Entry tags:
don't touch that dial
They're the two most terrifying people on the planet and wanted by several governments but they're playing house in the middle of nowhere and not a single person can tell. Bucky's used to being invisible and silent and he'd managed to hide out in Romania for longer than he should have been able to by living on cash only, working under the table, keeping to the shadows. This is different. This is a real life that he can have, out in the open, and nobody even thinks he's suspicious at all.
It's a very, very good thing that HYDRA no longer has control of Wanda Maximoff.
When they're out in public, he keeps his face away from cameras and his arm hidden; a hat and Wanda's tricks do the rest. He can take his time picking out food, plan meals, pretend to have the friendly banter that a husband and wife would have. It's nothing he's never had before and this kind of stability almost feels like he's stealing the life he was supposed to have after the war. There's some other version of him who died falling from that train and maybe it's that version that's getting a new lease on life now.
It's autumn and the leaves have started to turn, yellow like the sun and scarlet like Wanda's hair and there's a brisk wind that says there's gonna be a storm in a day or two. Rain or snow, he isn't sure, but it's Canada so it can go either way. He has his left arm slid into Wanda's to cover up that it doesn't hang naturally the same as his right does and nobody suspects a thing. Their neighbors aren't ever curious, there's no surveillance, there's nothing to worry about. It's a strange feeling but a good one.
"You know, if you can figure out how to explain it to my tiny soldier brain I would love to know how you managed to keep our house invisible from everyone else. Small words, though. I'm all brawn and no brains."
It's a very, very good thing that HYDRA no longer has control of Wanda Maximoff.
When they're out in public, he keeps his face away from cameras and his arm hidden; a hat and Wanda's tricks do the rest. He can take his time picking out food, plan meals, pretend to have the friendly banter that a husband and wife would have. It's nothing he's never had before and this kind of stability almost feels like he's stealing the life he was supposed to have after the war. There's some other version of him who died falling from that train and maybe it's that version that's getting a new lease on life now.
It's autumn and the leaves have started to turn, yellow like the sun and scarlet like Wanda's hair and there's a brisk wind that says there's gonna be a storm in a day or two. Rain or snow, he isn't sure, but it's Canada so it can go either way. He has his left arm slid into Wanda's to cover up that it doesn't hang naturally the same as his right does and nobody suspects a thing. Their neighbors aren't ever curious, there's no surveillance, there's nothing to worry about. It's a strange feeling but a good one.
"You know, if you can figure out how to explain it to my tiny soldier brain I would love to know how you managed to keep our house invisible from everyone else. Small words, though. I'm all brawn and no brains."
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When she kisses him again, it's a little harder. She traces his lips with her tongue before she pulls away to only kiss him again, but softer this time. She wants all that anxious energy to go somewhere else. She wants not only to prove to him that she'll let herself have this rather than self-sabotage, but show herself that she can trust herself with him, too.
And she thinks of what she wants, of what Bucky would prompt her to ask for to have her relax. She'd wanted his metal hand to touch her earlier; her desire for it hasn't changed. She wants what makes him different to warm her naked back.
Can you put your other hand on my back? But what she doesn't realise as she kisses him is that she doesn't ask it, but thinks it loud and clear in his head.
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He slides his left hand up to touch her back, just laying the weight of it there in a way he hopes feels comfortable to her, and he keeps kissing her, running the edge of his tongue against her lower lip before biting it gently. He doesn't stop his hand, either, and traces against her with two fingers in an absent sort of way, just letting her get used to it.
That better? Bucky thinks it as purposefully as possible because he's not sure how telepathy works.
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Against his mouth, she says, "Yes", but frowns when she hears how strange her voice had sounded in comparison to his. She gasps, but not because of the ministrations of his fingers. Cupping her face with her hands, she abruptly sits upright, uncaring of his fingers nestled against her, and stares down at him horrified.
Cursing the equivalent of Oh fuck in Sokovian, Wanda's quick to say in a very heavy and apologetic accent, "I'm so sorry. I didn't want to do that."
Her one rule since living with Bucky was to never enter his head. She wouldn't read his mind, wouldn't accept the temptation of giving into the niggling of his thoughts, and wouldn't plant any thoughts or ideas in his head no matter how tempting it often is.
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Her accent is thicker and Wanda usually only does that when she's nervous so Bucky wants to make this as little of a deal as possible. He'd be upset if she pried into his thoughts without permission on purpose but she'd just asked him a question and it was harmless. He rubs his hand along her back to try to soothe her.
"Stop worrying," he says, using Sokovian instead of English. "Just enjoy yourself."
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She moves her hands down to cover her mouth as she peers down at him. "It won't happen again," she says quietly, her accent still thick. Then in Sokovian: "I promise."
Reluctantly—and mostly at the encouragement of his hand rubbing her back—she slowly lowers herself back down against him. Curling her hands against his shoulders once more, she doesn't hide her face in the crook of his neck like she wants to. She hovers above him.
Instead, she tries to lighten the mood just a touch and teases gently, "You think very loudly. I would be able to hear you from the sidewalk across the street."
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Bucky knows plenty of things, to be honest, and it isn't just the languages and the combat - he knows history and science and math. Still, it's a little fun just to pretend he's a dumb guy with a really smart girl and he hopes that Wanda will play along for the moment. He pulls his right hand from between her legs and strokes it along her arm.
"How am I 'sposed to think, Wanda?"
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She'll let his playful self-deprecation slide for now. While she still feels like jumping out of her skin for slipping, Wanda appreciates his hand on her arm. It's distracting and comforting, just like his metal arm had been on her back.
What he asks is a serious question, and Wanda thinks to reply in that manner.
"Like I'm in the room right beside you," she says, not switching to her lighter American. While she often defaults to her natural way of speaking when she's anxious, she can't explain this as anyone else but Wanda from Sokovia. That little girl beneath the rubble is the girl who transformed thoughts into stories, and while she didn't have her powers then, Wanda feels like that little girl now sharing this with him. It's an important part of herself, just like her love for stories. "Like this. I'll hear you no matter how loud everyone else is."
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Did I ever tell you that you were my favorite, sweetheart?
He thinks he's doing it right this time and if he isn't, he guesses that Wanda can correct him again. Maybe this is something they can do sometimes because it feels incredibly intimate in a way that would be terrifying with anyone else but feels right with her.
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Wanda rolls her eyes and looks at him with amusement. This is such a Buckyism, and she wonders if he's trying to make her blush again. She sits up against him, uncaring for once that she's naked, and rests her hands against his chest as she peers down at him. For once, she wants to sit on top of him and roll her shoulders slightly rather than lie against him.
She opens her mouth to speak, but presses her lips together and takes a moment to breathe deeply before she allows herself to respond in kind. She absently scratches lightly at his skin with a nail.
Your favourite what?
It feels like she's taken the bait.
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It means a lot to say it, to admit that he even has a favorite person or that he's allowed himself to care deeply enough to admit that he needs her in his life but it feels a little easier to think it and not say it out loud. Maybe it's something he should say out loud, yeah, but for now he'll keep it to their private thoughts.
You're the person I want to tell everything to and the person I want to make happy. The rest of the world can hang as long as I have you.
He's noticed that she shifted so he can see her more easily but he's just looking at her face for now, studying the lines of it as if he hasn't already committed it to memory a thousand times over.
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She ducks her gaze for a moment, smiling softly to herself. She shouldn't be his favourite person, but he remains steadfast in his affection and loyalty for her. Maybe she should let herself simply accept it for once.
You're my favourite old person.
She smiles at that.
Parting her lips, she inhales deeply before she swallows. Despite appearing like she wants to say something, she stalls for a long moment. Rather than speak what's on her mind, she decides to take a page out of his book. It feels safer, even if she should say it aloud so he can hear it reverberate differently to the thoughts in his head, but this way, she can hide in plain sight.
Can we swap? I want you to touch me, but not like this.
She doesn't want to lay sprawled out on top of him and use her weight and the angle to her advantage to hide. He's accepted a part of her, perhaps the most core part of who she is, with ease… and she finds that at this moment, the fear and anxiety of him seeing all of her are outweighed by her desire to trust him completely rather than in slivers.
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Bucky eases her from on top of him to roll to her back instead and he lays on his hip beside her. He can see all of her this way but he takes a moment to arrange her hair so it covers her breasts a little better and hopes that's a compromise she'll accept. He doesn't want Wanda to feel exposed or uncomfortable, especially since he's going to touch her, so this is better for now.
Once they're arranged, though, he cups her breast gently in his right hand and leans in to kiss her, lips soft against hers. He wants to keep all of this slow and gentle because he doesn't want Wanda to feel like there's any pressure to do one thing or the other. He just wants her to enjoy herself.
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She sighs softly and opts to thread a hand through his short hair, leaving her other one to grip at the bedsheets. Opening her mouth beneath his, she shifts her legs, lightly digging a heel into the bed and bending her knee slightly.
This is the most naked she's ever been. Although he's been kind enough to arrange her long hair, she's still so naked before him. Before placing those thoughts into his head, she still felt clothed in a way. She doesn't want anything other than for Bucky to touch her and for her to let herself be touched when she's refused it for so long.
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"Can I kiss you lower?" he asks, pausing for a moment. He wants to shift down and kiss her breasts, too, but he doesn't want to do something that's going to upset Wanda and take her out of the situation. He'd rather her be comfortable and happy than him get something he wants and this is about what she enjoys right now.
"I don't have to if you don't want me to."
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"Yes," she says quietly. She doesn't remove her hand from the back of his head, trailing her fingers through what she can of his hair. She much prefers it short; she likes being able to see his face and blue eyes, even if his face is currently buried in the crook of her neck.
And, as she peers down at him with her eyes half-closed, she adds for good measure: "I want you to."
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He thinks if he does everything slowly and deliberately then Wanda will be able to just focus on her own body and not the thoughts of other people or even his thoughts. Maybe all of it will drift away and she'll just think about the two of them together and how much they care about one another. While he kisses her, he slides his left hand up to cup her other breast, still marveling that her magic has made it so she can feel something with it. It isn't the same as the right, no, but it's something.
This is a gift that no one but Wanda could give him and he wants to pay it back in kind.
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She exhales loudly through her nose and moans softly. Even though she's not picking at his thoughts, his concentration is like being hit with a wave at the beach. She can feel it lapping at her feet even if he doesn't intend for it to try and knock her over.
"You can stop thinking so much," she murmurs a little breathlessly. "I'm fine; you're fine. I like this." And to emphasise what she likes in particular, she roughly slides the hand not in his hair over her side to touch his left hand.
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Bucky has to laugh at it because he’s never thought about how loud he thinks or how hard he concentrates, not before now, and now he feels like he has to be aware of it so he isn’t bothering Wanda with it. She seems to take it in stride, though, and when she touches his left hand he squeezes her breast with it lightly. He wishes he could feel more but feeling it at all is amazing enough and it’s some magic he will never ever be able to thank her for.
Maybe all the thanks she needs will be in the kisses and touches he gives her. He dips his head again and barely edges his teeth against her nipple before sucking at it again. It feels good to take the time and maybe Wanda not being concerned with the end result is a good thing. Maybe he shouldn’t be racing to the finish and should just be enjoying the journey.
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"You… always have been," she says hesitantly, only reluctant to voice it because of what it implies. Even before they'd been saddled with one another after the events in Germany, Wanda had always found him to be loud in the moments when they shared space. Always worrying, always thinking, always seemingly plotting a way to push Steve away.
She's sensed it here, worrying about her. Where she had originally focused on him to ensure the safety of her friend, it's morphed into personal interest. And he worries about her now, with her at fault for bringing something that he needn't worry about to the forefront of his mind.
"Don't worry about it," she whispers and arches her back off the bed to try and distract him. "Please."
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She tells him not to worry about it and he tries not to, focusing instead on kissing her and getting rewarded for it when she arches her back up off the bed. He shifts a little and kisses lower along the line of her belly and over to her hip.
"Are we still good?"
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Of course, she's still listening. She can hear everyone in their street and the streets several blocks over, but Wanda's distracted by how it feels to be touched like this again. With tenderness, like she's something to be gentle with. Where tension had once sat in the lines of her muscles, she feels pliant and like her bones are water now.
It takes her a moment to understand what he's asking. Peering down the length of her body, she sucks her bottom lip between her teeth and nods again. "You feel nice." Wanda ignores her flush when she asks quietly, "Are you enjoying this?"
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He kisses where her thigh and hip meets and murmurs softly against her skin. "I want to get my mouth on you, Wanda. I wanna taste you. Can I do that?"
Just the thought of it makes him want to die a little and it's as good for him to give to her as it is to receive. Maybe more, really, because he loves making Wanda feel good and he thinks she deserves it more than anyone. She deserves a chance to only think about herself for once.
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Peering down at him, she parts her legs slightly—not enough to try and dislodge him from where he's perched at her hip, but enough so that he can see that her answer isn't her attempt to please him, but represents what she wants, too. And she knows she wants it despite her nervousness. "Yes," she says quietly.
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He's always liked doing this for women and even if he's old, it's a myth that men only discovered how to please a woman in the modern era. No, he learned how to do to it because he was paying fucking attention and he wanted both of them to have a good time. It didn't take much to do. It's part of why he wants it for Wanda so much because for someone who has lost as much as she is, she deserves to have someone give all of themself to her.
He doesn't want to startle her, though, so he keeps his lips and tongue soft when he kisses her and just lets her get used to him being there before adding anything else to it.
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This isn't her first time receiving head, but it's her first time with an experienced partner who doesn't need her to guide him through the darkness that she's also navigating herself. She's not quite sure if she should be. She shifts her right foot so she can lift her thigh up a little more into his metal hand. It's such a strange and arousing sensation to feel the cold metal on her thigh while his mouth is warm and soft.
Rather than grip the bedsheets, she curls one hand into his hair and quietly whimpers. "You can do more," she murmurs, accent thick. Although, she suspects Bucky knows what he's doing. She ignores how her skin heats. "I want you to. It's okay. I'm okay."
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