ostavil | don't touch that dial

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wanda

don't touch that dial

They're the two most terrifying people on the planet and wanted by several governments but they're playing house in the middle of nowhere and not a single person can tell. Bucky's used to being invisible and silent and he'd managed to hide out in Romania for longer than he should have been able to by living on cash only, working under the table, keeping to the shadows. This is different. This is a real life that he can have, out in the open, and nobody even thinks he's suspicious at all.

It's a very, very good thing that HYDRA no longer has control of Wanda Maximoff.

When they're out in public, he keeps his face away from cameras and his arm hidden; a hat and Wanda's tricks do the rest. He can take his time picking out food, plan meals, pretend to have the friendly banter that a husband and wife would have. It's nothing he's never had before and this kind of stability almost feels like he's stealing the life he was supposed to have after the war. There's some other version of him who died falling from that train and maybe it's that version that's getting a new lease on life now.

It's autumn and the leaves have started to turn, yellow like the sun and scarlet like Wanda's hair and there's a brisk wind that says there's gonna be a storm in a day or two. Rain or snow, he isn't sure, but it's Canada so it can go either way. He has his left arm slid into Wanda's to cover up that it doesn't hang naturally the same as his right does and nobody suspects a thing. Their neighbors aren't ever curious, there's no surveillance, there's nothing to worry about. It's a strange feeling but a good one.

"You know, if you can figure out how to explain it to my tiny soldier brain I would love to know how you managed to keep our house invisible from everyone else. Small words, though. I'm all brawn and no brains."

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But Wanda doesn't want to move away from his neck. How else is she meant to mark him beyond where his Super Soldier enhancements can touch and repair the damage she's done? Wanda lingers by his neck, nipping at what she hopes to be bruised skin, before she even thinks to move away.

Moving her knee out from between his legs so she can straddle him a little better, she continues to absently rub against his crotch, her attention elsewhere. She kisses her way to his collarbones, enjoying the fact that he's letting her touch him. While Bucky often presses a hand to the small of her back, she imagined that after everything he's been through, any kind of touch wouldn't be welcome. Now that it is, she intends to be greedy, dragging her hand against his chest while she kisses her way down his pectoral. Wanda swipes her tongue firmly over his nipple.

Settling her hand onto his side, she lifts her head and gazes up at him with her lips parted as she pants softly. She cards her hand through her hair, trying to move most of it out of her way and away from hot skin, before she asks breathlessly, "Was that okay?"

"Only if you lean down here and let me return the favor," he says, grinning up at her. He's pretty sure he looks punch-drunk at this point and his skin feels hot; he's hardly a blusher but Wanda's worked him up pretty damn good and it's been a long, long time since he's had anything like this. It feels so good to be wanted.

"I don't like to be so passive, Doll. I'm more of a hands-on kinda guy."

It's an understatement, really, but he guesses the frustration will pay off in the end of it. If she works him up really tight, when he finally gets that release it's going to feel better than anything he's ever felt in his entire life. At least, that's what he's going to tell himself because otherwise he's just going to go insane.

"But you are actively participating," she says with a cheeky smile.

When she moves up the length of him and hovers over his face, she doesn't lower her mouth to his. She kisses the tip of his nose and laughs softly, enjoying teasing him way too much. She likes that he lets her.

Moving her hands to palm his chest, she sits up straight on top of him. She's grateful now that some of her thick hair falls against her breasts. She's slightly red and her skin's damp and she's more exposed than she's ever let herself be; she doesn't feel as well-put-together as she often tries to present to Bucky.

Absently clawing her nails against his chest, she tilts her head to the side as she shifts her hips against his cock. She inhaled sharply and stiffens her back, ignoring the butterflies unfurling in her gut. "I'm enjoying you and you seem to be enjoying it a lot."

Yeah, he's enjoying it, but he'd be enjoying it a lot more if he was in control. But maybe Wanda knows this about him. Maybe she knows that he likes to be in control in bed, likes to direct things and make sure it goes the way he wants because he's afraid of losing control. He's afraid of someone taking advantage of him again.

Wanda is different, though. Wanda could make him a puppet on a string with a flick of her fingers but she doesn't and it's because she cares about him. He isn't afraid of her powers because he trusts her with everything he has and he trusts her with this even if it isn't the way he normally does things. Maybe there's something to doing it this way.

He grips her hips and pushes her down hard, lets her feel him against her and uses the softness of her thighs to find some relief. He slips his hands upward and gets them on her breasts. If she wants to control the pace, she can do that, but he's getting some of what he wants, too.

"You're not going to be able to walk when I'm done with you. I hope you know that."

She gasps, accidentally sinking her nails into him to try and grip something. She'd apologise, but she has a feeling Bucky hardly cares.

Wanda likes to be in control as it means less rubble and fewer surprises, but this surprises her.

Bucky's hard because of her. She wants to believe it's decades of pent-up frustration leading him to desperately tug at her, but Wanda doesn't particularly want to think that way even though she wants to guarantee that she's not going to lose one of the only stable things and people she has in her life. To guarantee that remains, it's easier to place an impossible-to-climb mountain of rubble between them. This is already crossing a line she had been reluctant to even acknowledge was there. There's no option to rewind if this goes pear-shaped.

But she can't think like that—and doesn't want to. Instead, she arches her breasts into his hands and grips onto his wrists. She likes the fact that he's touching her with his left. Even if he might accidentally bruise her because of his fingers being made out of something sharper than flesh, she doesn't care. He trusts the arm enough.

"Will you carry me around then?" she smiles and shifts her hips, partially lifting them in an attempt to frustrate him further. He can't have his hands on her breasts and on her hips at the same time. "I have many things to do, people to see."

"I don't think you're gonna want to see anyone after I'm done with you, Wanda." He thinks it might be unfair to think about bending her over the bed and fucking her from behind as loudly as he possibly can but she started this and she can reap the rewards of being a tease. She's pulled her hips away from him and because his hands are on her breasts, he can't tug her back down and still have that. Or maybe he can.

He slides his left hand down and presses at her hip, trying to get her to rub up against him again. If she wants him to come like this, he'll come like this, but he wants some semblance of control just to know that he's going to eventually get a payoff. This situation is just frustrating for someone like him who thrives on control and being in charge.

"You know, if you were a good little witch, you'd at least get your mouth on my cock and have some mercy on me. I don't think I've ever been this hard in my life."

One thing Bucky has always gotten wrong about her is thinking of her as good. She's not. It's a mistake he keeps making, and Wanda wonders if he'll ever learn to correct it. Good people aren't the catalyst for a law that condones the good heroes from being good.

While Wanda might settle down onto his hips, she doesn't move. Even though she wants to give him what he wants, she doesn't want to get him off with her mouth. She wants to selfishly embrace the confidence she's found teasing him like this. She likes watching him. She's always enjoyed watching him and seeing HYDRA's stone crumble to reveal the person they tried to suffocate beneath. She doesn't need to skim across the surface of his thoughts when she can see him enjoy himself instead.

"Nobody is stopping you from getting what you want but you, Bucky." She taps her fingers against the wrist that she still holds, resting her other hand against his left. She shakes her head. "But I won't. I don't want to give you mercy that way."

Bucky huffs out a low breath and squirms underneath her. She's sitting on top of him and feels soft and warm and wonderful and all he wants is to fuck her and she's just not letting him do it. This isn't the way things usually go for him because he's used to taking control and guiding things and he'd thought since she'd seemingly had less experience, that he'd be doing that.

He'd thought wrong.

"So we'll do it your way," Bucky says, pulling his hands free so he can get them on her hips. It only takes him a moment to realize that she said not to rip the dress, not the panties, and he grips at them with his left hand while he looks up at her, eyes steely and challenging.

"Either they go or I tear them. Your choice."

If they were truly doing it her way, he'd have come already rather than being so stubborn and holding out and he'd be holding her just the way she hasn't let herself want.

She looks down at where his hand is and doesn't think to bat it away. She liked her dress. She wants to wear it again. The colour's nice, and considering how she thinks Bucky had been trying not to look at her earlier, she'd like to wear it again to get beneath his skin. Besides, it's just a nice dress—and Wanda likes that she got to buy it.

But the panties aren't her favourite pair.

So, ignoring the racing of her heart and the surge of nervousness, she shrugs and looks down at him. "Have you ripped underwear off with that hand before?"

"Absolutely not. I never use this hand for anything intimate. Not until your magic, anyway."

She'd said if they were doing this, she wanted all of him, and all of him includes his left hand. He twists it and the fabric tears easily, falling off to just be a pathetic scrap between the two of them. He wants to be inside her more than he wants his next breath but Wanda doesn't seem to want that (right now, at least), so he grips her hips and slides against her and not in her.

With nothing between them now, it's harder to keep control and he knows he's going to end up coming sooner rather than later. It's been a protracted battle, honestly, so he doesn't think he's giving up to give in just now. Maybe she's won this one but she won't win the war. He doesn't have much time to think about that, though, because another hard press against her and he's done. He's pretty sure he's fried every brain cell he has but he's never had an orgasm that's felt this good.

Wanda breathes heavily, swallowing thickly. It's a lot different without her panties in the way. She already knew she was aroused, but now Bucky's going to feel how slick she is. While she's not embarrassed by it, it's just another vulnerability he's exposing amongst many tonight.

Her skin feels hot and clammy at watching him come. She stares down at him, no longer gazing at him teasingly. With her lips parted, she leans forward and rubs her hands against his shoulders.

She wraps her hand around his wrist to pull his hand away from her chest. All she wants to do is sprawl out on top of him, uncaring of the mess of his come. She doesn't like the distance sitting astride him creates; she wants to be closer to him.

"Who knew ripping panties was your weakness?" she teases gently, smiling softly. She keeps rubbing her hands against his shoulders.

"Keep 'em in supply," he says, laughing softly. Wanda has sprawled on top of him and she feels so soft and warm. It feels so good to just be intimate with someone, to share moments like this with another person and not be afraid or slam the walls up. He reaches his right hand up to stroke her hair. It's a little messy from all the exertion but he doesn't care. Not a bit.

"I wanted to get you off first. That's why I held out so long," he whispers. It seems wrong to talk loudly when they're intimate like this and her fingers are stroking against his skin. He tips his head back and tries to meet her eyes, smile tilting his lips.

"I thought you'd just get frustrated and let me have my way. You're getting French lessons later, though." It's a tease and he pauses for a moment before speaking again, softer and more sincere.

"It gets me off to get you off. Or it will, anyway, if you let me. I just want you to feel good."

She rests her head against his right shoulder and curves her hand into his left. Now that he's no longer being frustrating and fighting her, she can relax and not expect any funny trickery from him.

She likes lying on top of him. Moving her leg so she can wedge her foot beneath his calf, Wanda exhales long and loud and feels boneless against him. This is all she's wanted, someone to simply hold her while the world kept spinning. It's all she wanted at HYDRA when she was unable to be near Pietro.

It keeps the town's growing thoughts quiet. She can listen to his heart pump and the blood rush beneath his skin and the way his voice sounds like she's underwater when she presses her ear tightly to him.

"And I wanted you to stop focusing on me," she says quietly. She smiles and traces her fingers against his shoulder, mostly on his skin. "I don't need you to get lost in me when I need you here, too."

"Most women complain that their husbands don't do enough around the house and my wife wants me to stop doing things. Somehow we got this all mixed up, Wanda."

Bucky can understand her point. It feels good to him to make her happy, to take care of her, to bring her pleasure. If it feels good for him, it must feel good for her, too, and maybe he shouldn't be so stubborn about accepting things from her whether it's a nice dinner or an orgasm. He strokes his fingers against her skin, grounding himself with the touch.

"It...I've got control issues," he admits finally. "And I know it's because of HYDRA and what they did to me. If I'm the one doing things, I know that no one can hurt me because I know exactly what's going to happen. And then there's the fact that I was used to hurt and maim and kill for so long that I want to know that my hands can make someone feel good, that my actions can make someone happy. Does it make any sense?"

She tilts her head up and watches him, even if what she mostly sees is his jawline. She understands it. While she hadn't been forced to be a killing machine with no sense of agency until after the fact (and even then), she understands it. Everything that's happened to her in her life has been outside of her control. It's why she wants to keep puppet strings tied to her fingers at all times.

"It does," she says quietly, resting her hand against his chest. "But I know you're not going to hurt me and you make me happy. You don't have to do anything more than be yourself."

And it doesn't matter to Wanda if he has to spend time figuring out who he is now that he's a man out of time. But she doesn't want him to overcompensate or forget that she's here for him, not for the ways he tends to serve her.

"I'm just afraid that myself might not be enough, eventually."

It's a heavy thing to admit but he feels safe admitting it when they're curled up together like this. He hasn't felt close to a person like this since before the war and he never thought he would get to have this and especially not with someone like Wanda, who is amazing and talented and a force of nature all on her own.

He doesn't want her to think it's a mistake. If he keeps doing things for her, keeps the house nice and waits on her hand and foot, maybe she won't want to leave. That's it, in the end of it. He's been abandoned by too many people for too long and he doesn't want Wanda to be another one. Not when he's let himself care.

"If I make myself valuable, you'll need me. Does it make sense?"

Wanda's quiet for a long moment, grateful that she can hide her face. She frowns as she absently rubs her hand against his collarbones. The last thing she wants is for him to think he needs to do things for her to guarantee she likes him. She thinks about their time together so far. Has she unintentionally given him the impression that she only likes it when he does things for her?

Lifting her head, she looks down at him. "I've had nothing for most of my life. All I wanted as a kid was to watch my stupid shows with my family," she says with a sad smile. She still can't bring herself to watch that episode of Dick Van Dyke. Perhaps if they hadn't been watching it, they would've been able to avoid Stark's bombs. "It didn't matter to me if we had a couch or anything. It still doesn't."

She looks down and exhales quietly. She licks her lips and remains quiet for a moment, ignoring how her throat tightens. This is what she likes to avoid and keep to herself, but she doesn't want Bucky to think she doesn't need him. She does, just not in the ways he thinks he's required.

"I don't need you to do things for me other than be here. Because when you're not here, I feel like I'm drowning."

"I feel like I'll drown if you don't need me," Bucky says. It's a little dramatic, he thinks, but it's how he feels and he thinks it's time to be honest right now even if he'd brush it off normally. He strokes his fingers against her skin still, trying to ground himself, and wonders how he can put his feelings into words. It's hard to talk about these things but he thinks it's important to do it, especially with Wanda. She's the best thing he's had in a long time.

"I want to love you, Wanda. I'm not really good with words so I try to show it in the ways I can do it best. That's why I do things all the time. That's why I take care of you. It's how I show you that I care about you, you know? It's hard to break down all these walls that have protected me for so long but with you, it seems like the walls just disappear."

He doesn't know if that's because she's a telepath or if it's just because she's Wanda but it's the truth of the matter. He's shit with words and he wants to express his emotions and his love in a way that makes sense to him and that's by taking care of her.

Maybe always batting away his thoughts hadn't been the best thing to do. Wanda wants to be prepared for any bomb that could potentially hit her so she can quickly roll out of the way. But the bomb he drops is one that has her frozen in place. She doesn't deserve that.

She bites her bottom lip and shifts her hand against his shoulder. Despite the urge to hide her face in the crook of his neck, she doesn't allow herself to. She's afraid to love anyone, but she doesn't want to be afraid of someone else's vulnerability. And telling Bucky that… she doesn't want this to become something he carries amongst all the other baggage he's burdened with.

"I don't need you to do everything for me," she says with a small smile. "My brother," she begins and stops herself for a moment. Talking about Pietro is always hard, no matter the context, but she's tried and tried to make it easier for herself by storming straight through the pinch in her chest. "He was very protective of me. I need you to let me do things. Some things," she says with a small scrunch of her nose.

"I'm not going to hate you because you sat on your ass for a day or you didn't walk with me to the park or insist I watch my television show downstairs rather than in my room."

"I want to make you happy," he murmurs. "I want to give you the kind of life you truly deserve. I don't have magic but I have my hands and my heart, if that's any good. I finally have something to give to someone and I want to give it to you."

It feels good to say it, to tell Wanda all these things he's been feeling but afraid to say. The intimacy of sex has loosened his tongue and all the things he holds so close to the chest seem to pour out easily in the afterglow. He glides his hand along the length of her body.

"Thank you for trusting me with your body. It means a lot to me. It means you trust me not to hurt you."

Now, Wanda tucks herself beneath his chin, this time bowing her head so her lips press against his skin. It's not in a kiss, even though it'd make it easier to do as much. Pressing her nose into him, she inhales deeply to only exhale loudly. She hides because she's blushing again.

She murmurs, "You trust me with your mind." It'd be so easy to slip a thought into his head that makes him stop. She knows she can do it. He has to know that it'd be all too easy for her to do so. He's been paired with the one person who should be a walking trigger for him.

She kisses his collarbones then before rubbing her hand over the spot. Resting her chin against him, she looks up at him, uncaring that he might not be able to see her face. She's comfortable tucked against him now. "I hope you had a good time. I know it wasn't exactly what you wanted, but it was good for me. I've never done that before."

"Wouldn't have figured that for a first time," Bucky says, laughing softly. He knows she means that particular sex act and not sex in general but it's still pretty impressive that she'd just gone for it and not been self-conscious if it was brand new for her. He hasn't gotten off with another person in longer than he can remember and it was good - not just for that reason but because it was Wanda.

"It was a damn good time, though," he assures her. "And I could tell you enjoyed it."

This is more in his wheelhouse, being able to tease, and he looks at her face while he speaks. He knows there's a good chance she might blush when he says what he's going to say but he wants to see the blush. He wants to know he affects her as much as she affects him.

"You were so wet I could have slid right in."

She smacks his chest. "Stop," she says sternly and does her best to try and pull the corners of her lips down. But they curve upward in her embarrassment. It's only really been tonight, but every time Bucky talks like this, saying she looks nice or he wants to sleep with her, she wants to bury her head in her hands and hide. She sees herself as everyone else sees her; she doesn't see herself as Bucky does, and each time he challenges that, she grows self-conscious.

"I know what you're doing," she continues, pushing roughly against his chest to she can look down at him sternly, "and I know why you're doing it and I'm not going to blush!"

So, it's a stray thought she caught. Wanda refuses to delve into his mind, even if she wanted to, because, right now, she's afraid to see just what he's thinking. Knowing him, it'll make her want to combust.

She pushes away from him so that she can give him her back and grab her pillow to place over her head. With her truly hidden away, he won't be able to see her face and thus will have to stop.

Bucky laughs, a rumbling one deep in his chest, and he just strokes Wanda's hip while she's tried to hide everything else from him. It's cute, honestly, that she doesn't want to blush in front of him and it only makes him more determined to make it happen.

"You don't like a little dirty talk? You're gonna have to get used to it with me, sweetheart, because I happen to be amazing at talking dirty. That was mild, considering."

He keeps moving his fingers against her skin while he decides what he's going to say next, what's going to work her up as much as she worked him up all night before he finally gave into her and got to come. This game she started is fun once he realized he was playing and now he really wants to play.

"I bet you don't want to hear about how hard your nipples were either, do you? Or how I want to get my mouth on your cunt until you scream for me? You don't want to hear that either?"

"No."

Wanda presses the pillow down harder over her head, grateful that she has her back to him. If she had rolled off of him and onto her side and faced him, she knows she'd have had a harder time hiding the fact that she was smiling and scrunching up her nose. Her nose scrunch is her telltale sign that she's at least enjoying herself, even if this is very, very new.

She shifts, but not to try and push his hand away. She doesn't mind him stroking her hip.

"Shh."

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