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seeking a friend for the end of the world
( The world is a shithole. Actually, that's putting it mildly, really, but Bucky's trying to be optimistic these days since there's nothing to be optimistic about anymore. As soon as the virus started spreading, he got his gear together and headed straight to the woods. Anything like this, you need to be as far from people as possible and he wasn't going to depend on his enhanced immune system to defend him from something like this. It changes people, rewrites them from the inside-out, and he's not sure that super serum can protect a person from that.
He tries to only go into populated areas for supplies and since he can hunt pretty well and survive on his own, supplies usually constitute bullets. On his last run, he'd gotten a compound bow out of a shelled-out sporting goods store and he's been looking for arrows ever since because what he can make in the woods isn't going to be strong enough for the draw on the thing. It's a white elephant right now but he's loathe to part with it. He does his runs at night when he can exploit the weaknesses of the totalitarian government that came into place after society disintegrated; dealing with scared soldiers with shoot-to-kill orders is not his idea of a good time.
It's a good run until he sees someone else and he touches his hand to the hilt of his knife just in case. Smaller person, doesn't move like one of the infected, clearly not military. An idiot. Fantastic. He tries to get the drop on them from behind. )
Either you've already gotten infected and aren't showing symptoms or you're a complete idiot. What are you doing out here? It's not safe.
( It's an understatement, really, the lack of safety and he almost laughs about it; two years ago, he might have been talking about a teenager sneaking out of their house at night and now it's not safe for anyone at any time of day. For this person to have survived this long, they're not completely stupid. He's closer now and he can see that it's a woman. )
I could have killed you or one of the patrols could have shot you without asking questions. What's worth those two outcomes?
He tries to only go into populated areas for supplies and since he can hunt pretty well and survive on his own, supplies usually constitute bullets. On his last run, he'd gotten a compound bow out of a shelled-out sporting goods store and he's been looking for arrows ever since because what he can make in the woods isn't going to be strong enough for the draw on the thing. It's a white elephant right now but he's loathe to part with it. He does his runs at night when he can exploit the weaknesses of the totalitarian government that came into place after society disintegrated; dealing with scared soldiers with shoot-to-kill orders is not his idea of a good time.
It's a good run until he sees someone else and he touches his hand to the hilt of his knife just in case. Smaller person, doesn't move like one of the infected, clearly not military. An idiot. Fantastic. He tries to get the drop on them from behind. )
Either you've already gotten infected and aren't showing symptoms or you're a complete idiot. What are you doing out here? It's not safe.
( It's an understatement, really, the lack of safety and he almost laughs about it; two years ago, he might have been talking about a teenager sneaking out of their house at night and now it's not safe for anyone at any time of day. For this person to have survived this long, they're not completely stupid. He's closer now and he can see that it's a woman. )
I could have killed you or one of the patrols could have shot you without asking questions. What's worth those two outcomes?
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I, uhm... I don't know. [ She looks down at the bag again, though this time she hardly sees it. How long was she running before he'd found her? Hours, maybe? ] I should probably eat something.
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( Bucky has a stash of quick rations and he rifles through it and tosses over a protein bar and some jerky along with a thermos of clean water. He spends a good half his time working on water and making sure he has plenty of it to drink. He's grateful for all his paranoia now. )
We'll have something more substantial later when I cook but that should hold you over. I haven't checked my traps because I was raiding tonight. Didn't think I was bringing a partner back, though.
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Taking a bite of the protein bar that tastes like cardboard that sat next to a jar of peanut butter, she chews on auto-pilot, swallowing it down before speaking. ]
You can hunt and cook. I don't know how to do anything useful out here that you can't already handle yourself. [ Doubt and guilt well up inside her and she struggles to ride the familiar tide of it. ] I'm sorry about that. But I'm a fast learner.
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( Daisy should know, considering she'd spotted him on sight. People of a certain age are going to know exactly who he is and it's too dangerous to let them live to go back and tell the military or whoever that Bucky Barnes is ghosting around the QZ. He's got to live with it now. )
Bringing you back with me was my choice, not yours. I guess I've gotten soft in my old age.
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She's had to hide sides of herself to be what others wanted just so she could stay, and already she can feel those old tendencies rising up inside her. It will take a lot for her to even approach believing that it won't be an issue now, if it's even possible at all. ]
Yeah, I guess so. [ There's a strain to those words, though she manages a semblance of a smile for the next ones. ] The next step is creaky joints. You excited?
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( Bucky studies her face in the low light and tries to decide if Daisy is the type to bolt in the middle of the night and rat on him. He decides she's not after a second. He believes her about being Inhuman and he believes her story about being tested on. She needs him. He might not need her here but he wants her here. )
You got any news with you? I don't get a lot of that because it's not my focus. Rebellions, shit like that?
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She takes another bite of the bar and chews carefully while she thinks over his question. ]
Working on a cure is kind of the biggest thing lately, though the public doesn't know about it. Until there's actual progress, they don't want to give false hope — but people are starting to get desperate. Crime is on the rise, and there have been a few attempts by assholes to take control of the QZ. [ After a moment of silence, she continues quietly. ] It's not a perfect place, but we've heard some of the others are worse.
[ The murder and dissection of Inhumans notwithstanding, of course. That singular event is threatening to change her entire opinion of the system and she's not sure how to cope with that. ]
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( Bucky watches her, taking in every movement. Daisy seems shaken but resilient, the kind of person who takes a hit and keeps on going. He doesn't feel like he's made a mistake bringing her here and he's going to trust his gut until he has a reason to turn on that intuition. As it is, he doesn't think she's done anything but tell him the truth and it will be helpful to have someone else. )
I thought about going up into the mountains in West Virginia? I figured it was emptier up there and I would be dealing more with stragglers and the lone human than hordes of infected. There's no QZ close, though, and the winters are harder than they are here closer to DC. We get snow here, sure, but it's nothing like what I'd get up there. I'm kind of glad I didn't move camp. If we move now, it'll be both of us. I'll get you outfitted in weapons tomorrow. Tonight, though...you want to listen to some music? I managed to steal a record player and some records. You can go pick.
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It feels strange to still be so relatively close to the QZ. He mentions the mountains and it sounds so much safer than being within a few hours of travel. The talk of snow is concerning, though, and she's distracted enough by calculating how soon winter will arrive that she doesn't realize what else he's said at first.
A record player. Coulson would love that. ]
Is it safe enough here for that?
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( Bucky pauses for a moment. She still seems shell-shocked and he can't blame her. SHIELD agent or no, not many people have seen as much war and death as he has and while he's able to brush off just about everything because he's numb to it, it doesn't mean normal people can. He hasn't felt anything for anyone in so long that surviving day to day is his only objective and feelings don't come into it. )
It's up to you but I've had it for a while and I haven't had infected or people come up here because of it.
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Okay. [ She nods absently at first, then more firmly. ] Okay. But you pick tonight. I'll do it tomorrow.
[ She isn't ready to get up and think and choose. Even the idea of it is exhausting. He can carry the burden of this simple thing tonight, and tomorrow she'll start carrying her weight in all things. ]
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( Bucky shuffles through his records until he finds a Billie Holiday record and put it on. He loves jazz and always has and if Daisy is overwhelmed and tired, she won't think this is too much. If not, he can try pop, but the jazz is probably more relaxing. He drops the needle and the music plays out in his treehouse. )
You can relax, okay? I know that sounds...I'm the most tightly wound guy alive, I know that, but I'm not going to let anything happen to you. You can relax.
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I've never been very good at relaxing. [ Her admission is said with a bit of a smile though. ] I like the music. Coulson used to listen to this in his office. I'd tease him about it sometimes.
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( It's borrowing trouble to say it, he guesses, but he needs to be open and honest with Daisy about what life is like here and how it's different than inside the QZ. )
I don't want you having to go back there. Ever.
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[ There isn't anything else she can say to that. The weight behind that statement is almost overwhelming with all it means for them. He knows what she would be facing if she went back there, and she knows what he's capable of if he puts his mind to it. But he'll learn what she's capable of, too, sooner or later. ]
But nothing's going to happen to you. I won't let it. This thing goes both ways.
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Got it. I'll try not to make you have to pay up on that. You've got my six and I've got yours. Next time I see a dilapidated church I'll toss a prayer up. I was gonna die of being lonely. I'm sure you didn't expect the big, bad Winter Soldier to admit he was lonely, did you?
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Everyone gets lonely, Bucky. I would have expected the Winter Soldier to be the loneliest of all.
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I don't trust people anymore. Even before the world went to shit, I didn't, because people are worse than any other kind of threat out there. They're worse than monsters or weapons - people choose to kill, to maim, to hurt. Even moreso now.
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[ People are the worst threat out there. They're worse than the infected and worse than any alien invaders. Humans are one of the worst species she's ever encountered in the universe — but there are good people out there, too, and she hopes she can help remind Bucky of that. There are still people worth fighting for.
Glancing around, Daisy's quiet for a moment, letting the music fill the space. Finally, she makes a quiet observation. ]
It's pretty late.
[ She actually has no idea what time it is, and it doesn't really matter all that much, she's just tired and trying to find a way to approach that subject. ]
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( He wants Daisy to be able to trust him, too, and if he keeps watch for her while she rests, maybe that will go a long way in establishing that trust. )
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I appreciate that. [ She pauses, then: ] I have nightmares sometimes. If you have to wake me up during one, it's safer if you don't touch me.
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( Bucky gives her a soft look. )
I'm sorry you have them. Wouldn't wish it on anyone.
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She also doesn't know how to tell him he might have to wake her sometimes. If she stays with him long enough, there's bound to be a night when the dreams are so dark and terrible that she'll use her powers on pure instinct. But it likely won't be tonight, so they can cross that bridge tomorrow. ]
There are people who have it a lot worse. [ Like him. ] But thanks.
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( It includes nightmares, even if his abilities don't extend to psychic ones. He can be there in the aftermath and talk - or don't - until the fear has passed. Sometimes just having another person there can help him and maybe it'll help Daisy. )
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Nodding is her only response; she hopes he assumes it's because she's tired. Instead of going in verbal circles around this subject, she grabs the extra bedroll he'd pointed out earlier and unrolls it in a clear patch of floor. ]
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