[she pauses when he asks because of course she hasn't. it's always about the mission. any actual decent guys are pushed to the side in lieu of the next job and the next time she has to leave to do something. anything. it's the nature of the beast.]
Careful, Barnes, or a think you actually care.
[she quirks her smile as a means of deflection but he's hit a spot that comes dangerously close to the truth: he's the only decent guy she's met. Banner doesn't count. Steve's not even close. just this one and she still has the scars low on her abdomen from the bullet he put in her years ago.]
( Bucky scoffs a little and sets the vodka and the shot glasses down on the end table before looking back over at her. He doesn't have nearly enough to do with his hands and now that his bluff's been called and matched, he doesn't think he can keep up the callous cad act with her. He hadn't been good at it back then, either, so all the women he'd slept with had really been gals he'd been okay with bringing back home to his mother.
That's not how it's supposed to really work. )
And what if I did actually care, Romanoff? Does that mean I'm off limits?
[okay, that's fair. like him, she's not sure she can do it anymore, either. when it's just the two of them, there's no one else to impress. no team to be strong for, no appearance she has to keep up.
she steps closer, into his space, to reach for the bottle. it's unfair, she knows it, to press her luck (and her body), but she wants to be serious in that moment.]
( She presses against him and his breath catches in his throat. She's playing dirty and Bucky knows that but he still has to try and keep the upper hand here - at least momentarily. )
Admitting a weakness to you is like asking to be vivisected, you know.
[it's a precious moment to hear the winter soldier catch his breath and her skin flushes with heat because she knows she's gotten to him already. her voice is low and she doesn't pull back, merely tilts her head up to look at him.]
You already have. [bringing a hand to his waist, she inhales slowly.] You're here.
Maybe I was just trying to find out what your weaknesses are? It could be just a recon mission, Romanoff. It doesn't have to mean anything else.
( Except, he's been made, and he knows that she can tell. He might have a pretty good poker face most of the time but Natasha is his better in this kind of game. )
[she wants to tell him that he's a weakness, that she can't afford to care about him, but the truth is that he has been made. that he's there and she knows he cares and it makes her his liability, too.]
Doesn't it?
[it does, they both know it does, at least in this case.]
( Dangerous thing to admit, really, but he's already admitted any number of dangerous things to Natasha Romanoff, what's one more piece of wood on the fire? )
I can trust you. I don't know why I can, but I can. That's bigger than anything else to me.
[she's still too close, so she finally takes a step back, putting those twelve inches between them so that he can feel less crowded. with that step comes the vodka and a shot glass, and she pours herself one before raising an eyebrow at him to ask if he's having one, too.]
It's because we're not like them. We're jagged in all the places they're smooth and while they make hard choices, we make choices that reflect the truth from a certain point of view.
( Bucky nods at the vodka - if he's going to be having heart to hearts with Natasha, he's going to need a little social lubrication. )
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Careful, Barnes, or a think you actually care.
[she quirks her smile as a means of deflection but he's hit a spot that comes dangerously close to the truth: he's the only decent guy she's met. Banner doesn't count. Steve's not even close. just this one and she still has the scars low on her abdomen from the bullet he put in her years ago.]
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That's not how it's supposed to really work. )
And what if I did actually care, Romanoff? Does that mean I'm off limits?
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she steps closer, into his space, to reach for the bottle. it's unfair, she knows it, to press her luck (and her body), but she wants to be serious in that moment.]
Do you?
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Admitting a weakness to you is like asking to be vivisected, you know.
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You already have. [bringing a hand to his waist, she inhales slowly.] You're here.
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( Except, he's been made, and he knows that she can tell. He might have a pretty good poker face most of the time but Natasha is his better in this kind of game. )
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Doesn't it?
[it does, they both know it does, at least in this case.]
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( Dangerous thing to admit, really, but he's already admitted any number of dangerous things to Natasha Romanoff, what's one more piece of wood on the fire? )
I can trust you. I don't know why I can, but I can. That's bigger than anything else to me.
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[she's still too close, so she finally takes a step back, putting those twelve inches between them so that he can feel less crowded. with that step comes the vodka and a shot glass, and she pours herself one before raising an eyebrow at him to ask if he's having one, too.]
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( Bucky nods at the vodka - if he's going to be having heart to hearts with Natasha, he's going to need a little social lubrication. )