thick finger worked its way into her, probing into the slick, squeezing flesh, and Natalia clutched at the pillows beneath her, giving voice to a desperate keen, his name mingled somewhere within her lustful, eager sounds. She wound a leg around his arm, grasping at him, needing him to drive her even higher so she could tumble off of that high cliff and fall apart beneath him.
But Bucky seemed determined to torture her with such sweet tenderness, and it wasn't too long before she was writhing across the sheets, gasping his name amid begging for more and for him. The sight of his head working between her legs, lashes feathered across flushed cheeks, the slight rasp of his stubbled jaw against tender, tender skin, had her shuddering, quaking, and then coming completely unraveled as she strained upwards and clenched tight around his fingers, milking them as hard as she possibly could.
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He lays a kiss on her stomach, messy and slick, and draws his fingers away. He pillow his head on her thigh for a moment and tries to get himself together because getting her off always gets him so high he damn near comes without even being touched. When he thinks he can manage without going off with a single touch, he moves to lay alongside her, pulling her against him so her back is against his chest. He pushes her leg forward just a bit and rocks his hips against her, letting her feel just the tip of his cock.
"Tell me if I'm hurting you," he murmurs against her ear. "I don't want to put my weight on you right now but I need to be in you. I'll be easy, lisichka, I promise."
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"...no, never," she breathed, lolling her head forward, scarlet scattering across their rumpled pillows. He could never hurt her. If anything, she craved the rougher touch, and a little bit of pain went a long way towards magnifying pleasure. But she understood; with her bruises and scrapes, he didn't want to aggravate them any further. Still, she needed him inside her. Now.
So Natalia reached behind her, gripped Bucky's hip with the sharp press of nails, and pulled him forward, moaning in an obscenely wrecked voice as he penetrated her more, and she closed tight around him, silently begging. "Give it to me," she breathed over her shoulder, rubbing her cheek against his mouth. "I want you so much, moya zvezda."
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He bites her shoulder where her top will cover, leaving a dark bruise that he knows she'll wear for a few days. It's possessive but he likes the idea of her being marked up for him, knowing she belongs to him, and after nearly losing her he needs to know that she's his.
He pulls out and pushes back in again, harder than before, and whispers against her ear. "When it's too much, tell me."
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