ostavil | 001 wakanda

001 wakanda

There's peace in Wakanda. Bucky had spent a little while under the ice while Shuri figured out a way to work on his deprogramming and while it's been a painful process, it's a necessary one and he's glad for all her work on the tangled knot that's HYDRA and the mess inside his brain. It's all wired incorrectly, a bomb that never went off but still needs to be defused, and he's scared every time she goes in there that something will go wrong and he'll attack her; it hasn't happened yet.

When he isn't working with her or Ayo, he has a little hut to himself where there are goats and sometimes children come visit him to see the curious white man who has taken up on the fringes of Wakandan society. Steve has visited a few times but when they announce a visitor this time, it's apparently not Steve. They're still at the palace being received, though, so Bucky takes the time to tidy up where he's been staying as much as he can one-handed; he's neat by nature but he also isn't used to having company come by either.

Who could it be? Sam? Sharon? Bucky isn't sure who would come to visit him aside from those two and Steve. Tony Stark certainly wouldn't and he isn't sure the Wakandan government would even let him in. Would Wanda come to see him? He's not certain. He imagines she's in hiding the same as he is, trying to avoid the Sokovia Accords and their inevitable consequences on her. It seems she's suffering more from them than anyone else, even himself, so he doesn't think she'd risk coming to see him.

He catalogs the other people he knows and he comes up with Natasha. He's got a strange history with her. He's shot her twice while the Winter Soldier but curiously, both times, he'd shot her non-fatally. It's almost as if he'd known that she needed to live even if he didn't know her and that's not what the Winter Soldier does. He doesn't leave loose ends. He kills whoever is necessary, even an innocent bystander, and Natasha has been actively opposing him both times he's encountered her. Even when he'd been activated by Zemo he'd attacked her but didn't take her down. There's something in him that protects her and he wonders why that is and always has. He doesn't know why she'd visit him but he wouldn't turn it down, either, so when he hears someone at the door he calls for them to come inside.

"Come in, I'm not busy." He's just finishing up wiping down a counter in what counts for his kitchen and when he comes into view of the visitor, he sees that it is Natasha. Curious.

"Hi."

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"I love being right," she agrees and nips his lower lip before hiking her thigh up over his hip a little bit more to give him some access. A hand comes up to stroke along his cheek as he looks at him before saying in a very serious tone.

"I got somewhere perfect for you to put that you know."

"I bet you do," Bucky says, rolling his eyes. It's playful, though, and the way she's shifting means he has easy access to guide his cock into her. It feels so good, too good, and he takes a sharp breath and just stays still for a moment.

"Give me a second. Been a long time."

If she had been eager and pushy when he was going down on her all that stills and she is able to keep still for him. Her arm slides up around his neck, leaning his head forward and just letting the softest gasp out as he slides in and stills.

"Take as long as you need.. that feels real nice..." she murmurs against his lips reassuringly.

"Just need to remember what it feels like," Bucky says softly. He moves then, though, because staying still isn't enough for him and he's sure it isn't enough for Natasha either. Maybe he's done this more recently than 1945 but it doesn't feel like it to him.

"Feels damn good," he says, kissing her quickly.

"Yeah you feel so good in me, James..." she murmurs moving to pull away from the kiss so she can burry her face into his neck starting to kiss there. She's clinging to him, soft and easy and vulnerable in a way she hasn't been with him yet.

"Take all the time you need, just do what feels good."

Bucky doesn't want it to end too quickly so he keeps his pace slow, rocking into her steady. Natasha has her face buried against his neck and he likes that, loves how intimate it feels.

"I want to be the best you've ever had," he confesses. "I want you to only ever want me."

"I do..." she murmurs softly against his neck. She had wondered if doing this would take her back to old times if she'd been remembering them like that but she wasn't, she was here and with him and it was perfect. She shifts her hips just a tiny bit to adjust the angle and moans softly when it hits just the right spot.

"You fit perfect right here.." she assures him.

"Good."

Bucky isn't exactly thinking so much as feeling at the moment and everything he feels is good. Amazing, really, because he's never been attracted to someone the way he's attracted to Natasha.

Natasha has shifted her hips and he's hitting her deeper now than before and it's almost too much. He knows he's making strangled sounds that sound pathetic but he doesn't care.

She pulls back and presses her forehead against his, a hand going to his cheek to cup there. She kisses him a couple times between their moans and groans just trying to explain without words, to make him feel wanted in a way that she hasn't been able to with him before.

It's been hard, it's been weird, but more then all this, this is good.

"Whenever you're ready..." she moans reassuringly against his lips.

Bucky is more than ready, honestly, but he has been holding it back for as long as he can so it won't be over. He just wants it to last forever. It's not gonna last forever, though, and when he comes, he ends up moaning low and buries his face against her neck.

"I'm falling in love with you," he murmurs. "Maybe I was already in love with you and didn't remember. I don't know. It's hard to explain."

She presses closer to him just sticking close not even moving. She presses a kiss to her lips, his nose, then his forehead and sighs softly. It doesn't matter, whichever those are it doesn't matter.

"You don't have to explain..." she says it really soft, fond, trying to make sure that it helps him relax a little more. "Whatever it is I'm good with. I'm here."

"Don't think I could explain it if I tried," Bucky says, glad she doesn't want him to explain it better than he did. He enjoys the attention he's getting right now, though, and it's good.

"I know I want you to stay, though. For right now - for tonight."

"Babe, you'd have to physically throw me out to get rid of me tonight.." she says pressing a couple more kisses to his forehead before going back down to his lips for a long slow one.

"I can only stay for a couple days, but until then you're stuck with me, okay?" she offers him fondly stroking a thumb across his cheek.

"I know I can't keep you here forever," Bucky says. "The world needs you, after all. They don't need me right now."

Eventually, the world might want him to leave Wakanda and do something in service to the Avengers or whoever might handle a threat but for now, he can rest and heal and maybe work on this with Natasha.

"I would keep you, though, if I could."

“Darlin’ I am part of the whole world, and I need you I promise,” she says softly and leans in to kiss him softly clinging to him a little bit before pulling back with a grin. “Next time I’m going to need you to have ice cream ready to feed me after as though…”

She grins a little wickedly teasing him as she says it.

“You’ll learn I have a horrible sweet tooth…”

"Oh, right, I didn't have appropriate post-sex snacks. I should have thought about that," Bucky says, laughing a little. "Next time I'll be sure to have ice cream for you. And popcorn. And whatever else you want."

Bucky thinks he has a snack shortage, actually, and that's probably because he has to eat constantly to keep his metabolism from burning him alive.

"Some people smoke after sex but I guess we're eating ice cream?"

“Well, I will forgive you because I’m pretty sure you had no idea I’d be here today …” she murmurs nipping at his jaw playfully. “Next time though there’s expectations that your girlfriends gonna get spoiled when she gets her you got it?”

She’s actually not serious about the spoiled part but is about the snacks. They never had all they wanted to eat in the red room so snacks were very important. He used to sneak her some when he’d leave on missions and she stayed.

"I think I can manage to get some snacks in here," Bucky says. "It's not gonna be a problem. Besides, contraband is my expertise."

Bucky shifts a little so she can rest comfortably on his left shoulder and chest and he can touch her with his right hand.

"Just leave me a list of what you want."

It’s easy to settle in next to him, natural, like they had never stopped doing this from any amount of time. She closes her eyes and listens to his breath a hand resting on his chest just melting there.

“Hm? What do you mean by contraband bring expertise?” She asks curiously.

"Oh, you know, in the war I was always getting shit that should have cost entirely too much money or shouldn't be available at all," Bucky says, grinning at her.

"You know how much a pair of stockings went for in 1943? I was rolling in money before I shipped out. Had my own little black market deals running. That's how I had condoms when all of them got shipped off to the Army for the morale."

Bucky thinks for a moment. "Shit. I didn't use one. That was fucking stupid of me."

Natasha loves learning about the things he did before he knew her. Sure she'd heard some from Steve in the past but it wasn't the same. This was all different and it was amusing for her. It was similar to how he used to sneak her gifts in the room as well and that makes her smile.

Then he gets nervous and she reaches a hand up to comb through his hair.

"Don't worry about it -- the Red Room made sure that would never be a worry again, for every girl that came through there." She says it softly, trying to keep her composure, not letting it bother her -- it didn't most of the time, but it was still awkward to mention.

"That's...awful," Bucky says, eyes soft with concern. He hadn't known that about Widows but it makes sense, given what they do and how they have to do it sometimes. He wonders if the him from before worried about her whenever she had to do those kinds of things and while she's stroking his hair, he decides to just ask.

"Was I worried whenever you had to do missions that involved potentially having sex with a mark? Or jealous? I just feel like I would have been afraid for you," he says.

It's easy to tell him these things, share these parts with him and she just runs her fingers through his hair a little more. She tips her head up to look at him when he asks that and gives him a smile.

"You were always worried about me, even though you always told me you knew I was capable. It wasn't that you were afraid I wasn't good enough, just that you were afraid for me..." she trails off giving him a soft smile.

"I don't think I ever noticed you feeling jealous though, so if you did you hid it well. Mostly concern, and a desire to go cut off the heads of any men who made me feel bad. Even if you couldn't do that."

"Yeah, I don't think I would be jealous. We do what we have to do," Bucky says. "And it wasn't chosen. Being afraid makes sense, though, and so does being protective. That's how I feel now. I don't want you to ever have to be that vulnerable with someone again. I know you're good at your job but there's a different kind of vulnerability when someone is having sex with you."

He sighs a little and runs his fingers down her skin.

"I can't help but worry."

She can't help but let herself melt into him a little bit when he says that. There's feelings there, more then she could have remembered and she nods leaning in to give him a soft gentle kiss.

"Don't worry, I don't do missions like that anymore," she reassures him hand coming back down from his hair to stroke over his cheek.

"Now I just tease them that they think they can get that far and instead slit their throats."

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