ostavil | 001 wakanda

001 wakanda

There's peace in Wakanda. Bucky had spent a little while under the ice while Shuri figured out a way to work on his deprogramming and while it's been a painful process, it's a necessary one and he's glad for all her work on the tangled knot that's HYDRA and the mess inside his brain. It's all wired incorrectly, a bomb that never went off but still needs to be defused, and he's scared every time she goes in there that something will go wrong and he'll attack her; it hasn't happened yet.

When he isn't working with her or Ayo, he has a little hut to himself where there are goats and sometimes children come visit him to see the curious white man who has taken up on the fringes of Wakandan society. Steve has visited a few times but when they announce a visitor this time, it's apparently not Steve. They're still at the palace being received, though, so Bucky takes the time to tidy up where he's been staying as much as he can one-handed; he's neat by nature but he also isn't used to having company come by either.

Who could it be? Sam? Sharon? Bucky isn't sure who would come to visit him aside from those two and Steve. Tony Stark certainly wouldn't and he isn't sure the Wakandan government would even let him in. Would Wanda come to see him? He's not certain. He imagines she's in hiding the same as he is, trying to avoid the Sokovia Accords and their inevitable consequences on her. It seems she's suffering more from them than anyone else, even himself, so he doesn't think she'd risk coming to see him.

He catalogs the other people he knows and he comes up with Natasha. He's got a strange history with her. He's shot her twice while the Winter Soldier but curiously, both times, he'd shot her non-fatally. It's almost as if he'd known that she needed to live even if he didn't know her and that's not what the Winter Soldier does. He doesn't leave loose ends. He kills whoever is necessary, even an innocent bystander, and Natasha has been actively opposing him both times he's encountered her. Even when he'd been activated by Zemo he'd attacked her but didn't take her down. There's something in him that protects her and he wonders why that is and always has. He doesn't know why she'd visit him but he wouldn't turn it down, either, so when he hears someone at the door he calls for them to come inside.

"Come in, I'm not busy." He's just finishing up wiping down a counter in what counts for his kitchen and when he comes into view of the visitor, he sees that it is Natasha. Curious.

"Hi."

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She picks up on the awkwardness that he’s feeling and she just melts a little more pulling him in for a hug so she can lean in and kiss his cheek for a moment.

“Sweetheart, you just made sure to check with me to make sure you understand how important something like that is to me. That is smooth and caring — I’m the idiot who turned it into a joke..”

She pulls back and looks him in the eye and shrugs. “I guess sometimes I’m still bitter about the work I had to do sometimes when I was in the room…”

"I'm bitter about it too. What I remember of being the Winter Soldier...I got used too. Maybe not the same was as Widows because you have to use your sexuality to get information, to eliminate targets. I remember being locked up in my body while I got used."

On this, they can agree, and Bucky is sad that they can. Nobody should have to go through the things they've been through.

"It's not fair to have to use something as intimate as sex as a weapon."

She nods, it's true and he's right. They both have been through too much and it's not fair for either of them.

"It was too much for both of us, but now we're out -- and we never have to go back James. Instead we get to be the good guys..." She says and looks at his eyes carefully trying to judge how he feels about the idea of working in the field at all and adds.

"Or you can be a cute stay at home boyfriend, who keeps a lot of plants and cooks dinner."

"I'm not sure if I'm ready to go back out there," he admits. "So I might be staying at home for a while." Bucky does stumble over "boyfriend" a little and turn it over in his mind because that implies that Natasha wants something with him, something real, and it's a little hard to believe that she does even knowing their history together.

"You ready to agree to that? Being in a relationship? Or was boyfriend just casual and something to make the joke flow well?"

She moves her hand from his hair down to his cheek to cup his face giving him a soft smile.

"Darling, I figure whenever you want that, I will want that. Whenever it is..." she says softly with a smile. "You got me wrapped around your finger and don't even know it."

Then she gets the impulse and she leans in to kiss him, because well, she's not sure it will do them any harm and she wants to kiss him. Besides, he's looked at her like he'd like to kiss her often and she can't help but want to kiss him.

So she does, it's soft and gentle, and slow but it's clearly romantic trying to pour all her feelings over him so she can stop talking about it. She hates words sometimes, and there's been so many words between them recently.

The kiss is a surprise but perhaps it shouldn't have been. Natasha's lips are soft and Bucky hasn't kissed anyone in so long that he doesn't even know where to start. It's easy to remember, though, and he puts his hands at Natasha's waist and deepens it after a few moments.

It feels good to kiss her, to resolve some of these feelings that have been bouncing around in his head, and some of the confusion he's been feeling is melting away. She's said over and over that she's a sure thing, that she's waiting on him, but he hasn't felt that truly until right now.

She let's him kiss her slow, gentle, but she wraps his legs around his waist because she can, keeping him there, close. When the kiss breaks she doesn't let him go and instead just smiles against them for a moment resting her forehead against his.

"Stop worrying, and just feel yeah?" she says softly, a promise something that both of them can do. "It'll all work out, we just have to let it okay?"

"It's really okay that I'm not him?"

Bucky is nervous about it, truly nervous, and he doesn't want to ruin this thing he wants because he's missing his memories. He wants everything. He wants to have someone care about him so he can care about them back and have something to tether him so he doesn't feel so lost.

"Just be you, James."

It's a statement, a hint of a order behind the voice. She's not going to spend a decade arguing this with him but she knows she'll have to remind him for a while now. She's starting to think that maybe he needs a stronger push to tell him these things then her wishy-washy answers of that she'll always be there waiting or whatever.

"Stop trying to compare things and just be you."

"Did you still want to get that shower?"

Natasha had said his hair looked fine today but you don't always have to wash your hair in the shower and Bucky thinks that's a way to maybe...relive something. Maybe it's a stupid idea but if she's up for it, he is, and he thinks maybe it's a good start on being together.

She's still got her legs wrapped around him as he asks and she hums for a moment like she's considering it. She's not really, but a girl can't be too eager to get naked with her ex that would just be weird. Okay, well, the entire situation is weird already.

"I suppose we could try that if you carry me, because I'm pretty damn comfortable right here, Soldat."

Bucky laughs at that. If carrying her is the price to get her to share a shower with him, he thinks that actually benefits him more than exchanging anything. It's something he'd like to do regardless, not to trade for something else.

It's nothing to pick her up into his arms and she's so light she might as well be a duffel bag. He lifts her up with her legs still wrapped around him and makes his way to the bathroom that way before setting her down.

"One carry for Natasha Romanoff so I think that means one shower for Bucky Barnes, yeah?"

"I can't argue with that logic, James," She says teasingly and tugs off her t-shirt. She's wearing a sports bra under it, practical, like she does pretty much all the time that's not a specific date night or anything like that. Look, she's a practical woman and it just makes sense.

She throws her shirt at him playfully.

"Next time you're taking me to a hotel that has a big bath, just so you know. I like baths."

"I think it would be a lot more fun in a big bath," Bucky agrees. He tugs off his own t-shirt but he doesn't have the benefit of another layer beneath it so it's bare skin he shows immediately and not more clothes.

He reaches down and pops the button on his jeans before he thinks about it and he decides that if he thinks too much about this, he'll get nervous, and he doesn't want to get nervous. No. He needs to just strip and be done with it.

So he does.

He leans over to start the shower and only after he has it going does he look back at Natasha. He keeps his eyes on her face for the moment, trying to see her reaction.

"Are you ready?"

She might have spent a little too much time checking out his cute butt while he stripped to have actually done anymore herself. So instead she just finds an excuse to delay him for a moment while she strips down the rest of the way herself.

"Tie your hair back, don't get it wet." She instructs before kicking off her underwear and hopping in the shower ahead of him blushing a little bit. She's not even sure why she's blushing or nervous but she is. She feels like she did when they first met all over again.

Bucky ties his hair back like she suggests and by the time he does, Natasha's already in the shower. Maybe it's a weird first date but they've done it before even if he doesn't remember it and maybe it's a way to be intimate without being completely intimate yet.

He steps into the shower and sets his hands on her shoulders, trying to keep her close to him even if the shower sort of forces that.

"Tell me why you call me James. Did I not remember I was Bucky when I was him? Or do you just like James better?"

She leans back into his touch relaxing under the water, closing her eyes as he asks the question. It's easy to give into his hands, they're so familiar, even if one is a different metal then it now was. It's hard to argue that the combination of flesh and metal was the thing that made her relax though.

"I just like the name James, it suits you. We didn't know your name before. I used to call you My Soldier or my darling or my love depending on the day."

In truth she'd also referred to him as The American or The Soldier around other people, but she didn't think that's what he was asking. He was asking about what she called her on her own.

"So it's something you picked for me now, then," Bucky says. Somehow, he likes that better. It's not something the old him had with her and she carried on but something she learned about him and decided on after she met him now.

"Then I'm glad you use it. I liked it anyway but now it feels like something that's between us, you know? Something new. Not that the old things are bad but I like knowing that the name is something just between us now and not something the old me had."

He chances looking down and sees her breasts and the muscles of her arms and stomach; Natasha is not an idle woman and he loves that about her.

She's quite for a moment, not sure how to react to that. It's really interesting to her that she's here, naked with him, and he's still caught up about what they previously had. She wants to get his mind off it still, but she's not sure if it's the right way.

It feels too much like a widows job, to turn and kiss him and touch him and let him turn his brain off and just feel. Yet, she's fresh out of ideas otherwise so she does just that quietly she turns in his arms and presses a kiss to his shoulder, her hands moving to wrap around him as she presses her body against his pulling him more closely into the spray of the water so they're both just close and warm.

The kiss shouldn't be a surprise but it is and he folds Natasha in his arms and kisses her like it's his next breath of air. She has her body pressed up against him and she's slick from water and smooth skin.

He runs his hands down her back to put them at her hips but doesn't move them any lower right now, just wanting to make sure that they're both okay with touching more.

She's surprised when he pulls her into the kiss but melts into it a little bit enjoying it. It's soft and slow and lazy like they have no where to be, or anything to do, which she supposes is exactly right. She has a few days here in Wakanda, even if she hadn't been planning on it, but things were going much better then the last time.

When the kiss breaks she gives him a grin.

"I can tell you wanna grab my ass, it's okay, James. You can do whatever feels right to you."

Bucky laughs at that and ducks his head a little, embarrassed at being caught out. Maybe he shouldn't because she wants to be in a relationship with him and this is apparently not the first time they've done this but it's the first time he remembers it and is doing it as himself.

He slides his hands down to her ass, though, and squeezes her ass before kissing her again.

"Am I that easy to read?"

She's torn between pressing her ass back into his hands and forward into his body, feeling him turned on. She gives in and presses her ass back into his hand. She leans in to give his jaw a couple of kisses.

"I have the advantage of knowing your body language..." she says teasingly before asking. "If you don't want me to assume these things though, you can tell me how you want me to take care of your little attention seeking bit there.."

"Oh, so it's attention seeking now? Good to know," Bucky says, laughing softly. Bucky squeezes her ass and then reaches for his soap because he wants to feel her skin all soaped up and slick against his hand.

"Let me wash your back where you can't reach," he says, stroking her skin. "Charity and all of that."

"Your dick against my stomach? Yeah it seems like it wants attention..." she teases him and gives his lips a quick peck before she turns around for him, letting him wash her back because that's what he wants. She's not going to stop from giving him what he wants, besides it feels nice to have those hands on her.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure you're just touching me for charity, absolutely nothing in it for you at all, Darling?"

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