"They probably won't let me," Bucky says sadly. "I'm too dangerous. Unbonded Alpha with half a brain."
It's been better with Natasha, though, even in rut because he feels more like himself since he's felt in longer than he can remember. He's starting to remember things, not that he's sharing them, and the confusion he used to feel all the time is starting to be there less and less. Maybe it's rut - you can't think about anything but sex - but maybe it isn't.
"Probably gonna suppress me after this is over. It's what they did before. They just put me on ice every time it happened."
"You're an American citizen," Natasha reminded him. "Tony Stark can't just...freeze you like you're a robot that doesn't have any rights." God, that was beyond illegal, even for Stark. "Medical suppressants, though...that's not really a bad idea."
Her hand still sifted through his hair, thoughtful as they rested together. He was still knotted inside her, so moving wasn't really an option. "Suppressant medication has come a long way," Natasha told him. "And if we can't find any pharmaceuticals here in the States, I'm sure we could in Wakanda. T'Challa and his people are the best scientists in the world. I don't doubt they could come up with something to help you, James."
Either way, they didn't have to puzzle it out now. "Just relax," she advised. "You don't have to worry about it now."
"The thing is, I don't want to be suppressed," Bucky says. It's a stupid thing because it's dangerous to be an unsuppressed Alpha without an omega around to balance them out but he just doesn't want to have to be held back anymore. He's been trapped behind a wall for all these years and suppressants just feel like another wall.
"I was stuck inside my body and not able to do anything for so long, you know? And the idea of suppressants kind of feels like doing it all over again. Like I'm not safe to be with people because I'm a monster. Maybe that's stupid but I just don't want to do it. I just know I'm going to have to or they'll lock me up every time I have a rut."
Natasha could understand how Barnes might construe it that way, especially given the mental torture he'd undergone at the hands of those using him for less than his own good. A psychological hurdle he might never overcome.
"I use suppressants," she reminded him quietly. "But I get how you might be wary about them, especially right now. Still, try not to think about it, da? Just...move a little." She shifted her hips, hissing softly at the jolt that coursed through her, her loins clenching instinctively.
"Oh god," Bucky moans. Maybe Natasha has her own ways of suppressing him because she has a damn good way of shutting him up. He moves a little more, a little harder, and it feels so good that he almost whines. God, he doesn't even remember the last time he did this.
"I just wish...no, that's a stupid thing to want. And I can't have it, so we're not going to talk about it."
Her own whine was audible, and Natasha shifted again when Bucky moved over her, milking his cock and his thick knot without actually thinking about it. She was an Omega; her body knew just what to do to stimulate an Alpha, and God, wasn't it magnificent?
"...okay," she breathed, her fingernails flexing in his shoulders as their lower bodies moved together. Natasha panted softly, already stimulated enough for another climax thanks to his caught knot. "...you feel so good," she breathed, rolling her body beneath his. "...so good, baby...mmmm..."
Again, it's probably just hormones and the fact that they're literally still in the middle of sex but after the shiver of pleasure from moving again settles down into the lower level of arousal he had before, Bucky nuzzles at Natasha's neck and close to her ear.
"Am I good enough that you would let me stay? Instead of you sending me back to them to get locked up again?"
Because US citizen or not, Bucky is pretty sure he's going to be going to jail one way or another, considering what he's done. But if he has a jailor who can control him - that's different.
Natasha was still tingling, glittering all over from the stimulation of Bucky's still-caught knot. He nuzzled at her and she purred, replete but still teasing that line near climax, enjoying the anticipation. Her eyes opened at his question, however, and she paused before immediately answering.
"I wouldn't mind if you stayed, James." And that was the honest answer. "But a lot of it is going to depend on you...if you can handle being free, now."
She put fingers beneath his chin to make him look at her directly. "Can you?"
"I would try my best," Bucky says. He doesn't want to lie to her and he thinks this is the best he can give her right now. "Because...I want to be free. But I also want to be with you."
Maybe that's hormones but he feels settled with Natasha and if he feels settled during rut he thinks he would definitely feel settled when it passes.
"It depends on you, though. I don't know if I could handle smelling other Alphas on you other than like, casual contact. I know you just pick up the scent existing in society and I wouldn't be bothered by that but I couldn't handle smelling someone on you like I smell me on you right now."
Soft fingertips stroked his cheek; Natasha sighed. "Well, that's just it," she told him quietly. "I can't do my job if I have to worry about you erupting into a feral rage every time I get close to a mark that's an Alpha or a Beta. It's part of the work, and I can't help that." It was, and because she was very good at her job, that sort of thing went with it.
"...not that I ever have sex with any of my marks," Natasha amended, her nose wrinkling, "but you get what I'm saying. I have to be able to function without anyone else going off their head in a hormonal blood-rage."
"Well I can't smell a beta," Bucky points out. "But yeah. I can control my anger. Not during a rut, though. I don't think I could smell another Alpha on you during a rut and not get...upset."
And if he has to do that, he has to suppress, and then he's back in prison again even if it's a different kind of prison.
"So you'd want me to suppress my ruts as a condition of staying here, yeah?"
"Ruts...are a different story," Natasha told him. "It'd probably be a better idea to relocate before it starts, that way no one gets hurt or goes to prison." And for her heats, too. Because if he was going to live here, she'd have to wean off of her own suppressants, or it was a moot point.
Then her brow crimped. "Do we have to talk about this now, though? I mean, come on, you're still knotted in me, Barnes." She gave a small huff. "We're supposed to be fucking like rabbits, aren't we?" They were still tied together, in bed, half-naked and filthy.
Bucky sighs. "I can only think when I'm knotted right now. If I'm not, all I can think about is being knotted. Sorry. I talk too fucking much."
It's an extension of the fact that he worries too fucking much but he doesn't want to get used to being free only to get packed up to go back to Stark tower or, worse, an actual prison. He doesn't want to leave. It's nice to have this with an omega and to think about maybe having a life.
Natasha sighed, lifting her eyes and letting her hands flop to the mattress, nonplussed. Fuck. The man hadn't had decent conversation in over seven decades, and now... Damnit.
"This isn't something you should worry about right now," she tried to tell him again. "We'll just have to see what happens once your rut is over. I can't make any promises right now, James, I really can't." Even if she didn't mind him living here with her, it wasn't entirely her decision.
"It's not just my call. But we'll figure something out, okay? Promise you that."
"Yeah, of course. I'll just...focus on right now and do what my body wants me to do."
To that end, he shifts a little but this time he keeps moving his hips and tries to give Natasha enough stimulation that maybe she can come again. It's good for him to be knotted in her and it means he's so much calmer and relaxed now than he was earlier.
Any thought of attaining another climax had evaporated with their conversation, and Natasha bit the inside of her cheek, not wanting to tell him that, too. And further ruin the rest of the day, God. But maybe she could give him another orgasm and then hopefully, a nap, because now that the adrenaline had subsided and the euphoria worn off, she was truly tired. And filthy.
So she put her hands back on his shoulders, and obligingly rocked her hips in perfect counterpoint with his knotted rhythm, and it did feel good, but all of the anticipation had been knocked right out of her. Now, she was nothing more than a plank for him to rut. And that was all right, too.
Yet another example of why she never had relationships. She wasn't any good at them.
Bucky tries for a little bit longer and when it doesn't seem like Natasha doesn't have another orgasm in her, he just rests against her and trails his fingertips against her skin. It feels good to just touch her and seek comfort from her and he doesn't have to talk for that. He'll go down eventually and maybe she can get some rest before the next round.
"I'll go down soon," he says softly. "And then you can get some rest and maybe we can get a shower, yeah? We can share if you'd like that."
And if she wouldn't, that's fine too. Whatever she wants. His Alpha protective side is in overdrive.
After the shower, which they did share, Bucky making sure to get every inch of Natasha absolutely clean, getting dressed - again - and a quick snack, Natasha insisted that they both bunk down in her bed - now with clean sheets - and get as much sleep as they could.
She put the exhausted Alpha in bed, tucked him in, then slipped into the bathroom to brush her teeth and send a quick text before returning to slip in beside him, giving him her back and scooting near so he could cling, if he needed.
"It's okay, James," Natasha said over her shoulder, quiet in the darkness. "You can spoon with me if you want, too. Just...try to relax, and get some sleep, okay? We're safe here. Everything's gonna be okay."
"M'so tired," he admits, taking her offer to curl up against her and wrapping his arm around her waist to pull her up close against his chest. It feels good to hold her, right, and he thinks he could get used to it for more than just this rut.
"Haven' slept in longer than I remember. Days," he admits. The serum helps him stay awake longer than a normal person but he still has to sleep eventually and between rut draining everything in him and being on edge from finally getting away from HYDRA, he just needs the sleep.
When he wakes up, he hasn't moved and neither has Natasha. He nuzzles in against her neck so he can scent her, just seeking the comfort.
To her chagrin, Natasha actually fell asleep before Bucky did, but then, a regular constitution demanded sleep after several hours of rigorous exercise, so that wasn't entirely her fault. She did, however, sleep like a rock, unmoving for the entire night and well into the morning. It was raining, typical New York springtime, and her bedroom was dim and cool.
She came out of deep unconsciousness to a warmth nuzzling at her neck, and the overwhelming scent of Christmas Trees, heady in her nose. A brief semi-conscious reconnoiter recalled where she was and with who and why; Barnes was in bed with her, working through the third day of his Alpha rut. Right.
Beneath the covers, Natasha reached back and invitingly ran a hand over Bucky's hip and thigh, snagging his wrist on the way back to bring his hand to her breast, pressing the heavy mound into his palm. He was nice, warm, and thick behind her, and a little morning foreplay would do his rut a lot of good.
Natasha's chocolate scent is thick in the air too and when she tugs his hand up to cover her breast, he rocks his hips against her ass hard so he can just feel her up against him. He'll need sex in a little while, rut will demand it, but right now he just wants to enjoy this part of it. It feels...domestic, in a way. This is something he'd do with his mate, if he had one.
Bucky licks against her neck and squeezes her breast a little before whispering hot against her ear.
"I'm gonna fuck you so hard later," he murmurs. "Gonna make you all mine all over again."
The thrust against her ass was enough to bring her fully awake, and Natasha had to bite her lips on a wanton moan to feel Bucky's cock, already hard and thick. Against her better judgment, she let herself respond just enough, arching her back to tip her hips in blatant invitation; her shorts were easily removed, as was her thin t-shirt. She'd worn this set specifically, after all.
"You feel good, James," she managed to slur into the dimness. And he sounded a little more in control, if a bit rough. Like an Alpha should. She should really get up and take her medication, but moving was a chore just now, and he needed an Omega's unfiltered scent, anyway.
"Roll over," he says, voice gruff. "Get your ass in the air for me so I can fuck you."
It's rougher than he should be, he thinks, but Bucky thinks that Natasha is aware of how dangerous an Alpha in rut is, especially when there's an unsuppressed Omega right under his nose.
"I already smell you wet for me. You know it's what you want to do."
It was very much a command, given in that harsh, demanding tone. Natasha heard it, felt it, and her Omega wanted desperately to respond to it. But she bit her tongue on that automatic obedience; Barnes was not her Alpha. Nevertheless... He needed to fuck her, and she'd agreed to it.
And if he bit her in the throes of his rut, she was going to shoot him.
She stifled the mild glower she wanted to throw at him, but slowly pushed away the bedspread and languidly clambered to her hands and knees, stretching like the exotic creature that she was. Then she gave Barnes that arch little look over one pale shoulder, and quite pointedly spread her legs, almost daringly so.
The look is coy and it just makes his Alpha hormones get even more thick. What was it she'd said earlier? Like Christmas trees on steroids? Yeah, that's probably accurate. Still, he can do something about it and he does, kneeling behind her and grabbing her hips so he can fuck into her.
He knows his knot will catch quick because it always does during rut but this one time, he wishes it wouldn't so he could enjoy the position and enjoy feeling possessive over something and getting to have it.
"You knew what you were doing, Omega. Fucking tease."
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It's been better with Natasha, though, even in rut because he feels more like himself since he's felt in longer than he can remember. He's starting to remember things, not that he's sharing them, and the confusion he used to feel all the time is starting to be there less and less. Maybe it's rut - you can't think about anything but sex - but maybe it isn't.
"Probably gonna suppress me after this is over. It's what they did before. They just put me on ice every time it happened."
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Her hand still sifted through his hair, thoughtful as they rested together. He was still knotted inside her, so moving wasn't really an option. "Suppressant medication has come a long way," Natasha told him. "And if we can't find any pharmaceuticals here in the States, I'm sure we could in Wakanda. T'Challa and his people are the best scientists in the world. I don't doubt they could come up with something to help you, James."
Either way, they didn't have to puzzle it out now. "Just relax," she advised. "You don't have to worry about it now."
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"I was stuck inside my body and not able to do anything for so long, you know? And the idea of suppressants kind of feels like doing it all over again. Like I'm not safe to be with people because I'm a monster. Maybe that's stupid but I just don't want to do it. I just know I'm going to have to or they'll lock me up every time I have a rut."
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"I use suppressants," she reminded him quietly. "But I get how you might be wary about them, especially right now. Still, try not to think about it, da? Just...move a little." She shifted her hips, hissing softly at the jolt that coursed through her, her loins clenching instinctively.
"Let's make that knot last, malyshka..."
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"I just wish...no, that's a stupid thing to want. And I can't have it, so we're not going to talk about it."
It's hormones anyway.
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"...okay," she breathed, her fingernails flexing in his shoulders as their lower bodies moved together. Natasha panted softly, already stimulated enough for another climax thanks to his caught knot. "...you feel so good," she breathed, rolling her body beneath his. "...so good, baby...mmmm..."
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"Am I good enough that you would let me stay? Instead of you sending me back to them to get locked up again?"
Because US citizen or not, Bucky is pretty sure he's going to be going to jail one way or another, considering what he's done. But if he has a jailor who can control him - that's different.
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"I wouldn't mind if you stayed, James." And that was the honest answer. "But a lot of it is going to depend on you...if you can handle being free, now."
She put fingers beneath his chin to make him look at her directly. "Can you?"
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Maybe that's hormones but he feels settled with Natasha and if he feels settled during rut he thinks he would definitely feel settled when it passes.
"It depends on you, though. I don't know if I could handle smelling other Alphas on you other than like, casual contact. I know you just pick up the scent existing in society and I wouldn't be bothered by that but I couldn't handle smelling someone on you like I smell me on you right now."
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"...not that I ever have sex with any of my marks," Natasha amended, her nose wrinkling, "but you get what I'm saying. I have to be able to function without anyone else going off their head in a hormonal blood-rage."
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And if he has to do that, he has to suppress, and then he's back in prison again even if it's a different kind of prison.
"So you'd want me to suppress my ruts as a condition of staying here, yeah?"
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Then her brow crimped. "Do we have to talk about this now, though? I mean, come on, you're still knotted in me, Barnes." She gave a small huff. "We're supposed to be fucking like rabbits, aren't we?" They were still tied together, in bed, half-naked and filthy.
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It's an extension of the fact that he worries too fucking much but he doesn't want to get used to being free only to get packed up to go back to Stark tower or, worse, an actual prison. He doesn't want to leave. It's nice to have this with an omega and to think about maybe having a life.
"I'll be quiet."
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"This isn't something you should worry about right now," she tried to tell him again. "We'll just have to see what happens once your rut is over. I can't make any promises right now, James, I really can't." Even if she didn't mind him living here with her, it wasn't entirely her decision.
"It's not just my call. But we'll figure something out, okay? Promise you that."
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To that end, he shifts a little but this time he keeps moving his hips and tries to give Natasha enough stimulation that maybe she can come again. It's good for him to be knotted in her and it means he's so much calmer and relaxed now than he was earlier.
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So she put her hands back on his shoulders, and obligingly rocked her hips in perfect counterpoint with his knotted rhythm, and it did feel good, but all of the anticipation had been knocked right out of her. Now, she was nothing more than a plank for him to rut. And that was all right, too.
Yet another example of why she never had relationships. She wasn't any good at them.
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"I'll go down soon," he says softly. "And then you can get some rest and maybe we can get a shower, yeah? We can share if you'd like that."
And if she wouldn't, that's fine too. Whatever she wants. His Alpha protective side is in overdrive.
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She put the exhausted Alpha in bed, tucked him in, then slipped into the bathroom to brush her teeth and send a quick text before returning to slip in beside him, giving him her back and scooting near so he could cling, if he needed.
"It's okay, James," Natasha said over her shoulder, quiet in the darkness. "You can spoon with me if you want, too. Just...try to relax, and get some sleep, okay? We're safe here. Everything's gonna be okay."
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"Haven' slept in longer than I remember. Days," he admits. The serum helps him stay awake longer than a normal person but he still has to sleep eventually and between rut draining everything in him and being on edge from finally getting away from HYDRA, he just needs the sleep.
When he wakes up, he hasn't moved and neither has Natasha. He nuzzles in against her neck so he can scent her, just seeking the comfort.
"Smell so good," he murmurs. "So fucking good."
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She came out of deep unconsciousness to a warmth nuzzling at her neck, and the overwhelming scent of Christmas Trees, heady in her nose. A brief semi-conscious reconnoiter recalled where she was and with who and why; Barnes was in bed with her, working through the third day of his Alpha rut. Right.
Beneath the covers, Natasha reached back and invitingly ran a hand over Bucky's hip and thigh, snagging his wrist on the way back to bring his hand to her breast, pressing the heavy mound into his palm. He was nice, warm, and thick behind her, and a little morning foreplay would do his rut a lot of good.
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Bucky licks against her neck and squeezes her breast a little before whispering hot against her ear.
"I'm gonna fuck you so hard later," he murmurs. "Gonna make you all mine all over again."
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"You feel good, James," she managed to slur into the dimness. And he sounded a little more in control, if a bit rough. Like an Alpha should. She should really get up and take her medication, but moving was a chore just now, and he needed an Omega's unfiltered scent, anyway.
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It's rougher than he should be, he thinks, but Bucky thinks that Natasha is aware of how dangerous an Alpha in rut is, especially when there's an unsuppressed Omega right under his nose.
"I already smell you wet for me. You know it's what you want to do."
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And if he bit her in the throes of his rut, she was going to shoot him.
She stifled the mild glower she wanted to throw at him, but slowly pushed away the bedspread and languidly clambered to her hands and knees, stretching like the exotic creature that she was. Then she gave Barnes that arch little look over one pale shoulder, and quite pointedly spread her legs, almost daringly so.
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He knows his knot will catch quick because it always does during rut but this one time, he wishes it wouldn't so he could enjoy the position and enjoy feeling possessive over something and getting to have it.
"You knew what you were doing, Omega. Fucking tease."
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