ostavil | open post

Bucky is well aware he ought to propose. He has the ring, even, and it's been burning a hole in his proverbial pocket for about two months but he just hasn't found the right time or the right way to ask and so he hasn't. He has it in his head that any proposal he makes just has to be perfect and anything less will be a tarnished memory that they'll look back on and regret a little. He doesn't want that.

He's been living with Natasha in Wakanda for the better part of a year now and it's not like that's changing any time soon but he has no idea how to just...ask. It's only a handful of words, really, but Bucky's from the forties and he feels like it's got to be a hell of a production when it probably doesn't have to be. All in all, it means he's a little jumpier than usual because he's afraid it's written on his face and Natasha is going to guess before he gets to ask.

She's dozing still when he gets up to cook breakfast and he's trying to get it done before she's really awake; maybe he can do it this morning and just get it out and over with (is that something you get over with? probably not.)

It was routine by now; Bucky was usually awake right around daybreak, easing out of bed to tend to his animals and the early morning chores, then it was breakfast in bed and slowly greeting the day, at least for Natasha. She never minded dozing in her soldier's arms for "just a little longer", while he held her close and stroked mismatched fingertips over and across her skin.

Sometimes she pouted when he slipped out of bed, but she simply curled around his pillow, buried her nose into his scent, and drifted right back off, content in the knowledge that she was safe, Bucky was close, and she had absolutely nothing whatsoever to fear. This morning wasn't any different, save for a mild stomach ache that had plagued her for a few days now. Natasha wasn't so obtuse not to know what was going on, of course, but she didn't want to build up any high hopes only to have them dashed on the rocks - again - so she'd decided to wait before 'making sure'.

A sharp clang and rustle coming from the kitchen had her blinking further awake, however, and she almost called out, but the noises settled before she could. Natasha felt her stomach give another roil right about then, and she suddenly flung back the covers and bolted for the bathroom, barely managing to keep her guts on the inside before she made it to the toilet.

Five minutes later, she rinsed her mouth and looked at her reflection in the mirror, gazing pale and wan back at her. She pressed a hand to her abdomen, figuring that little box in the medicine cabinet was pretty much a formality by now.

Bucky's noticed that Natasha hasn't been feeling her best. He's been on high alert for these things since she told him it was possible and he feels like he's been searching for a pregnancy before it's even come to be. When he hears her get sick, he hates that she feels bad but he can't help but feel a skip in his heart because it might just be what they both want.

He just finishes up with breakfast and makes sure to put out juice for her instead of coffee, thinking that would be more welcome. He doesn't know anything about pregnancy other than the vague basics; he's never been around a pregnant woman for any stretch of time.

"Natasha? You okay in there?"

She'd just crawled back into bed when she heard Bucky call out. Once more snug beneath the cool sheets, Natasha hugged his pillow tight and gave an affirm, unwilling to emerge from their former nest just yet. Although breakfast did smell heavenly, scents wafting in from the kitchen, Natasha thought she might just nibble on a biscuit, since her tummy didn't seem to be willing to settle any time soon.

But it flip-flopped for an entirely different reason a few minutes later, when she spied her sweet soldier coming down the hallway, a moderately laden but entirely delectable-smelling breakfast tray in mismatched hands. Her fond smile emerged, and the redhead slowly sat up against a mound of pillows, waiting until he'd deposited his offering safely before pulling him into a slow, good-morning kiss.

"Smells good, babe," she murmured against his lips, nuzzling his nose with hers. "You okay this morning?" She'd noticed his restlessness over the past few weeks, attributing it to perhaps the coming change of weather, a mission or two Steve had managed to coax him on, or even his nightmares, though those had been few and far between, thankfully.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just been worried about you," Bucky says, soothing away any concerns she might have about him acting cagey. He sets the tray down and kisses her softly, wanting to try and comfort her if he could. He's never been sick since getting the serum and he doesn't quite remember what it feels like; it's probably nowhere near pleasant even if it's for a good cause.

"Anything else you need? I wanted to try and get some breakfast together for you in case that'd settle your stomach a little." It's a little overkill and he knows it but he really wants to try and be a good boyfriend (boyfriend? Is that what he is? He ought to be a fiance by now but he needs to get the nerve up to do it.)

"I'm glad to go get it."

He never ceased to melt her heart; if only the rest of the world could witness this James Barnes, well, it might be a better place for it. Natasha only gave her head a minute shake, offered him another smile, and held out her arms instead, wanting him back in them and cuddled close with her, for as long as he'd stay.

"I'm okay," she whispered back, folding down beside Bucky again, immediately burrowing her way into his embrace, her nose pressed beneath his jaw, inhaling his clean morning scent. No matter where they were, they always seemed to just fit together. It always calmed her, particularly whenever she began to feel splintered, off-balance.

This morning, however, Natasha knew exactly why she was feeling more than a little out of sorts. And ironically, it only had her smiling against Bucky's neck, a very small laugh escaping on a huffed breath. "I might eat a bite here in a little while," she told him quietly, then softly reached for his left hand and brought it to rest on her abdomen, beneath her thin tank-top.

"But I think there's someone you should say hello to, first."

"I suspected and I hoped but I wasn't sure," Bucky admits. Now that she really is pregnant, he's got to get a move on with the ring but he has no idea how he's going to do it and not sound like an idiot. He's not really sure that Natasha even wants to be married; it's not like they aren't together without it, honestly, and she's not exactly a normal woman. He doesn't want her to think just because she's pregnant he feels like she's got to be married or something like that.

It's possible he's overthinking this.

"Hi, baby," he says instead, thumb brushing against her skin. "I've got a little while before I get to meet you but you better be good to Mom, all right?"

Natasha had to giggle, such a strange sound to her ears, but she reclined appropriately, stupidly amused at Bucky's conversation with her stomach. She ran a hand through his hair as he spoke, waiting a few moments afterwards before breaking the soft quiet of their bedroom.

"James," Natasha said slowly, fingers still carding through Bucky's long hair, "I love you. I really do. And I hope you know that." Her fingers moved from his hair to cup his face, thumb brushing over his cheekbone. "And I've been thinking...been thinking about it a lot, actually, and..." She paused, nibbling at her lower lip, then went on.

"I don't remember my parents. I don't even know if my last name was even theirs. That's not something I want for our baby, James. I want her - or him - to know who we are, and how much we love her, or him. And to have--to have your last name." Natasha gazed into Bucky's eyes, sincere and honest. "If...if that's something you'd want, too."

Well, there's a door. Bucky knows he's been waiting for the perfect moment to just ask and here it is, door wide open. He leans in and kisses Natasha lightly on the forehead before pulling away with a quick "be right back."

The ring itself is simple. It's a diamond from Wakanda itself, chosen by himself and Shuri because the country means so much to Bucky and he hopes it means a lot to Natasha too. The band is vibranium, indestructible, made of leftover material from his own arm. There'd been enough for the wedding set and while Shuri had huffed she wasn't a jeweler, it still looked good. He pulls out the little box it's in and comes back to bed.

"I've had this for you for a while," Bucky admits. "Since you came home and told me about being able to have kids. I just didn't know how to ask. Will you have me, Natasha Romanoff?"

She blinked when Bucky suddenly pecked her forehead and all but bounced out of bed and down the hallway, more than a little puzzled to see him come rushing back to her, a little breathless but with blue eyes twinkling brighter than she'd ever seen before. A moment of sheer panic washed over her, spying that iconic box in his hand, and Natasha felt her throat freeze up entirely when Bucky opened it, the gorgeous ring within catching the few faint rays of African sunshine and glittering happily in their light.

But she felt her eyes begin to mysteriously sting, and the sincerity in those beautiful blue eyes became a little blurry as a mist clouded her view, and Natasha groped for Bucky's hands to grip them hard, almost unable to believe her own ears. She tried to answer, couldn't, so instead just nodded her head vigorously, far too overcome to even believe he'd asked her.

Out of all the people in the world, and even beyond, Bucky Barnes wanted her.

"...I'll...I'll have you," she finally managed to whisper, tugging him to her for a deep, long kiss. "You and me," she promised, a little breathless. "And this little one. Till the end of the line."

"Good. Steve was tired of hearing me practice asking," Bucky says. It's suaver than he feels, honestly, and when he slides the ring on her finger he feels an overwhelming sense of relief. He's so glad she didn't say no. Steve had said there'd been no way she would but Bucky hadn't been so sure; Natasha isn't like any woman he's ever met before.

"I can't wait until you're my wife. I want to do the ceremony here in Wakanda. I feel like there's no other option for it, really, and the people who matter are going to come here or are already here," Bucky says softly. "I don't know, I'm rambling. Make me stop rambling."

He's so relieved she's said yes that now all the words seem to just be coming too fast.

His wife. Two words Natalia Romanova never thought she'd ever think about herself. Yet, they gave her a subliminal thrill way down in her stomach, next to where she hoped their child was growing. She had to laugh, however, at hearing that he'd been practicing with Steve, of all people, but she was at least thankful that she didn't have to bear the never-ending teasing of her former teammates since the secret was more or less out.

And she'd been the last to know, this time.

"I think T'Challa and Shuri would insist, otherwise," Natasha smiled, gazing at the beautiful diamond sparkling on her hand. The metal was oddly familiar, and it struck her that it was vibranium, and she wouldn't have been surprised to know that it had indeed been part of Bucky's own new prosthetic. Her smile morphed into a grin, and she shrugged a shoulder, leaning in to nuzzle at her soon-to-be husband's nose. "I enjoy your rambling, malyutka. It's cute."

Natasha pressed a soft kiss to his sweet lips, pulling back enough to whisper, "When you wanna do this? Better be soon, or I'll have to wear a balloon tarp for a wedding dress."

"Soon. I sort of jumped the gun on preparations because Steve was so sure you'd say yes," Bucky admits, coloring slightly. "Shuri said I was being stupid, too, for worrying but you know how I am. I overthink things as much as possible."

Bucky had worried about the answer even if he knew deep down that he and Natasha would still be together even if she hadn't wanted to marry. Knowing she did want to marry made him feel like that guy before the war, the one who hadn't seen the atrocities of combat and been used as a weapon. It made him feel like a better version of himself.

"I love you, you know. I don't know if I say that enough."

The blush on his cheeks was beyond adorable, and Natasha found herself smirking like a cat with an entire creamery, but she had to shake her head in amusement and silently admit that Rogers and Shuri were absolutely right; James Barnes was the world's worst at sabotaging himself when it came to overthinking.

"Yes," she agreed, cupping his face fondly, "you do. But that's okay. I'll be here to pull you out of your own head, Sergeant Barnes, that's a promise." Another soft but thorough kiss, and Natasha broke away, laughing softly. "I'm not sure what sort of wedding the Wakandans will put together for us, but I'm sure it'll be memorable." She had absolutely no idea whatsoever about how to plan a wedding. "Although I'm sure Google will be a huge help," she commented, a little thoughtful.

His declaration brought a soft flush to her own cheeks, and Natasha slowly eased into his arms, pulling him down with her and wiggling until they were wrapped around each other once again. "I know. And you don't have to, I see it every single day."

"I heard there's a thing called Pinterest and I should be afraid of it," Bucky says, laughing softly. "But apparently you can get wedding ideas on it? I don't really have ideas aside from getting hitched to you and dancing to some Glen Miller at my reception so everything in between is negotiable."

Bucky's perfectly willing to let Natasha or Shuri or whoever take over the planning of this wedding and just tell him when and where to show up. He's finally done the asking, after all, and that'd been the hardest part. It ought to be smooth sailing from here.

"I've got to find a uniform that fits me. Been a while since I needed one."

Hearing that, Natasha laughed. "Yes," she agreed, "you should. And no, we're not having mason jars or wooden pallets or any of that nonsense in our wedding, sir, so that's right out. Something simple," she said instead, "simple and a little formal, and elegant." A smirk. "Although I doubt the Wakandans would settle for anything less, really." She had the sneaking suspicion that T'Challa, and Shuri, at least, would make it a celebration to remember, and if she and Bucky were the reason for everyone in this country they both loved so much to have a party, that was perfectly fine, too.

Her eyebrows went up when Bucky mentioned his uniform. "Oh. That's right. I'm going to...need a dress, aren't I?" She laughed a little nervously. "I have no idea how to shop for a wedding dress, but I'm sure it'll be a fun search." She nuzzled at him, then kissed him lingeringly, murmuring against his lips, "...you wanna eat now? Or make out a little first?"

"Make out with my fiancee first, then eat," Bucky decides after a moment. He's glad Natasha seems to be on the same non-Pinterest page about the wedding and he wraps his arms around her, pulling her as close to him as he can manage. There's nobody he loves more than this woman, except maybe the child she's carrying, and as difficult as it'd been to get the words out it just feels right to marry her.

He kisses her, slow and deep, and tries to make each kiss flow into the next without a break. It's almost like sharing a heartbeat and a breath, the way they kiss, and he's never felt more in sync with another person as he does Natasha Romanoff. He wonders in the back of his mind if she'll take his name and while the idea of it turns him on, he finds it doesn't matter; they belong to each other no matter who takes whose name.

They'd always just fit together. Years of separation hadn't erased that. Natasha eagerly wound herself around Bucky's solid, thick frame, and kissed him back just as slow, just as deeply, angling her head to slant their lips together in a perfect union. She loved kissing him, loved loving him just as much, this beautiful broken soldier with a healing heart of purest gold. And he was all hers. Now, and forever.

She sighed wonderful contentment into their kisses, caresses gentle and languid, and broke away only for a quick breath, a soft nuzzle, and a curious quip of, "Hmm...Natalia Barnes? How does that sound?" She was more than willing to leave behind anything and everything pertaining to her old life; she wanted nothing more than a family out here on the Wakandan plain, with Bucky and their baby.

"I love you too, you know."

"Natalia? Going back to your original name, then? I don't care what you use as long as you're mine," Bucky says. "But it definitely turns me on to hear you using my last name."

He never even presumed that Natasha would consider taking his last name and the thought of it turns him on like nothing else ever has. God, he's never wanted something so much.

"Take my name, Natasha. Show everyone that you're mine and you belong to me."

"I've been thinking about it. But I've been answering to Natasha for so long, it's beyond second nature by now." She grinned at his admission, taking advantage of his delight to kiss him again, long and languid. "Does it?" A gentle tease, accompanied by the trail of light fingertips down Bucky's torso, gently tugging at the waist of his pants.

"I'm good with that," Natasha breathed against his mouth, hitching a bare knee around Bucky's hip. Then she giggled softly. "Possessive, are we?" Her fingers deftly slipped beneath those sweats, teasing. "I'll take your name, James Barnes. And be yours and never anyone else's."

"All right, future Mrs. Barnes. What are you after right now?" It's pretty damn obvious what she's after and he's willing to give it to her but sometimes a guy just likes to hear it said plain.

He threads his hand deeper in her hair and tugs her close for another kiss, less polite than their previous kisses. Somehow he thinks having sex with his fiancee is going to be better than sex with his girlfriend and maybe that makes him old-fashioned but he is a relic.

"Mrs. Barnes, I do like the sound of that." Natasha chuckled softly, licking Bucky's lips with the tip of her tongue and coiling her fingers around her prize beneath those cumbersome pants. She moaned into his mouth, the sharper tug on her hair sending a subliminal thrill rocketing through her, and he earned her firm squeeze in response. Natasha murmured his name, a pleading entreaty, even as she stroked him long and slow.

"I'm after you," she told him with a playful little growl. "Gonna make me work for it?"

Thoughts of breakfast were quickly fading; Natasha was more than willing to spend the day in bed with her future husband.

"I could make you work for it," Bucky says, pretending to weigh the options. There's really only one option, so far as he's concerned, but he can play at deliberating over a myriad of choices just to screw around with Natasha. They've known each other long enough that this is completely fair game and within the rules.

"What kind of things would you do if I did make you work for it? How would you convince me, Mrs. Barnes, that I should stop all my chores and take you to bed?"

He's actually eager to hear the answer.

Her brows drew down into a playful frown and Natasha pretended to pout a little. Her lower lip pushed forward as her lips pursed, and she managed a convincing sort of whimper, but it devolved into a smirk as she laughed and kissed her fiance again. "My hand around your cock isn't incentive enough?" she grinned against his mouth. She gave him a sharp little tug, just to emphasize the point.

But if he really wanted to play, well, then...

Natasha slowly but firmly pushed Bucky over to his back, slithering astride his body with sinuous grace. It didn't take her very long to have him peeled out of the simple t-shirt, her hands greedily roaming over his thickly muscled torso. She lowered her head, disheveled red curls trailing over his skin as she licked at him, sliding her tongue over each ridge and hollow as she worked her way down his chest, over his abdomen.

Wiggling lower, she tugged on his waistband with her teeth, flicking a gaze upwards through her lashes. "Wanna go back to work?" An innocent inquiry. "Or wanna stay here with me?"

Just the anticipation of what she's about to do is enough to send a shiver down Bucky's spine and he rocks his hips up toward Natasha's mouth and makes a soft, almost whimpering sound. She's got him well and good and, what's worse, is she knows it. Still, it's no loss. It's win/win, really, because they'll both get what they want out of this.

"You drive a hard bargain," he concedes, sliding one hair into her messy curls to feel them slide silken against his fingers. She's damn good at this and he's more than happy to be the recipient of some affection and attention right now.

"Go ahead and give me what you've got, then."

wickedwithbatons; diamonds are forever

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