seeking a friend for the end of the world

[ostavil]

( The world is a shithole. Actually, that's putting it mildly, really, but Bucky's trying to be optimistic these days since there's nothing to be optimistic about anymore. As soon as the virus started spreading, he got his gear together and headed straight to the woods. Anything like this, you need to be as far from people as possible and he wasn't going to depend on his enhanced immune system to defend him from something like this. It changes people, rewrites them from the inside-out, and he's not sure that super serum can protect a person from that.

He tries to only go into populated areas for supplies and since he can hunt pretty well and survive on his own, supplies usually constitute bullets. On his last run, he'd gotten a compound bow out of a shelled-out sporting goods store and he's been looking for arrows ever since because what he can make in the woods isn't going to be strong enough for the draw on the thing. It's a white elephant right now but he's loathe to part with it. He does his runs at night when he can exploit the weaknesses of the totalitarian government that came into place after society disintegrated; dealing with scared soldiers with shoot-to-kill orders is not his idea of a good time.

It's a good run until he sees someone else and he touches his hand to the hilt of his knife just in case. Smaller person, doesn't move like one of the infected, clearly not military. An idiot. Fantastic. He tries to get the drop on them from behind. )

Either you've already gotten infected and aren't showing symptoms or you're a complete idiot. What are you doing out here? It's not safe.

( It's an understatement, really, the lack of safety and he almost laughs about it; two years ago, he might have been talking about a teenager sneaking out of their house at night and now it's not safe for anyone at any time of day. For this person to have survived this long, they're not completely stupid. He's closer now and he can see that it's a woman. )

I could have killed you or one of the patrols could have shot you without asking questions. What's worth those two outcomes?

Comments

[ostavil]

Yeah? Coulson is climbing higher and higher on my list of people I like. Wish I could meet him. It's just you and me for now, though. I've got a lot I need to do before it gets too cold for us to do foraging in the woods but it'll wait until the morning. I want to get you in the routine fast, though, because you need to know how to do this in case something happens to me.

( It's borrowing trouble to say it, he guesses, but he needs to be open and honest with Daisy about what life is like here and how it's different than inside the QZ. )

I don't want you having to go back there. Ever.

[chuju]

Thank you.

[ There isn't anything else she can say to that. The weight behind that statement is almost overwhelming with all it means for them. He knows what she would be facing if she went back there, and she knows what he's capable of if he puts his mind to it. But he'll learn what she's capable of, too, sooner or later. ]

But nothing's going to happen to you. I won't let it. This thing goes both ways.

[ostavil]

( Bucky's certain he could fight his way through the QZ to get her if he had to but hopefully neither of them are ever going to have to worry about it. It's sheer luck that he found her and he doesn't believe much in God or good fortunes anymore but he thinks there must be a little of that stuff still out there because he found Daisy and scooped her up before something could come at her that she couldn't handle. )

Got it. I'll try not to make you have to pay up on that. You've got my six and I've got yours. Next time I see a dilapidated church I'll toss a prayer up. I was gonna die of being lonely. I'm sure you didn't expect the big, bad Winter Soldier to admit he was lonely, did you?

[chuju]

[ He's probably trying to make a joke, but it isn't a funny topic for her. For over half her life, she'd lived and breathed loneliness. Not once in her life had she known what it was like to not carry that aching emptiness inside her — not until she'd joined SHIELD. Everything changed after that. ]

Everyone gets lonely, Bucky. I would have expected the Winter Soldier to be the loneliest of all.

[ostavil]

( Daisy says it soberly and he guesses she must know something about the kind of lonely he feels deep in his bones because she's right - the Winter Soldier is the loneliest of all. Cut off from engaging with the world in any real way except for programmed commands, Bucky had been screaming to get out for all those decades. The loneliness he experiences now is nothing like that. )

I don't trust people anymore. Even before the world went to shit, I didn't, because people are worse than any other kind of threat out there. They're worse than monsters or weapons - people choose to kill, to maim, to hurt. Even moreso now.

[chuju]

You're not wrong.

[ People are the worst threat out there. They're worse than the infected and worse than any alien invaders. Humans are one of the worst species she's ever encountered in the universe — but there are good people out there, too, and she hopes she can help remind Bucky of that. There are still people worth fighting for.

Glancing around, Daisy's quiet for a moment, letting the music fill the space. Finally, she makes a quiet observation. ]

It's pretty late.

[ She actually has no idea what time it is, and it doesn't really matter all that much, she's just tired and trying to find a way to approach that subject. ]

[ostavil]

Yeah, it's late. If you want to get sleep, I'll keep watch. I have my trip wires set up so no one is going to sneak up on me but I'll keep a watch just to make sure. I want you to be able to get some good sleep.

( He wants Daisy to be able to trust him, too, and if he keeps watch for her while she rests, maybe that will go a long way in establishing that trust. )

[chuju]

[ Part of her wishes he would take the time to sleep too, even though she knows she'll sleep easier knowing someone is on watch. For now, anyway. Hopefully, with more time... But there's still a logistical issue to take care of. ]

I appreciate that. [ She pauses, then: ] I have nightmares sometimes. If you have to wake me up during one, it's safer if you don't touch me.

[ostavil]

Noted. Better if you let me wake up from mine, too. If you touch me, I might punch you, and nobody wants that. We'll just let each other come up out of our own nightmares.

( Bucky gives her a soft look. )

I'm sorry you have them. Wouldn't wish it on anyone.

[chuju]

[ She doesn't know what to do with that look. Of course, he understands, and of course, he has his own nightmares, but offering words like that? It makes her uncomfortable simply because she wasn't expecting it.

She also doesn't know how to tell him he might have to wake her sometimes. If she stays with him long enough, there's bound to be a night when the dreams are so dark and terrible that she'll use her powers on pure instinct. But it likely won't be tonight, so they can cross that bridge tomorrow. ]

There are people who have it a lot worse. [ Like him. ] But thanks.

[ostavil]

Doesn't mean that yours aren't terrible. You only know the extent of how bad your own shit is and what you can handle. If it's hard for you to handle, it's hard, and there's no comparison you can do. I'll keep you safe. Said I would, didn't I?

( It includes nightmares, even if his abilities don't extend to psychic ones. He can be there in the aftermath and talk - or don't - until the fear has passed. Sometimes just having another person there can help him and maybe it'll help Daisy. )

[chuju]

[ She wants so badly to believe him, but no one can save her from the nightmares. They're terrible memories twisted into even more horrific incidents, her traumatized mind unable to escape the events that caused the worst damage. And relying on someone to help her through them... It's too much. Her pain is too much to expect anyone to carry.

Nodding is her only response; she hopes he assumes it's because she's tired. Instead of going in verbal circles around this subject, she grabs the extra bedroll he'd pointed out earlier and unrolls it in a clear patch of floor. ]

[ostavil]

( Bucky ends up taking first and second watch so that Daisy can just sleep and when the sun is peeking up over the horizon, he gently wakes her with a touch of his hand to her shoulder. )

Hey, you get enough sleep? I want to show you what I do during the day so you know how to work on those things before our next run into the QZ. I just let you sleep through second watch. Looked like you needed it.

[chuju]

[ Daisy doesn't wake once throughout the night, physical exertion and anxiety draining her of every last ounce of energy. That touch to her shoulder drags her up from deep sleep, and it's the presence of significant metal on the person that keeps her from groggily lashing out. It reminds her senses of people she loves — Coulson and Sousa and Yo-Yo, people she's trusted for years, and so her subconscious associates that feeling of trust and safety with Bucky now too.

Blinking blearily up at him, she glances around for a moment before rubbing at her eyes. ]

Thanks, but you deserved to rest too. [ It's a half-hearted protest, though, because there's no point in making a real fuss unless it continues to be a problem. Sitting up, she scoots off the bedroll so she can roll it up again and set it off to the side and out of the way. Then she stands, runs a hand through her sleep-mussed hair in an attempt to tame it, and nods. ] Okay, yeah, let's go.

[ostavil]

I can actually go without sleep for longer than you. Plenty of time for me to sleep tonight while you do a watch for me. I don't need that much if I have to go without. Winter Soldier special.

( Bucky rifles through their supplies again and gives her a protein bar. It's not the best but it's portable and he wants to get them moving as quickly as he can. )

Setting traps and gathering today. When the weather turns, we'll lose the berries and mushrooms, so we better get them now while they're still out there. I like to keep a store up of the useful shit to dry out too. Not that Willow Bark does much for me but if I was dying of a fever and we had nothing else, we'd be glad for it. You can tell me as much as you can about what's going on inside that QZ. I only sneak in at night but I haven't heard any of the gossip.

[chuju]

[ No, the protein bar isn't the best with its chalky cocoa flavor and dry yet chewy texture, but it's better than nothing. She might have her preferences, but Daisy learned not to be picky a long time ago.

Carefully chewing a bit of the bar, she listens to Bucky explain the basics of what it's like here, the details she'll need to remember if she's going to survive. When he comes to the mention of talking about things inside the QZ, though, she nearly flinches. She'd really rather not talk about things back there, but it would probably seem ungrateful and more than a little suspicious to tell him that. ]

I've never done anything like this, I grew up in cities, but I'm a quick learner and I can pull my own weight.

[ostavil]

Didn't think you'd be an anchor on me. Don't worry about it. If it's anything to you, I'm so damn lonely that as long as you didn't lead anyone back here, I'd let you stay for free. But I think you're not that kind of person so I'm really not worried about it.

( Bucky wipes at his left hand with his t-shirt, one of his very few tics, and gives her a look from under hooded lashes. )

You'll pick it up fast. It's just rote and repetition.

[chuju]

[ Holding the protein bar with her teeth, she leans over to tug on her boots, the only thing she'd done to get more comfortable last night for sleeping. They'd been left right within reach in case she needed to get up fast, but without any frantic need pulling her into action, she's able to take a moment to lace them up properly. She takes another bite of the bar as she straightens up again, talking around the tough mix of oats, nuts, and who knows what else while she grabs her bag. ]

I'll take your word for that and hope you're right.

[ Maybe it's overkill to take her bag with her, but out here, she's willing to lean into those slightly paranoid instincts for a while longer. She pulls to tighten the shoulder straps and then nods. ]

Okay, teach. Let's go.

[ostavil]

First thing I do every morning is check my trip wires. Now, we'd know if someone actually triggered them because they'd yell about being strung up in a tree but you want to make sure your ropes are tight and aren't frayed. I'll show you where you can walk to avoid them, too, so you're not the one getting strung up.

( Bucky merely jumps down from the top of the treehouse but he knows that Daisy may or may not be able to do that. )

Jump it if you can and spare yourself the climbing. I only put the ladders in to go up, not down.

[chuju]

[ Daisy watches him go, that super soldier serum making it look as easy as breathing, never mind that they're a good ways up. Eyeballing the distance, she decides it's better not to risk a broken leg just to show off, so she jumps with both hands out at her sides, sending out the slightest ripple of vibration to catch herself. There's a mild rumble as she lands, her knees bending with the impact, but it's not enough to be felt more than a few years away in any direction. ]

I can go up without a ladder too if I need to. [ She says with a shrug like it's no big deal. ]

[ostavil]

Neat trick. Could come in handy sometime. Let's check these trip lines. Of course, we already know nothing tripped them since we didn't get woken up by them but good to make sure they're sturdy anyway.

( Bucky goes over to the first one, hidden well in the grass and fallen leaves and soon to be buried under snow. )

See, the line's still taut and not frayed. I'm gonna climb that tree and make sure squirrels haven't chewed my net.

[chuju]

[ The snow isn't something she's looking forward to. Everything will become harder then, from finding food to just walking around. And if she's worried about her nightmares now... But it's inevitable, and the changing seasons aren't a problem she can outrun.

Carefully following Bucky's steps, she watches him closely. ]

Climbing trees. Yeah, okay.

[ That's one thing she's definitely never done before. She can jump over trees, but climbing them is going to require a totally different skill set. ]

[ostavil]

( Climbing trees is nothing he learned as a child and is really just a lateral transition of skill from climbing a rope or a cliffside and just making his handholds bark instead of niches in rock. Trees don't tend to be as dangerous but there's danger in anything and he can't get complacent.

Bucky shimmies his way up the tree and perches on the sturdy branch that is connected to his tripline and it seems like the squirrels haven't gotten to it. Yet, anyway. )

This one's clear. I check them every other day. It's a waste of time to do it daily but you want to look at it more than once a week or you run the risk of getting caught by nasty surprise. There's a hive up here. You think you can vibrate in a way to make these bees come out and abandon it?

[chuju]

[ In an attempt at learning something, she watches him make his way up the tree, trying to spot what he's grabbing hold of along the way and how he's leveraging his weight. It's a ridiculous exercise, though — the man's a supersoldier, he can probably bench press a car, so of course he can haul himself up into a tree.

His question takes her by surprise and she has to really consider her answer. Obviously, he's not allergic, but it would still hurt like hell to be stung. And if she's the one up there... ]

I'm not sure. Maybe? But you probably don't want to be up there while I try.

[ostavil]

Fair enough. Let me get back down to the ground and see if we can do it from there. If we can get them to swarm and abandon the hive, I can go back up there and get it. Seems a waste not to since it's on our doorstep.

( Normally he'd go through the pain of smoking them out but he thinks Daisy might be able to help him with this and he wants her to feel useful too, like she's contributing something other than good company for him. He makes his way back down the tree and hits the ground boots first. )

Showtime, I guess.