ostavil | rain meme for marriageable

rain meme for marriageable

( It's been a few weeks since he'd met Daphne trying to clear debris from the big storm that basically wrecked all of September and there's another storm coming down but at least this time it's rain and not sticky lorasses or something even more unpleasant. It's not the best weather but he's still glad he managed to get the roof and sides back onto his house before it came up; being outside in this is not his idea of a good time.

That's why he's incredibly confused when there's a blurry figure outside in this weather. There's a crack of lightning and he can see a little more clearly - it's Daphne, soaked through her sky-blue dress and her hair plastered to her head. He throws his door open and motions her inside. He had rebuilt his house a little bigger than he'd found it but it's still small so they'll be close but at least she'll be dry. )

Why are you walking around in this? You could have called or something.

( It's not said with admonishment or anything like that. Daphne's a grown woman and perfectly entitled to walk around in the rain if she wants to but she looks smaller, somehow, with all her clothes dripping with water. She doesn't even have a hat. Damn. )

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( That, he can give her, so when he presses her back against the bed and covers her, he cages her in with his body. Daphne's small, so he knows he probably needs to go slow to start, but that's not a problem. It's never a problem.

When he presses into her, she's so tight that he lets out a low moan and he pulls her legs up around his hips so he can go deeper. )

[ She only just begins to understand what is happening when he lays her down and climbs on top of her, and her heart leaps in her throat. Wordless, she tries to keep her eyes on his face, but curiosity gets the best of her, looking down between their bodies while he adjusts himself to slide between her lips.

It was her mistake to think this would be as simple as his fingers inside her. Just the head of his cock breaching her cunt is too large, too much, her body tensing in rejection, the breath knocked out of her. ]

Ow—

( Shit. Daphne says ow and everything in his body wants to recoil because he's hurt someone he cares about and it's because he's...him. He's always going to hurt everyone he cares about. He shifts enough to pull out of her. )

God, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. Was he smaller than me or something?

[ Even his cock leaving her is agony. She can’t form words, or do more than squirm in pain. Something feels like it has torn in her nether regions.

She shakes her head, needing several seconds to collect herself, vision blurry with tears. Her hands cover her face. Is this what Mama was preparing her for? Was this what she was referring to so cryptically? ]

No. [ Her breath hitching. ] I don’t know. I think something has torn.

( Wait a minute. )

Daphne, have you never had sex before? Because sometimes it hurts the first time, especially if the guy is big.

( He rolls from atop her so he isn't smothering her and tries to decide what to do with this. He hates that he hurt her and he hates that he still wants to have sex with her and those two things bounce around in his head. )

We don't have to try again. I don't need that.

[ The more he speaks, the more shame floods into her. A sense of feeling overly exposed joins it. She hates this nakedness more than any of the nerves she felt before.

Her palms still covering her face, she lets the pace of her heart slow, and the pain to abate before sitting up, batting away tears before she finds words. Her hands fold into her lap, trying to summon back the countenance she’s more familiar with. There is no dignity here. She’ll have to manufacture it. ]

I would like to leave.

Yeah, absolutely. Look, if I ruined our friendship, I'm sorry. That's the last thing I wanted to do, Daphne. I think your dress is probably dry by now.

( The rain has stopped, at least, and she'll be able to go home without getting soaked again. He wants to comfort her but she probably never wants to see his face again so this has turned into exactly the thing he hates: he isn't meant to have this with anyone. He should have known that going in. )

Let me get up and give you some privacy. I wish I could take it back and not hurt you.

( It doesn't take him long to get dressed and get downstairs so she can have her privacy to collect herself. )

[ She watches him go with her lips parted, not knowing what to say, but feeling the weight of unshed tears.

It takes considerably longer for her to dress, and to try to do something about her hair in the state it’s in, which gives her some time to think of what she’s going to say.

She wishes her mother were here. She would know what to do, the right thing to say in this moment. She always knew. But she isn’t.

Though quiet, she’s at least calm as she descends the stairs, holding her skirt in one hand. ]

Bucky?

( He's sitting on the couch when Daphne descends and as soon as she says his name, his head whips up so he can look at her. )

Yeah? What can I do for you?

[ The way he frames that. Her heart hurts. Maybe their friendship is ruined.

She presses her lips together, and looks away. Her jaw works, before returning her gaze. ]

I don’t need anything. I wanted to apologize.

To me? You have nothing to apologize for, Daphne. I hurt you physically and I know part of it is because of...what I am. And I think I need to explain that to you so you understand that I didn't mean to do it and I'm the most sorry I've ever been in my life about this. If I knew it was going to hurt you like that, I never would have taken it that direction.

( He takes a chance and stands to put a hand on her shoulder to squeeze it. )

You did nothing wrong. If you still feel comfortable around me, I would like to have a conversation about my past and some things that I haven't told you. If you don't, you can go. I won't force you to be here. Not now and not ever.

[ Daphne blinks, rapidly, and it seems for a moment that she is without words. It doesn’t last; she snaps out of it, shaking off his hand on her shoulder. ]

No. [ Her head shakes. She turns, pinching her nose the way she has seen Anthony do many times over. They are nothing if not mirrors in many ways. ] No, you’re not listening to me.

You’re… wallowing in your perceived misdeed. God, I am so tired of men wallowing around me. My brother, Simon, now you. And you think it is somehow virtuous, but I assure you it is not. If only you’d listen first, perhaps you would understand that.

( All right, that's not what he expected. He had wanted to comfort Daphne and tell her that he wasn't a monster on purpose but if she thinks he's wallowing, he probably is. He's pretty good at wallowing. He does need to listen to her, though, so he decides he's going to do exactly that. )

All...right. I'm gonna listen, then. If I start wallowing again, you can remind me with a kick or something but right now, I'm all ears.

[ She needs to cool off, before she starts yelling at him, but pacing back and forth is really not giving her any chill, just clarity of mind.

Finally, she stops to look at him square in the eye. ]

I grasp that there are many things I do not know in life. I know that you have many more years on me, and I fully accept there is much I have to learn about you because of that.

[ A deep breath. Here, she does soften. ]

You believe that you hurt me, physically. If anything, you have wounded my vanity. I am the one to blame for my own naivety and for not being forthright. I withheld my virtue from you, and my misfortune, even if involuntary. Hindsight has allowed me to acknowledge that that was my own undoing.

It has nothing to do with you, James. I am not made for this, clearly.

( Her virtue and her vanity? Bucky tries to parse that and comes up with maybe that Daphne was a virgin, which checks out, but not being built for this and hurting her vanity? Well, that's probably not true. Virgin women have sex every day. It just takes warming up. He thought he'd done a good enough job but he didn't have all the information, either. )

Look, I didn't realize you didn't know. I assumed because you had been married, you knew about sex and there's clearly a miscommunication here. But virgins have sex every day, Daphne. You just have to warm up more for that. I don't think that's anything to hurt your...vanity. I can see why you would feel that way, though, if you didn't know.

[ She laughs, a dry sound from her throat, and plucks at the button on one of her gloves. ]

You misunderstand. I am a woman who has been cursed. Branded.

[ Her smile is sardonic. ]

God has already decided that. I see now. [ Resolute, she nods. ] That is why I am married to a man who cannot give me children. It is why I will live my life, alone, with a man that despises me utterly — and I cannot even blame him for that, truly.

And I would not blame you, either, if you regret every part of what has transpired here this night. But I — [ Her breath hitches audibly. ]

( So this is a lot deeper than he thought. He pats the space beside him to invite her to sit if she wants to because this seems like a heavy conversation. )

I regret hurting you physically. I also regret not listening to you before - but I do not regret making you feel good. Making you feel good made me feel good too and you deserve that, Daphne. I know it's a lot for me to ask you to talk about it but...do you want to talk about it? Your marriage and this whole being cursed thing?

[ This time, her laugh is wet, and she has to press her wrist to her nose to try to compose herself. ] Not particularly.

[ She won’t sit. She can’t. She’s sure if she does, she’ll lose all momentum and drown in her own sorrow. ]

It’s silly. I just thought maybe I could have this. With you. You desired me, and I desired you.

( Bucky stands up instead and slips his arm around her. There's clearly more going on here that needs to be talked about but maybe it doesn't need to be talked about right now. He can assure her of one thing though. )

If you want something with me, you can have me. There's stuff you can do in the bedroom that isn't the one act, Daphne, and I showed you one of them. Besides, I like you more than just the physical. I'm fascinated by you. It didn't change.

[ She steps further into his embrace, coaxed by the warmth coming off of him. Even the metal arm cannot diminish that warmth.

She peeks up, her eyes plenty sad. ]

Is that it? Fascination? [ She’s been desired many times over, she realizes that now. Fascinated men for years. ]

No, that's not it. Maybe fascinated was the wrong word. Any time I see you, my heart skips a beat. I feel like the man I was before I went to war. I felt like maybe I could have something good - I feel like I could have something good. I feel like I can trust you with my secrets and you won't hurt me with them. I can be soft with you, Daphne, and I can never be soft.

( He squeezes her lightly. )

You'd rip my heart out if you never spoke to me again. I don't know if I've expressed it well enough or anything but...that's how I feel.

[ Tears gather in her eyes. When he finishes, with a sharp inhale on her part, two spill over. She reaches to cup his cheek with one palm, rubbing the stubble with nothing short of fondness. She steps closer still, hoping he’ll lean down toward her. ]

Well, I could not do that. I may be cursed, and occasionally unkind, but I am not cruel.

( Bucky leans into the touch and closes his eyes, enjoying the feel of it. Honestly, this is better than the rest of it. He hasn't had anyone care about him in entirely too long and it feels good to know that Daphne does. )

If you're cursed, so am I. I've thought I was cursed for almost a hundred years.

[ She presses her forehead against his once he’s close enough, soaking in the full strength of his attention. ]

Do two curses break each other?

Mmm, bet they do. I don't know a lot about curses but I know that there's no curse that would keep me from trying to be with you. I'm not a man who gets scared of curses.

( He chances a kiss, the lightest one he can manage, and pulls his lips away to speak again. )

Are you a woman afraid of curses, Daphne?

rain meme for marriageable

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