It's never been like this for him, either, except the last time he had sex with Natasha. There was no one in between, either, and Bucky is pretty sure there's never going to be anyone else ever again unless Natasha decides she's done with him.
"God, you make me feel good," he says, moving his hips faster as he does. He can't get his hand between them to touch her so he tries to roll his hips in such a way that she gets some stimulation anyway and if he beats her there, he can just focus on her afterward; he's not going to leave her hanging.
For Natasha, sex had never held this sort of urgency, this need to reach the pinnacle of pleasure together, and Alex had hardly, if ever, bothered to ensure hers before his own. What Bucky was giving to her now, however, was magnificent, and Natasha had the idea that it wasn't only her hormones making her this needful.
Sex with Alex had been stoic, planned, and routine. This, however, bordered on wild; her legs around James' waist, fingernails digging into different ink etched into his back, both of them gasping against the other's mouths, and his body delving into hers with every powerful arch of his hips, driving her quite out of her mind.
Natasha dimly heard the large headboard thunk the wall, not quite hard enough to chip the paint due to the size of the massive bed, but the realization that they were moving it with their lovemaking was enough to have her gasping, shaking from her impending climax even as she tightened around his thrusting cock, feeling her loins roil and not from her pregnancy.
Bucky doesn't want to be smug exactly but knowing he can make Natasha come from just this really is a turn-on. So is the thud of the headboard against the wall. He doesn't think he's ever had sex good enough to rock the bed this hard.
He reaches for her hands and pins them up above her head, threading his fingers with hers. It feels good to know Natasha isn't going to pull away from him and wants him there, needs him there, and he doesn't think he's ever going to be able to give her up.
But he doesn't have to and that thought is enough to tip him over the edge too and he's coming, hard.
James pinned her hands above her head, and just that small bit of restraint was enough to throw Natasha over the cliff and into a mind-shattering climax, her entire body going rigid for a breathless moment, then every muscle spasming all at once, bucking her hips against Bucky's thrusts as she squeezed him tightly. In the throes of her own orgasm, she felt him stiffen above her, convulse, then tremble his own release into her, his guttural groan the most beautiful thing she'd ever heard.
When she was able to breathe yet again, Natasha went boneless, languishing against the stirred sheets as she heard her heartbeat still galloping about in her chest, and her lower body felt as if it'd just been poured out of a blender. But molten gold still glittered beneath her skin, and small tremors of pleasure still feathered over her sensitive skin. She was tangled with her lover, both of them sweaty and spent.
"God, I love you. You're the best I've ever had," Bucky gasps and it's honestly the truth and not just something to say in the afterglow. He releases Natasha's hands but he doesn't roll off her, not yet, and just enjoys the soft feel of her beneath him.
"Poke me when you're ready for me to move," Bucky says. "But right now I don't think my bones are gonna work. Nothing's working except my mouth, apparently, because that never stops."
This has been what he was after all along with her, just this.
Her amused chuckle was a breathless laugh, because honestly, Natasha didn't have the strength enough to even lift an arm, just now. She did lower her lashes and let her lover's voice wash over her, because he was right: even if he was in traction and ended up a quadriplegic, he'd still babble a mile a minute.
"No," she agreed, voice still airish, "it really doesn't." She finally managed to get one hand working, and gently threaded it through Bucky's dark hair. "Do your bandmates know you babble like this? Your sister said you've never been one to hold your tongue."
"It's a known issue," Bucky says, laughing softly. "But I don't say the same kinds of things to other people. Just to you." He's just impossibly happy and he hopes that Natasha is too because if she's not, he'll do anything to make that happen.
"Was it good?"
Maybe a stupid question to ask since they both came and now they're too exhausted to move but Bucky has to know because the last time they had sex, they'd ended up...not even broken up because they weren't together but on bad terms and he doesn't want that.
"Oh?" That admission brought another breathy chuckle. "Lucky me." It was intended as mild sarcasm, but there was still a grain of truth in it. Natasha knew she was incredibly lucky, given the circumstances. Things could have been much, much worse, after all.
Then Bucky asked that, and Natasha blinked, considering the question. She couldn't answer right away, mainly because she didn't know how to answer.
After a few moments of silent thought, however, she finally sighed - in contentment, not resignation - and nodded, a small smile on her lips. "Yeah. Yes, James, it was good."
"Just wanted to be sure," he says softly. "I didn't want to mess things up again like I did last time."
Last time hadn't been about the sex, he doesn't think, but he needs to be sure because he doesn't think he can handle another heartbreak and he doesn't think Natasha can either, even if she might not admit it to him or anyone else.
"I just want you to enjoy being with me, you know?"
"I know." And she did know. He wanted it so much, it was almost painful to hear. But Natasha firmly pushed that aside; there was no room here for regrets. "And I do, James." She could give him that. It was only words, after all.
Nevertheless, one of her eyebrows quirked. "I wouldn't have begged for you just now if I didn't." Well, mostly. Some of it she could chalk up to her hormones, but Natasha didn't really think that was all fair.
"Just wait," she heard herself quip, "before long I'll look like I swallowed a pumpkin and won't be able to keep my hands off of you." Then her cheeks heated, skin flushing all the way down her breasts, as she realized just what she'd said.
"I'm gonna be real happy when we hit that stage," he teases, then tapers off and goes quiet for a moment. It's not often that he's quiet but he's just worried and he needs to shake it off before he starts worrying Natasha and getting them in a spiral all over again.
"Do you think you might be able to love me someday? I just want...I feel so much, you know? And I want you to feel it too. It feels so good to love someone, Natasha. I don't want you to miss out on that."
Bucky rolls over but he pulls her close, not willing to be away. "I'm not like him."
"...I hope so." And it was the truth. Natasha chewed on her lower lip, stifling a squeak when Bucky rolled them over, but shivered and snuggled into his warmth. She did voice a very soft sigh when he mentioned Alex, however.
"I know you aren't. And I thank God for that." Every day since finding out she was pregnant, in fact. "It'll just...take me a while, you know? To figure it all out. To get this baby born." Because she was definitely committed to that, now.
Time for a new segue. "What's for supper? More breakfast?"
"Mm, probably need real food," Bucky says. "But I'm going to order it in because I don't really wanna cook or go out. We had Thai, maybe Italian? I don't know, we can look at all the menus. Everything delivers so we don't really have to worry about choices."
He can eat anything but he wants to make sure the baby has everything it needs to grow but he's not gonna harp on Natasha about it. It's her body.
"I'm not a salad guy but there's a couple places that do that. I remember you said you liked those, right?"
"Real food sounds good," Natasha agreed. And ordering in sounded even better. She really didn't want to put on normal clothes right now. "Italian sounds great. I could put away some manicotti or some chicken parm." Alfredo sounded great, too, and just thinking about garlic breadsticks had her stomach growling, to her mild embarrassment.
"Your son agrees," the redhead observed with a light chuckle. She gently wriggled out of Bucky's hold and hunted around for her nightgown, haphazardly tossed to the other side of the large bed. "Add some garlic bread to the order? And yeah, I love a good salad." Natasha slipped the gown over her head, saying as she straightened the fabric, "Do you know of a good Italian place up here that delivers?"
"Yeah, I do. There's a family style place that delivers. I'll put an order in online for extra breadsticks and the rest of it. I eat a ton and you need to eat a ton so they'll make a good sale. Manicotti and chicken parm for you? Both?"
If she wants both, she gets both.
"I'll get 'em to bring the salads too. I usually eat stromboli but we might as well just get a little of everything and share it around."
"That sounds good." It really did, when she thought about it, and Natasha gave an approving nod before slipping into the bathroom to clean up a little. She figured since she'd been wearing her nightgown for a day and a half, it was high time to put on some normal clothes, even if she planned on getting right back in bed after eating.
Bucky orders half a restaurant and when it gets delivered, he goes out to the car himself and starts helping to unload it all. He had tipped through the app but he tips the driver again with cash and goes to the staircase to yell up for Natasha.
"Hey, food's here! It's gonna get cold if you don't get your pretty ass down here."
There's no one there but them and maybe it's not something he'd say around people but it's something he'll say now.
Natasha was actually on her way down the stairs when she heard her betrothed bawling for her from the kitchen; she just huffed an exasperated laugh and meandered into the labyrinthine room, not surprised to see the plethora of paper bags decorating the marble island.
"Good God, James," she had to laugh, peering into one to discover about twenty breadsticks, complete with four different dipping sauces, "are you feeding the homeless?"
She could smell garlic, butter, cloves, and the truly wonderful scent of vinaigrette dressing, all of which were making her stomach even more insistent than it already was. However, "Mm, this I suggest we eat here in the kitchen, because it'll be way too expensive to get red sauce out of the carpet in the living room."
"Yeah, we're eating in the kitchen. Not getting sauce on my good carpet. I got some class, you know," Bucky says, winking at her. He actually decorated parts of this house and Becca did the rest but there's bits of him in it. It's not a designer home necessarily, it's lived in.
"And I got so much food so we'd have leftovers and so I made sure to get everything you want. If you get everything, you can try everything. If I don't order everything, you might not get what you want."
She'd slipped into "her" room for a change of clothes: soft cream-colored sweater and black yoga pants, very comfortable. The house was a little cool, utilizing the open doors and the Pacific breeze instead of centralized heating and cooling, but the salty chill nevertheless felt wonderful. Brooklyn agreed, Natasha noticed with a smile, since the pup was stretched out in front of the open patio door, the ocean wind lightly ruffling his fur.
Coming around the island to fetch plates, Natasha let Bucky unload the feast. She did sneak several delicious garlicky breadsticks, biting into one even before filling her plate. "Mmmm," it was a full-mouthed moan of approval. "These are great." She polished it off, adding, "I hope you have this place on speed-dial, because we should definitely order from here once a week."
"Oh, yeah, they know me. I love this place. So does Becca. Plenty of late night orders from there," Bucky says. "We go in person sometimes too which...I'm not always gonna keep you locked up in here. We just gotta fight the cameras and it's a pain in the ass. I miss when I wasn't famous."
The money is great and being able to do what he loves is a dream but Bucky hates the press and notoriety that comes with it.
"Can't even have a disagreement in a bar without someone taking pictures. Damn shame."
Natasha could relate. She'd built a career around smoothing over those "incidences", after all. "Yeah," she said slowly, spooning manicotti on her plate, staring at it absently. "I know how it goes." She slid onto a stool, picked up her fork, lowered it again, and sighed.
"And we're going to have to deal with more than our share, aren't we." It wasn't really a question. As a PR lawyer, Natasha knew the press were going to go berserk when this news made it out, and just the thought of it was enough to make her head ache. But she knew Bucky kept good security, but she also knew that he had a temper - even if he did his best to keep it under control - and she also knew that he knew how to brawl, if it ever (God forbid) came to that.
Glancing up, she caught his gaze, held it, and said seriously, "Just...promise me, right now, no fights. No punches. No shoving. No physical remonstrance of any kind. Please?"
"Yes ma'am," Bucky says, giving her a contrite look. "I'll keep my tattooed hands to myself. I won't do anything wrong for at least the next five years."
It's a joke, he's not intending to do anything wrong after that either but he has to play around a little or he just doesn't feel like himself. He reaches for a breadstick and spins it around his fingers like a drumstick but fails miserably, dropping it on the bar.
Natasha wasn't...entirely fooled. Nor satisfied with the lackadaisical answer. She put down her fork, placed her hands in her lap, straightened her spine, and stared back at her intended, a single arched eyebrow slowly climbing over dark green eyes.
She'd worked her ass off to get his reputation out of the sewer that he'd crammed it into, and she really didn't appreciate the levity when trying to speak about serious matters. Handling this crap was her job; she'd built a reputation of her own by doing so, and, even though she knew he didn't mean anything by his joking, it still irked her that he didn't seem to take it all that seriously.
But getting in to an argument was pointless; she'd learned that with Alex. So instead of calling him out about it, Natasha instead inhaled a quiet but deep breath, picked up her fork, and cut a bite out of the ravioli on her plate, leaving the frost hanging over the island between them.
Bucky sees the frosty look and he drums his fingers against the counter, wondering what the fuck he did this time to ruin this shit. He's always ruining it, that's a given, but there's no telling what part of it was the fuck up. Probably just his general personality at this point.
"I'm just fucking around, Natasha. I've got a kid, I'm not going to get arrested. You have got to learn to take a joke or it's never going to work between us. Life is supposed to be fun and if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?"
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"God, you make me feel good," he says, moving his hips faster as he does. He can't get his hand between them to touch her so he tries to roll his hips in such a way that she gets some stimulation anyway and if he beats her there, he can just focus on her afterward; he's not going to leave her hanging.
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Sex with Alex had been stoic, planned, and routine. This, however, bordered on wild; her legs around James' waist, fingernails digging into different ink etched into his back, both of them gasping against the other's mouths, and his body delving into hers with every powerful arch of his hips, driving her quite out of her mind.
Natasha dimly heard the large headboard thunk the wall, not quite hard enough to chip the paint due to the size of the massive bed, but the realization that they were moving it with their lovemaking was enough to have her gasping, shaking from her impending climax even as she tightened around his thrusting cock, feeling her loins roil and not from her pregnancy.
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He reaches for her hands and pins them up above her head, threading his fingers with hers. It feels good to know Natasha isn't going to pull away from him and wants him there, needs him there, and he doesn't think he's ever going to be able to give her up.
But he doesn't have to and that thought is enough to tip him over the edge too and he's coming, hard.
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When she was able to breathe yet again, Natasha went boneless, languishing against the stirred sheets as she heard her heartbeat still galloping about in her chest, and her lower body felt as if it'd just been poured out of a blender. But molten gold still glittered beneath her skin, and small tremors of pleasure still feathered over her sensitive skin. She was tangled with her lover, both of them sweaty and spent.
And she had no urge to move, not just yet.
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"Poke me when you're ready for me to move," Bucky says. "But right now I don't think my bones are gonna work. Nothing's working except my mouth, apparently, because that never stops."
This has been what he was after all along with her, just this.
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"No," she agreed, voice still airish, "it really doesn't." She finally managed to get one hand working, and gently threaded it through Bucky's dark hair. "Do your bandmates know you babble like this? Your sister said you've never been one to hold your tongue."
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"Was it good?"
Maybe a stupid question to ask since they both came and now they're too exhausted to move but Bucky has to know because the last time they had sex, they'd ended up...not even broken up because they weren't together but on bad terms and he doesn't want that.
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Then Bucky asked that, and Natasha blinked, considering the question. She couldn't answer right away, mainly because she didn't know how to answer.
After a few moments of silent thought, however, she finally sighed - in contentment, not resignation - and nodded, a small smile on her lips. "Yeah. Yes, James, it was good."
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Last time hadn't been about the sex, he doesn't think, but he needs to be sure because he doesn't think he can handle another heartbreak and he doesn't think Natasha can either, even if she might not admit it to him or anyone else.
"I just want you to enjoy being with me, you know?"
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Nevertheless, one of her eyebrows quirked. "I wouldn't have begged for you just now if I didn't." Well, mostly. Some of it she could chalk up to her hormones, but Natasha didn't really think that was all fair.
"Just wait," she heard herself quip, "before long I'll look like I swallowed a pumpkin and won't be able to keep my hands off of you." Then her cheeks heated, skin flushing all the way down her breasts, as she realized just what she'd said.
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"Do you think you might be able to love me someday? I just want...I feel so much, you know? And I want you to feel it too. It feels so good to love someone, Natasha. I don't want you to miss out on that."
Bucky rolls over but he pulls her close, not willing to be away. "I'm not like him."
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"I know you aren't. And I thank God for that." Every day since finding out she was pregnant, in fact. "It'll just...take me a while, you know? To figure it all out. To get this baby born." Because she was definitely committed to that, now.
Time for a new segue. "What's for supper? More breakfast?"
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He can eat anything but he wants to make sure the baby has everything it needs to grow but he's not gonna harp on Natasha about it. It's her body.
"I'm not a salad guy but there's a couple places that do that. I remember you said you liked those, right?"
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"Your son agrees," the redhead observed with a light chuckle. She gently wriggled out of Bucky's hold and hunted around for her nightgown, haphazardly tossed to the other side of the large bed. "Add some garlic bread to the order? And yeah, I love a good salad." Natasha slipped the gown over her head, saying as she straightened the fabric, "Do you know of a good Italian place up here that delivers?"
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If she wants both, she gets both.
"I'll get 'em to bring the salads too. I usually eat stromboli but we might as well just get a little of everything and share it around."
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Well, so to speak.
She had to stop and stare at herself in the mirror for a long minute, or three, and wonder just how in the hell this was going to work. Why was this so hard? Her fiancé was gorgeous, rich, sweet, and head over heels for her, so what was the problem?
Alas that she didn't have a ready answer.
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"Hey, food's here! It's gonna get cold if you don't get your pretty ass down here."
There's no one there but them and maybe it's not something he'd say around people but it's something he'll say now.
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"Good God, James," she had to laugh, peering into one to discover about twenty breadsticks, complete with four different dipping sauces, "are you feeding the homeless?"
She could smell garlic, butter, cloves, and the truly wonderful scent of vinaigrette dressing, all of which were making her stomach even more insistent than it already was. However, "Mm, this I suggest we eat here in the kitchen, because it'll be way too expensive to get red sauce out of the carpet in the living room."
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"And I got so much food so we'd have leftovers and so I made sure to get everything you want. If you get everything, you can try everything. If I don't order everything, you might not get what you want."
Perfectly logical.
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Coming around the island to fetch plates, Natasha let Bucky unload the feast. She did sneak several delicious garlicky breadsticks, biting into one even before filling her plate. "Mmmm," it was a full-mouthed moan of approval. "These are great." She polished it off, adding, "I hope you have this place on speed-dial, because we should definitely order from here once a week."
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The money is great and being able to do what he loves is a dream but Bucky hates the press and notoriety that comes with it.
"Can't even have a disagreement in a bar without someone taking pictures. Damn shame."
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"And we're going to have to deal with more than our share, aren't we." It wasn't really a question. As a PR lawyer, Natasha knew the press were going to go berserk when this news made it out, and just the thought of it was enough to make her head ache. But she knew Bucky kept good security, but she also knew that he had a temper - even if he did his best to keep it under control - and she also knew that he knew how to brawl, if it ever (God forbid) came to that.
Glancing up, she caught his gaze, held it, and said seriously, "Just...promise me, right now, no fights. No punches. No shoving. No physical remonstrance of any kind. Please?"
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It's a joke, he's not intending to do anything wrong after that either but he has to play around a little or he just doesn't feel like himself. He reaches for a breadstick and spins it around his fingers like a drumstick but fails miserably, dropping it on the bar.
"Nothing to make you be a lawyer."
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She'd worked her ass off to get his reputation out of the sewer that he'd crammed it into, and she really didn't appreciate the levity when trying to speak about serious matters. Handling this crap was her job; she'd built a reputation of her own by doing so, and, even though she knew he didn't mean anything by his joking, it still irked her that he didn't seem to take it all that seriously.
But getting in to an argument was pointless; she'd learned that with Alex. So instead of calling him out about it, Natasha instead inhaled a quiet but deep breath, picked up her fork, and cut a bite out of the ravioli on her plate, leaving the frost hanging over the island between them.
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"I'm just fucking around, Natasha. I've got a kid, I'm not going to get arrested. You have got to learn to take a joke or it's never going to work between us. Life is supposed to be fun and if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?"
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