ostavil | 001 wakanda

001 wakanda

There's peace in Wakanda. Bucky had spent a little while under the ice while Shuri figured out a way to work on his deprogramming and while it's been a painful process, it's a necessary one and he's glad for all her work on the tangled knot that's HYDRA and the mess inside his brain. It's all wired incorrectly, a bomb that never went off but still needs to be defused, and he's scared every time she goes in there that something will go wrong and he'll attack her; it hasn't happened yet.

When he isn't working with her or Ayo, he has a little hut to himself where there are goats and sometimes children come visit him to see the curious white man who has taken up on the fringes of Wakandan society. Steve has visited a few times but when they announce a visitor this time, it's apparently not Steve. They're still at the palace being received, though, so Bucky takes the time to tidy up where he's been staying as much as he can one-handed; he's neat by nature but he also isn't used to having company come by either.

Who could it be? Sam? Sharon? Bucky isn't sure who would come to visit him aside from those two and Steve. Tony Stark certainly wouldn't and he isn't sure the Wakandan government would even let him in. Would Wanda come to see him? He's not certain. He imagines she's in hiding the same as he is, trying to avoid the Sokovia Accords and their inevitable consequences on her. It seems she's suffering more from them than anyone else, even himself, so he doesn't think she'd risk coming to see him.

He catalogs the other people he knows and he comes up with Natasha. He's got a strange history with her. He's shot her twice while the Winter Soldier but curiously, both times, he'd shot her non-fatally. It's almost as if he'd known that she needed to live even if he didn't know her and that's not what the Winter Soldier does. He doesn't leave loose ends. He kills whoever is necessary, even an innocent bystander, and Natasha has been actively opposing him both times he's encountered her. Even when he'd been activated by Zemo he'd attacked her but didn't take her down. There's something in him that protects her and he wonders why that is and always has. He doesn't know why she'd visit him but he wouldn't turn it down, either, so when he hears someone at the door he calls for them to come inside.

"Come in, I'm not busy." He's just finishing up wiping down a counter in what counts for his kitchen and when he comes into view of the visitor, he sees that it is Natasha. Curious.

"Hi."

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"No, it's completely for charity," Bucky deadpans. It's not and they both know it but it's fun to play at it. It's strange to shower with a woman and not actually have sex, he guesses, but he's enjoying this time with Natasha just as it is.

He pulls her back against him, feeling the softness of her body up against his dick. He dips his head down to kiss her neck, lips soft.

She tilts her head to give him more access to kiss her neck, because damn that feels good. She lets out a gentle moan at the attention leaning her body back into him more. The only issue with this is that she can't get her hands onto him and she wants to properly.

"James if you keep that up I am going to want a lot more then just a shower..."

Bucky lifts his head and kisses again, this time right below her ear. She says she'll want a lot more than just a shower and Bucky doesn't know if he is ready for that yet but he does want to keep kissing her and touching her.

"I'm working on what I'm comfortable with," Bucky says. "But I'm not counting it out."

She bites her lower lip, trying to hold bag a groan of a reaction when he kisses such a sensitive spot and whispers against his ear. She's trying to be good and not pressure him but it's so easy to get turned on by those fingers and hands over him.

"And that's okay, but I'm warning you that it's making me turned on..." she murmurs softly.

"Well, what if I just touched you? Would that be all right?"

Bucky doesn't think he's ready to have full on sex without worrying about how he performed or if he stands up to his past self but he can get Natasha off, he thinks, and he wants her to feel good about taking a chance with him. It's easier to give than receive for him at this point in time, he thinks.

He slides his right hand lower, palm flat against her.

"You can always touch me.. if that's what you want," she moans and moves to turn in his arms a little bit. She gets an arm around his shoulders so she can press her face into his shoulder and lean into him to show him that she's enjoying the idea very much.

"Do you have any idea how sexy I find you, James?"

"Yes and no," Bucky admits. She's told him, of course, but he's still finding his feet and trying to get comfortable in his body again and part of that is getting comfortable with the idea of being intimate with someone again. Being the Fist of HYDRA had done a lot of damage to him in a lot of ways.

"Do you mind telling me about it?"

She presses a couple kisses to his neck while he asks that, pressing closer to him trying to reassure him how much she's into him. She nips at his shoulder playfully before pulling back from the skin enough to answer the question.

"The way you touch me, the steam behind those blue eyes that look like they could pierce my soul... " she starts with things that are less physical but then can't help but add. "And your goddamn perfect cock that I just want to drop to my knees and wrap my lips around and worship."

Honestly, Bucky doesn't expect her to just come out and say it like that but it feels damn good to hear it. It's clear Natasha loves his body but she also loves how he looks at her, how he touches her, how he just is and those things mean more to him.

"I think it's stupid to say I didn't expect you to say something like that," Bucky says. "But goddamn it was hot to hear it. It makes me feel like I'm on top of the world."

She tips her head up and leans in to give him a few kisses, deeper this time, more hot passionate ones. The kind that are more desperate, hot, trying to keep that feeling of him being on top of the world going. She gets a hand up into his ponytail to fist before she pulls back with a groan.

"I really think you should let me suck your cock then, because I'm really good at it, and I need you to know that."

Bucky knows his eyes are a little wide because he doesn't remember anything sexual that wasn't against his will (even though he's had dreams about times with Natasha and he believes her when she says they were together) so he doesn't want to get upset when she's in the middle of it.

But he wants it. He more than wants it. Maybe if it's not full intercourse he'll do better with it. Small steps.

"Yeah. I want you to. Please?"

She grins back at him when he responds like that and gives him another couple kisses for good measure. She'd been happy to be in the shower until this point but she's ready to draw the line here. She's not getting her hair wet.

"Okay then let's go to your bed, because I don't wanna get my hair wet and it'll be way more comfortable."

Bucky laughs at that and turns off the shower. Somehow they've managed not to get their hair wet and he thinks that's a miracle in and of itself. He grabs a towel to dry himself off and then hands one to Natasha so she can do the same before heading back to the bedroom.

The bed's plenty big enough for two, especially considering that Natasha is a hell of a lot smaller than him, but Bucky feels a little strange just flopping on the bed naked. Still, he wants it, so he gets over it and lays back against the bed.

Natasha brushes the towel over herself quickly before dropping it on a chair as she follows him to the bed. She crawls on top of him, straddling his waist as she leans in to press kisses to his lips lovingly, starting to work up the tension that was lost in th shower. She takes one of his hands as they kiss and guide it up to her breast to let him feel them, encouraging him to explore her body on his own.

"You are so gorgeous, I'm going to eat you up."

It feels good to be complimented like this and it doesn't take long for Bucky to get into the mood again. She guides his hand up and he cups her breast in his hand while putting the left at her waist. God, Natasha is beautiful, and he can't believe she's interested in him of all people.

Except that she'd met another side of him, a part that's still in there, and Bucky hopes he can find it again.

"You're so beautiful," he murmurs, capturing her lips again.

She has a hand on his shoulder the other stroking over his chest as they kiss. Her fingers just exploring all the skin, touching places that she was sure hadn't been touched in a long time, taking her time as she kisses him back deepening it a bit more.

God she could kiss him forever. While she's doing that she starts to rock her hips slowly, grinding down against his hips with no care that there's no fabric between them. Normally she'd save something like this for a clothed make out session. However she wants to make him feel good, and it absolutely makes her feel good. She moans gently into the kiss to assure him of that.

It feels good when Natasha rocks her hips against him and Bucky tips his head back in a low moan. He had told himself that he wouldn't have intercourse with her because he wasn't ready and while Bucky thinks he's going to stick with that for now, it feels damn good to have Natasha grinding against him.

"I didn't want to...I wanted to take it slow," he murmurs. "I want to make sure it's right before I go all the way. I don't want to hurt you."

She breaks the kiss enough to bring her hand that was wandering his chest up to her cheek and brush a thumb over his lower lip as she looks at him with hungry eyes.

"No one said we had to have sex... could just get off like this even..." she says voice low and hot. She actually intends to slip down and suck him off in a bit, but sometimes she likes to get herself all worked up too.

"Do you want me to stop it?"

"No, no, I don't want you to stop," Bucky says. He thinks he even sounds nervous which is probably not good. He's enjoying himself, more than enjoying, but it's also kind of overwhelming at the same time. He puts his hands at her hips and cups them so he can rock up against her.

"It just feels like a first time for me, that's all. I haven't had sex in a long time."

He knows, he knows he and Natasha were together but he doesn't remember and this feels like the first time he's wanted it and chosen it since 1945.

She slows her hip movements, but doesn't pause as she strokes over his cheek. He's over thinking it and it's a mess. She's rushing through her head trying to think on how to fix this situation and she just sighs against his lips.

"My darling, how do we get you to turn off your brain and just feel?" She asks but she's not looking for an answer to the question.

Instead she just reaches between them and wraps a hand around his cock and gives it a few strokes long and slow.

"Should I do this? Tell you how good your cock feels when I grind against it? Make a bigger mess of it all?" She's listing off possibilities between kisses, but the only thing she's doing is stroking him with her hand.

"I just need to relax, I know," Bucky says. Then his breath comes sharp because Natasha's wrapped her hand around his cock and it feels so good that he doesn't even know what to do. It's been so long since he's been touched that he feels like he's going to catch fire.

"Please don't stop touching me? Please?"

If she stops touching him, he'll die.

"I got you.." she reassures him and keeps stroking him. It's at that time she leans in to start kissing him, hoping that if she can occupy his mouth it will help occupy his brain a little bit.

Her strokes are long, slow, but firm. It only takes a few times before she stops for a moment and reaches between her own legs to coat her fingers before wrapping them back around them letting him clearly know how wet he has made her. Once she's stroking him again she breaks the kiss.

"I know you love this... you can let go at any time baby."

Bucky's brain is going a million miles a minute but then Natasha is kissing him and it seems to just stop for a while. She has her hand wrapped around his cock and then she does something that just makes him short-circuit -

She reaches between her own legs and wets her fingers before wrapping them around him again. God, she wants him. She wants him.

Bucky kisses her hard and when he comes, it feels like the weight of the world is finally off his shoulders. Jesus Christ. Finally.

She grins against the kiss as he comes, jerking his hips up into her hand and keeps stroking him all the way through it. She only breaks it once she's sure he's done and pulls back to grin at him.

"Mmm. Do you feel better now baby?" She asks all soft, voice fond like she doesn't want to overwhelm him with the options. She shifts off him and moves to lay down next to him, unbothered by the mess that is her hand she just lays it on Bucky's chest where half of his come ended up anyways.

"Yeah," Bucky says. "I do feel better. A lot better." Nothing happened to him when he was with her and he feels closer to Natasha, not violated. It's...good. It's good to share that with someone again.

"I didn't do anything for you, though," he murmurs. "I have to do something about that. I can't just...not. You deserve it."

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