ostavil | open post

Men can let things slip when they're fucking someone, same as women, and Bucky knows better than to do that right now. He fucking knows better but here he is, pouring his heart out because he's right where he's wanted to be for five years. He crushes his mouth against Natalia's, not wanting to expose himself any longer, and slides his hands under her thighs to hike her up so he can fuck her harder than before.

Maybe if he just lets his emotions out on the pillows instead of telling them, he won't expose himself and betray all his weaknesses. He wants to believe Natalia is good - why else would she invoke his protection, use her real name, tell her that he's her only - but he has to keep himself safe, too.

Women can be venomous, he knows that well. He doesn't think Natalia is looking to sting him but he knows that she's a spy same as he. You never shed the dissembling, the layers lies that bury the truth, the pretending to be any and everything that's anathema to what you truly are. Does he even know what he is anymore? Does it matter? Not much right now, not when he's deep in her and he can't form words.

It seemed coherence had finally evaporated altogether, and that was fine with Natalia, because James had his hands beneath her and had arched her just right to slam in and out of her with all the force of a piston; he'd never been so rough with her, prior to this. But it was a relished ache, the stretch of her muscles and the pressure of his hands; she craved it.

She didn't want to let him out of her grasp, and clutched tight to keep him right where he was: covering her, buried between her spread thighs, and thrusting like a demon possessed. She'd never experienced love, but she definitely knew lust, and there was no denying that that was absolutely what this was. Hunger. Longing. Ache. She knew all of them, very, very well, indeed.

Truly, she hadn't expected this when she'd invoked his name and protection. Hoped, yes, but expected, no. Because they really the same people anymore; they were real now, and reality shed a completely different light on everything. But the flame between them didn't seem to care about paltry identities; the heart knew what it wanted, and hers insisted that this was exactly it.

So she held him close, wrapped around him like a knot, and held on as he just fucked her wild, breathing her willing encouragement directly into his ear, huskily begging for more.

It is different with real names. Bucky keeps going until he's spent, coming white hot and pressing into her hard one last time before slumping against her and laying his head in the crook of her shoulder and neck. He's sweaty and exhausted and all the things that come with sex but it doesn't feel like sex. It feels more like magnets pulling together again, a key fitting in a lock. He hadn't realized a part of him was missing until she was gone.

He kisses her skin, tasting the salt, and he cages her in with his arms to keep her under him. She hasn't come yet (or enough, anyway) so he's going to deal with that in a moment. He just needs the closeness right now.

"I missed you," he murmurs. "I'll take care of you in a minute but I missed you so much."

She wasn't too surprised when she suddenly felt James tense, stiffen, then erupt inside her like an active volcano; it was somewhat amazing that he'd managed to last this long, if she was any judge. But Natalia held him through it, digging her fingernails into his back like talons, and her thighs squeezed tight, a dangerous weapon all on their own.

She never minded him collapsing on her afterwards, either. His weight was a welcome shield against the rest of the miserable world, hiding her safe from any and all machinations waiting to ruin even more of their lives. Holding him close, Natalia ran gentle hands through his sweaty hair, still shivering with the aftershocks of his pleasure, and giving soft little whimpers each time he shifted inside of her, a welcome tease.

"I know," she whispered back, turning her head to press her lips to his temple. "...I missed you, too." The redhead bit her lip on a stifled sob. "--so much, James. God, so much."

"Sorry I just...I don't usually come that fast, it's just been so long since I've been with you."

It's been a while since he's been with a woman period but Natalia is different than any woman he's ever been with. She's beautiful, talented, deadly, burns hotter than anyone - there's no one for him but her. There's no one that makes him feel this way. He doesn't know what it means or if they should even be together (He's supposed to be protecting her for God's sake, not fucking her) but he knows he won't be able to resist her again.

He should be protecting her and not doing dangerous shit like this. He doesn't pull away, though, and nuzzles a little more at her neck and kisses a line up behind her ear.

"Gonna make you come so many times for me," he says lowly. "You'll be screaming."

The sheepishness in his tone tickled her mirth and Natalia laughed softly, still petting and stroking. "I know," she said again, shifting a little beneath him. "It's all right." She'd been celibate herself for five agonizing years, and from the moment he'd walked into that conference room four hours ago, she'd been dying to have him back between her legs again. It'd hurt, seeing him again after so long apart, but she knew she was where she belonged now, no matter what the future held.

He was hers. She was his. That had been true since the moment they'd met, over a decade ago. He'd been the only man to arrest her attention, to meet her on her own ground and not be afraid, to burn just as hot as she in their delicate, devilish dance of death. This was inevitable, really.

She shivered when those smooth, warm lips began sliding up her throat, coming to purr just beneath her ear, and it was all she could do to swallow a whorish moan, already rubbing her body beneath his, wanting to just cover her skin in his scent. Like a feline in heat.

"...do you promise?" she asked archly, gliding a smooth bare thigh up along his ribcage, clever toes trailing over the back of one muscled thigh. "--I want to scream for you, malyshka...you know that I do..."

"Don't trust me, little spy? I'll show you screaming. I'll make you scream until your lungs give out and then when you get your voice back you'll beg me for more."

He nips at her earlobe with his teeth before sliding off her and off the end of the bed. He hauls her down to the edge of it and spreads her thighs wide before tipping his head down and sucking a dark mark against her left thigh, teeth marking territory. It'd been too dangerous to do this before - at least to this extent - because they'd had covers to maintain. Not any longer.

"You know how good you smell, marked up like mine?" She's still a mess but he doesn't care and drags two fingers against skin slick from both of them. He keeps rubbing against her while he speaks. "Never fucked you without a condom before, you know. Wanted to. Needed to now."

She'd always trusted him. Unwisely, perhaps, but it wasn't something she could just turn off because it wasn't the smartest thing. The heart wanted what it wanted, after all. But she could never just come right out and tell him that she did, either. Protocol still held in that regard, at least.

Nevertheless, Natalia had little doubt that he'd leave her used and aching by the time they were both spent, and she couldn't help a deep shiver of sheer anticipation when James slid away and hauled her down to the very edge of his large bed. She didn't protest; she simply went where he wanted, gazing down at him with green eyes banked with a thick layer of lust.

Her hips bucked when his teeth scraped her tender inner thigh, but they parted further for him, offering her body for his pleasure. The salacious touch of his fingers had her back arching, and the filth from his mouth shortened her breath, had her head tossing lightly.

"D-Doesn't matter," she managed to pant softly. "D-Don't need o-one." She was a Black Widow; conception had never been a problem she had to worry about.

"Mmmhmm," Bucky says, rolling his thumb over her clit before sliding his fingers into her. Two for now, lazily moving in and out while he talks. He'd thought about going down on her but that means he can't talk and he likes being filthy with her. He likes it when she can't respond anymore.

"Tell me about what you want right now, pretty spider," He says, keeping his fingers slow and teasing, nothing really satisfying yet. He'll give her what she needs eventually, yes, but he wants to play right now and he's going to play.

"I'll give you what you want but only if you ask me for it. I've never had Natalia ask me for something, only Alexia or Illyana or Sasha. I want you to ask."

Green eyes narrowed, glowering down at him. Bastard. But then, this was a side of James Barnes - not Jean-Marc or Vassily or Dmitri - she'd never really seen before. Thick fingers slid between slick folds and she whimpered, squirming on the rumple bedspread but biting her lip to keep from moaning aloud.

Her body tightened around those probing fingers, squeezing and fluttering eagerly, and Natalia gripped the covers in strong hands, tugging on the sheets beneath her. "--fuck me," she suddenly begged, rolling her hips against his hands. "Pozhaluysta, malyshka...I need you to fuck me so bad--oh-James.."

"Oh no. Not this time," Bucky says, grinning at her. He intends to do it this way for now, especially since he'd come so quickly the first time. He speeds up his thumb against her clit and works in a third finger, trying to give her the fullness she's craving. He crooks them a bit, trying to find the spot he'd hit with his cock and keeps the rhythm steady.

"I want to see your cunt while you're coming for me," he murmurs. "I want to see you desperate and thrashing and begging for what you want and not getting it. I want to see you lose your mind for me. Not my aliases. For me. I want my name on your lips. I want you knowing it's me."

"Asshole," she snarled at him again. But the insertion of that third finger had her bowing up off of the bed, full lower lip caught between her teeth to keep from screaming right out loud. Her hips stuttered, trying to milk those devilish fingers as hard as she could, and Natalia whimpered, unable to help making some sort of noise.

Her hands yanked on the sheets, needing to thrash lest she lose her mind, and she moved them to her breasts, squeezing the heavy flesh to ground herself with the sharp pain, nipples tight, hard, and dark. "--James!" she managed to gasp, digging her head back into the mattress.

She tugged on her nipples again, back arching like a rainbow, her knees bent to shove her hips upwards towards his teasing hands and wicked mouth, wanting him buried all the way between her legs. More than willing to beg by now, Natalia whined and panted, shivering with the impending climax threatening to crash right over her.

He's not giving up now, not when she's begging him like this, and he moves his thumb faster and doesn't let up with his fingers to get her to come all over his goddamned hand. He might have gone off like a firecracker but it doesn't mean it can't still be good for her this time around. He'll get her back next time, too, and the next.

Bucky slides his hand up to cup one of her breasts, squeezing it and rolling his fingers against her nipple the same way that she'd been doing herself. He might be a little rusty but he think he knows what's good for Natalia, what makes her tick, and he'll be damned if he lets her down.

All of the stimulation was just too much, and Natalia suddenly stiffened, then shuddered and fell completely apart, lithe hips bucking and surging up off of his bed. She clenched hard around those invading fingers, milking them eagerly, unable to help fluttering all around the thick digits.

Teeth dug into her lower lip and she mewled, moaning his name in her broken alto, her own strong fingers wrapping around Bucky's wrist and pressing his hand harder against her full, aching breast. She begged for him in guttural Russian, long red hair flailing across his pillows as she tossed her head with the sheer power of her climax.

"Still think I'm an asshole?" Bucky asks, taking his fingers and sucking them clean right in front of her. He still thinks he'll bury his face in her cunt before the night's out but for right now, he's enjoying the view he's got with Natalia's hair strewn across his pillows and her face settled in complete pleasure.

"Or did you decide I was all right after I got you off? Because I have more where that comes from, you know. Good at that," he murmurs. "Real damn good at that."

He has always liked to see her like this, completely wrecked by him, and there's something even more erotic about seeing it in his bed and with their true identities.

"Yes," she sassed right back without turning her head or opening her eyes. "Shut up." But her entire body was still tingling nicely, coming down from that glorious high she'd just experienced. And Christ, hadn't they been scarce? Hearing his further commentary, his ego talking, Natalia couldn't help but smirk in dry amusement, finally lolling her head around to peer down at her smirking lover, and she flopped a lazy hand.

"You're...passable," the redhead remarked almost casually, but a naughty glint lurked deep in green eyes. "I'd have to try you out a few more times to really be impressed, Dzheyms." Natalia then stretched, reaching her arms high above her head and arched her back, wiggling her hips a little wickedly.

"So...what are you waiting for?"

Well, with that kind of invitation he can't really say no so Bucky climbs up on the bed and lays alongside her at first, grinning wide, and then rolls over to cover her and give her what she wants. He's already come earlier so it won't be so fast this time (he hopes, anyway, because that's embarrassing) and he slides in slow and deep, hiking her legs up to wrap around his hips.

He knows he's fucking heavy; last he clocked in at 230, but right now he really doesn't care. He can't get his hands in her hair from this angle so he just plants his alongside her head, using his arms as leverage as he nearly pulls out and slides back in. If her earlier impertinence was any sign, he knows this is probably driving her crazy and she just wants it fast and hard but it's not how he wants it.

"This what you want, doll? Or do you want something else?"

She was still glittering all over, but she didn't protest in the slightest when her devilish lover crawled over on her again. Natalia instead wound her arms around his shoulders and lifted her knees to hold him close, hissing a sharp breath when he entered her again, stretching her wide and filling her completely.

Seldom had they ever taken things slow or easy, and she'd always loved their rough coupling, reveling in their wildness together, but this was something completely different; the slow yet determined ascent to pleasure, James' deliberate rhythm as he rode her in that steady ebb and thrust, guaranteed to short her mind completely out.

"...Dzheyms," Natalia couldn't help but moan, meeting him at the end of every deep, long roll, her arms wound around his torso and her legs locked behind his thighs, clenching him tight every time he sank back into her. He was a little heavy, but she didn't care; there was nowhere else on the entire planet she'd rather be.

"Natalia," he breathes back, keeping his pace slow but deep. The first time had been too quick to enjoy it but this time, he has more control and can really ride it out. He takes his time kissing her too, lips sliding along her jaw to her ear.

"I dreamed about fucking you for years," he murmurs, teeth catching her earlobe lightly. "Only you. Every time I touched myself, I was thinking about you fucking me. Wanted you over and over like that bed in Budapest. Wanted you in the shower like Paris. Wanted you in this goddamn bed that you couldn't know about because it'd blow my cover."

He pulls out almost all the way before saying, "Glad you came back to me." And he pushes back in, slow and slick and full.

He was going to kill her. Not with a gun, or a blade, but with this. Natalia dug her fingernails into thick muscle, feeling it give beneath her hands, and the arch of his back in response was thrilling. The words murmured at her ear drifted straight down to her loins, making her tighten that much more around him, and she whimpered softly in reply, barely able to form words at all.

"--had to," she managed to pant softly. "--y-you're mine. And I'm--yours." She arched up beneath him, full breasts pressing against his hard, familiar chest, and the tactile stimulation sent a bolt of heat shooting through her very core. Small, strong hands drifted upwards to tangle in Bucky's long hair, pulling his mouth to hers for a deep, heated kiss.

"...only ever been you," she swore, breathing his breath as they parted slightly. "...no one else." Natalia nipped sharply at his throat, swearing all over again, "You have no idea how much I need you, James..."

The idea that he's been the only one over all these years is thrilling to him in a way he can't really describe. It makes him push into her more desperately, deeper, and determined than he might have before. If he's the only man she's ever had, she deserves to have him.

"I'm gonna fuck you, then," Bucky pants at her ear. "And push into you over and over until you can't tell where I end and you begin. I'm gonna make you see stars and scream before I let you come this time."

He means to make good on his threat, too, having already gotten the first orgasm behind him.

Oh my God, she hoped so. Natalia turned her head to bite at his own earlobe, even as he panted his filth beneath hers. Her fingernails dug into James's back, leaving harsh red wells in his thick skin. But she tightened around him like a noose, barely managing to let him have enough leeway to thrust into her over and over, the mattress beneath them protesting such rough abuse.

But the redhead splayed across it begged for more, calling for her beautiful lover in a score of languages, each one more slurred than the last as he drove into her harder and faster. She dimly realized she was being jolted further across the bed with every primal slam of his hips into hers, but she couldn't care.

Because he was magnificent in her arms; powerful, bestial, and absolutely all hers, and, as promised, the universe suddenly exploded behind her eyes as she stiffened then shrieked, clamping down around his thrusting cock like a white-hot vise, clawing her marks into his shoulders and down his back.

He'd always been so careful before about marks, making sure he took his time getting home so they'd be healed up before Dot ever saw them. He didn't know if she suspected he had someone else or not but he didn't think it was good to just blatantly show it. He doesn't fucking care now, though, and when Natalia drags her nails down his back as she comes, it stirs something in him he didn't know was there.

Bucky pushes her harder, punishing the years between them with his body, and while she's falling apart around him he's using her hard. He knows he'll be tender later as that's his nature but goddamn he'd missed her and he wants it like this right now.

He bites at the join of her neck and shoulder as he comes, hips and thighs pinning her brutally to the bed, and he licks a slow line up to her ear in the aftermath, whispering:

"YA zhivu tol'ko dlya tebya, pauchok." I only live for you, little spider.

The sensory overload for Natalia was just too damned much. All of it, coupled with her James's hot voice beneath her ear, growling his fevered promise, sent her reeling all over again, and she stiffened still further in his arms, becoming dangerously lightheaded as his explosive climax triggered yet another in her.

She couldn't see, she couldn't even breathe; all she could do was hold on as she quaked, finally gaining enough coherence to inhale a sharp, deep breath, near to sobbing out her explosive pleasure. This was insanity - but hadn't it always lurked right beneath their surface? Passion had never been a problem, not between them, and the smoldering volcano had always been simmering right beneath each of their contrived identities.

It was several breathless minutes before she finally had enough air and coherence to speak, and her words came out as a soft, low whisper. "YA lyublyu tebya, Dzheyms. U menya vsegda yest'." I love you, James. I always have.

Bucky lays on her after he comes, surprised at her second orgasm, and buries his face in her neck. She tastes so good to him and feels like heaven; how is he supposed to do his job when Natalia is around him and he's breathing her in all the goddamn time? How is he supposed to function and write reports like she's some other witness?

He rolls his body against her, still half hard inside her. "Nobody ever feels...nothing ever feels as good as you. Nobody else will ever have a chance. Only you forever now. You're finally mine to keep."

They're words he used to say as nonsense but now he can mean them for true. He's always wanted to say them to her, even before he divorced.

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