ostavil | open post

"Oh." She hadn't thought about that particular nuance yet. "That's...a good point. I'll write a few things down, later when my stomach settles." It wasn't surprising that he had groceries and the like delivered; paparazzi was awful, even up here in Malibu. "I could learn how to cook a few things. I mainly lived on salad and grilled chicken, before."

Even if the thought of food made her even queasier, just now.

"But I've always loved breakfast food. Eggs, bacon, pancakes, that sort of thing. With strawberry syrup and real berries, the absolute best."

Finishing off the tea, and licking her lips when it was gone, Natasha placed the empty mug on the sink and endeavored to get back to her feet. "...o---kay...I think I'm good...for now."

"Uh uh, I'm helping you up," Bucky says, sliding an arm around Natasha so he could get her to her feet. "C'mon, let me carry you back. It'll make me feel like the Disney prince I've always wanted to be." He pairs it with big eyes and he hopes she'll buy it because he'd rather carry her than have her fall because she's not steady yet.

"It'll make me really happy?" he adds, dangling that in front of her. He remembers what she said about groceries and if she likes breakfast food that works out because so does he. "When your stomach comes back, I'll make you a big breakfast."

The offered arm was appreciated, and Natasha leaned on it as she tried to rise, but was finally swayed by the large blue eyes, exaggerated pout, and the mention of a Disney Prince. "All right, all right," she chuckled, swinging an arm around his neck, to be joined by the other as Bucky swept her up in a flare of ivory silk and red curls.

She managed not to squeak at the quick translocation, and wearily leaned her head on his chest as Bucky made his way back to the big bed. "...that sounds nice," she told him, smiling softly. Alex had never cooked for her. Nor carried her anywhere. Or nursed her through any sort of sickness. God, the more she was around Bucky Barnes, the more she realized what an idiot she'd been for putting up with Alex Shostakov for seven freaking years.

Bucky knelt on the edge of the mattress to set her on it, but Natasha didn't immediately let go. She found his gaze, instead, and her eyes were a little earnest.

"Was I wrong, before?" she heard herself blurt out. "To stay with him that long, I mean?" She honestly didn't know.

"I think that's not my place to say," Bucky says quietly. "Because...I'm a biased source. I'm in love with you and the only thing I wanna do is take care of you and make you happy. That kind of puts me at odds with giving you an honest opinion."

Bucky brushes his hand back against her cheek. "What I do think is that it's good that you're away from him because he hurt you and that it's good you're having this kid with me and not with him. I don't think he's the dad type. I might not look it but I want to be a dad so I think that's a big part of it."

Her lashes fluttered at the stroke to her cheek, Bucky's hand warm against her skin. And she sighed. "...you're probably right. Wait-no, you are right. He said over and over that he didn't ever want kids, and that I'd better be sure to stay on the birth control religiously." Natasha snorted, scooting up and into her previous warm nest.

"He even wanted me to get a hysterotomy, at one point, but my doctor wouldn't authorize it, since there was no medical reason why."

And she'd been so silently thankful not to have gone through that nightmare.

Natasha burrowed beneath the covers again, red curls strewn across the pillows. "...come lie down with me?" A soft whisper. "We can go back to sleep, I think. It's still really early..."

"Sure, baby, I'll lay back down with you," Bucky says, sliding back into bed with her and opening his arms. "And like I said, it wouldn't be good for me to tell you whether or not you should have left before you did because I'm in love with you and anything that got you to me faster would be what I wanted. I think you did leave when you needed to."

He wants to seethe over the rest of it but it's not relevant anymore, is it? Alex is gone, Natasha's with him, and there's a baby coming in a few months.

"I'll put in an order for some stuff later," he promises. "We'll have you all set up."

This time, Natasha didn't hesitate, immediately scooting over and sliding right into Bucky's open arms, relishing his thick, solid warmth. She knew her emotions were going to be on a roller coaster from hell for the next few months; her obstetrician had warned her that she might have wild mood swings every now and then. Her arms went around his waist, and her cheek met his chest, resting right over the comforting beat of his heart, and she sighed, once again feeling safe.

Away from that awful, looming shadow.

But she had to point out, though it was in a low, quiet tone, "...you do know, once it's out that we're, well...together, he's going to go absolutely crazy." Biting at her lip, Natasha added, "I honestly don't know what he might do, James. I've never seen him so...manic before. Not like this."

"We'll deal with that as it comes. I have security, remember? He's not getting anywhere close to us."

Bucky wasn't in the habit of walking around with a full security detail all day every day but he thinks in this situation, it kind of warrants it. He doesn't mind footing the bill for his family's safety, besides. Money well spent.

"Besides, I can beat the shit out of him, babe. You've seen me and you've seen him."

His last remark made her chuckle, if only lightly. "Yeah, I have. And I know you can handle yourself, but I don't want to be a bone of contention. Between anyone." She knew that Bucky had round-the-clock security for his house, his parents, and, very discreetly, Steve's place, but being followed by beefy guys in suits every time she went somewhere was enough to make her even more paranoid.

"I know you'll keep me safe," she said beneath his chin. "It just feels, sometimes, like I'm living in exile, afraid to set foot outside of the property gates." Natasha grumbled, a little sour, burrowing deeper. "And I hate that."

"Well, that's not true. You can go anywhere you wanna go - with or without me. I'm not keeping you in a tower."

If that's what she thinks, Bucky wants to correct that very quickly. Just because he's a celebrity doesn't mean he doesn't have a life and that extends to Natasha as well. She should have a life and friends and do things away from the house as much as she desires to.

"Though right now, I think you need to stay in bed. Dr. Bucky says."

"No, I know," she told him, glancing up briefly. "I know you aren't. I just...it feels like the only place he can't get to me is here." The asshole had permeated her office, souring the quiet zen of the building that she'd worked so hard to establish. "I mean, I did file that restraining order, but I know better than most just how easy it is to get around one. And he's a serving soldier - that grants him a lot of leeway when it comes to local authority."

Natasha sighed again, disconsolate. "I could notify his commanding officer, tell him what a jerk Alex is being, but given that what I know of the man, he's just like the officers under his command, that would probably just amuse him more than anything else. A little civilian can't take a few jokes." She huffed a snort, sounding like an irritated dragon.

"I just want him to go away," she groused, wincing as her stomach protested her upset. Natasha forced herself to settle, nuzzling beneath Bucky's chin and inhaling the clean scent of his skin. "But you're right," she murmured, "...staying in bed is the best idea right now..."

"And since he's a soldier, I can call up the MPs any time I damn well please and if he's doing shit he shouldn't be doing, they can write him up from Cali to New York. Trust me. I was in the Army, I know how that shit works. Guys were one day late on their child support because they were in Afghanistan and the MPs rolled up to throw them in jail. It's not something I'd do for the hell of it but it's something he's got to worry about."

He'd get out of it, sure, but it'd be annoying as fuck in the meantime.

"But bed isn't the place to talk about all that. You go right on back to sleep, all right?"

She hadn't considered that. "Oh," was all she said, speculative for a moment. "I didn't know you could do that."

Still, Bucky was right; it was time to try and go back to sleep. Her nights before this had been restless, as her body was still adjusting to being pregnant, and comfort had been sparse. But now, lying in the arms of her child's father, rest was surprisingly nearby. Her sigh this time was one of release, letting go of her nerves and her tension, trying to drift back into slumber while cradled in strong arms.

"...will you sing for me?" A whispered request, given as her small hands slowly drifted up and down his back, delicate fingertips tracing the lines of corded muscle beneath warm skin.

"Sing? Absolutely," Bucky says, kissing the crown of her head before singing soft and low, choosing one of the ballads off the new album instead of the normal fare. He figures that will be a hell of a lot more relaxing than listening to him belt out something that's supposed to have electric guitar and drums under it anyway.

"I've got you," he murmurs between lines. "Just go to sleep and don't worry about a thing."

Listening to his wonderful voice soothed her all the way down, and it was only a few minutes more before Natasha drifted right off to sleep, her nose pressed tight against Bucky's throat. She apparently needed the uninterrupted sleep, because it was several hours later before she stirred, grumbling lightly at the glare of California sunshine that seemed determined to penetrate her closed eyes.

She was still nice and warm, so it was probable that her bedmate was close by, and Natasha petulantly pulled the thick comforter over her head, burrowing into the pillows.

"...ugh...what time izzit?"

"Eh, 1:30, give or take a few. You needed the sleep," Bucky says, grinning at Natasha. "And I couldn't give up my role as pillow so I just laid here until you decided to wake up. It wasn't a bad few hours, gotta say. We should do it more often."

He kisses the top of her head and tries to meet her eyes. "You want me to make you something to eat? I happen to have many abilities and cooking is among them."

Natasha blinked. One-thirty? Dear God, she'd never slept that late! Not even when she'd been miserable with the stomach flu and had been running a hundred and one fever! But apparently she had needed to sleep today, because her stomach was quiet, nothing hurt and she felt surprisingly rested for the first time in weeks.

Hearing that Bucky had stayed in bed to be her pillow brought a soft flush to pale cheeks, and Natasha came out from under the duvet to give him a shy smile, followed by a gentle kiss to his scruffy cheek. "Thank you," she whispered, pausing to give his nose a brief nuzzle with hers.

"Food actually sounds...wonderful. I believe you promised me eggs and pancakes, Bucky Barnes?"

"I sure did. You stay right where you are and I'll make everything and bring it back up to you," Bucky says. He's happy to get out of bed and go make Natasha pancakes if that's what makes her happy and it makes him happy to see her happy so if it's the tiniest bit selfish, well, he'll be selfish.

It takes a little while to get everything cooked and then it takes him a little while longer to find the trays to bring shit up on but he does and luckily his trays are big enough to hold food enough for two people on them.

"See? I'm full service."

She had to laugh, seeing her intended make his way into the bedroom with a heavily laden service tray, holding enough food to feed at least a regiment. While he'd been downstairs, Natasha had slid out of bed, brushed her teeth and washed her face, and arranged her thick curls into a single braid over her left shoulder before climbing back in bed to doze and wait.

"You certainly are," she agreed, smoothing the comforter so he could set down his heavy burden. The pancakes smelled wonderful, and it lightened her heart to see a small bowl of plump red strawberries next to the syrup. And another steaming mug of tea next to his coffee.

"Thank you, James." Natasha smiled, a true smile this time, her eyes warm as they met his. "This is so sweet of you." Reaching for his hand, she leaned over and tugged him to her for a soft, chaste kiss, gentle as to not disrupt their breakfast. "It looks and smells delicious."

Bucky feels a lot of things when Natasha reaches for his hand - shy, proud, excited. He tries to push them down and focus on making sure she has everything she wants, though, because it's not about him right now. Right now, it's about making it a safe place for her and the baby and she has genuine reason to worry, considering Alex.

"Nah, it wasn't a big deal. Now, if you had me go out and get the elephant it might have been a big deal but this? This was nothing."

Maybe he's spoiling her a little too much but isn't that better than not seeing to her needs? Bucky thinks so. He looks over the tray to try and see if anything's missing. He doesn't think so.

"Anything else I need to go find and put on here? I'm good for it."

Natasha shook her head, already reaching for the mug of hot tea. "No, everything looks good. I can't wait to dive in." And after a few hearty sips of tea, she did so, picking up a plate of pancakes and covering them in syrup. It probably wasn't the wisest thing to do; eat pancakes on these immaculate sheets, but she was careful not to spill a drop.

The sweet, tart strawberries tasted wonderful next to the flavorful pancakes, and Natasha ate heartily, truly hungry for what seemed the first time in weeks. She was on her fourth slice of bacon when she realized how much of a glutton she seemed, and a light flush crept over her cheeks, abashed.

"Mmm, sorry. I was really hungry, apparently. But you're a great chef, so, compliments?"

"Taken," Bucky says, grinning. "We still got food in the fridge down there if you want me to make you some more. Can't let you go hungry in my house, it'd be a fucking tragedy."

Bucky's just glad she's eating because he knows his sisters had a lot of trouble with it at first because of the morning sickness.

"Anything you want, you get. I mean it. Go look through the fridge down there and if there's anything missing, you write it down and it goes in the grocery order."

"I'll make a grocery list," Natasha promised, taking another sip of still-hot tea. "I don't really know how to cook much, but I do like fresh fruit and salads. And I'll put anything in a salad. Almonds, tuna, pineapples, grapes, you name it."

She supposed since she was now living here permanently, she might as well settle in, even if the house did still feel to her like a very lavish hotel. And it really didn't make much sense to be staying in one of the spare bedrooms, either, considering upcoming events. Natasha supposed she was going to have to put a brave face on, and come to terms with this new life.

"Milk," she murmured, an afterthought. "I always try to drink a large glass of milk before bed." She plucked at the bedspread, a little abashed. "...seems to help me sleep, sometimes."

"Yeah sure, we can get all that stuff. You can have whatever you want," Bucky assures her. "I know you're not used to asking or used to having but you don't have to worry about that with me, okay? You ask for whatever you want and if I can get it, I'll get it."

Bucky wants to make it clear he's nothing like Alex and he knows there's a lot of ways he has to do that. It isn't just about sex or affection - it's little things like thinking of her when getting the groceries or asking her opinion on the color of the bedroom. Choices. She should get choices.

"I gotta get you put on the bank account and stuff but that can wait a little bit. I'll just give you my card if you need something."

No, Bucky Barnes was nothing at all like Alex Shostakov. A fact she was coming to believe more and more. Alex would have thrown a fit if she'd told him she was pregnant, and immediately turned around with seven ideas of how to get rid of it. He'd made it perfectly clear during their first year together that he never wanted children, and had cautioned Natasha to stay on the birth control, even if doing so sometimes made her feel horrible.

Bucky had been nothing but excited, nearly shouting his happiness from the rooftops, that he was going to be a father, and about time, too. (That had come from his grinning father, more than delighted to have another grandchild to spoil.) And Bucky had also been adamant to take care of her, and even marry her, surprisingly. Everything any woman could ever dream of.

A husband. A home. A family.

That thought floating across the front of her mind, Natasha quite abruptly put down her empty plate, then shifted about enough that she could scoot across the bed and right into her fiancé's lap. A finger pressed to his lips - to keep him from talking - and she shook her head slightly, saying in a low whisper, "...don't say anything. Just let me..." Her lashes lowered; she rested her forehead to his.

"...thank you, James. For taking care of me. --don't talk," she reiterated, keeping her finger pressed to his lips. "Just...accept it. Please." He tended to babble at every corner, she'd learned.

And rather than remove her fingers for him to do just that, Natasha instead lowered her hand only to replace it with her lips, pressed light and sweet against his.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject