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[ostavil]

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[ostavil]

point right, okay, sweat, eggplant, peach, angry...

you're angry about working on a farm and sweating?

[evite]

would it help if i gave you some lyrical inspiration?

[ does she send him an mp3 of bad touch? maybe she does ]

[ostavil]

( What the actual hell is this? )

1) Sam did not include this song in my modern education so I don't think it's relevant. 2) I know what sex is. I haven't been a virgin since 1934. 3) Why are you angry about me fucking you?

[evite]

[ whatever, boomer, it's a jam. ]

it's extremely relevant. hashbrowns after rough sex is an american institution.

[ no... ]

i didn't say i was angry? you really need to get better at puzzles.

[ostavil]

( Oh! The angry means rough? Maybe? )

The angry means rough? I don't understand you women. I always liked it romantic.

[evite]

do i need to get you an emoji translator, grandpa?

[ daddy kink question mark ]

[ostavil]

I need a Daisy translator. Do you have one of those lying around?

[evite]

i do, it's between my legs

[ wink wonk ]

[ostavil]

Would you even be interested once you conquered Mt. Barnes? You seem like a girl who likes the thrill of the chase. I admit, it's pretty appealing. I chased skirts in my day.

[evite]

that's a weird self-burn, bucky. are you saying you're only worth sleeping with once?

[ostavil]

what? NO! I SISNT SAY THAT! IM GOOE AT SEX

[evite]

what else are you good at?

[ not typing. ]

[ostavil]

я говорю на семи языках. Хуй тебе!

( He speaks seven languages. Honestly. )

[evite]

Вы можете, если вы спросите приятно

[ the first russian she dated only taught her the dirty words. ]

[ostavil]

Call me and ask me out, then.

[evite]

i'm in the middle of a stakeout, bucky, now is not the time for a chat

[ostavil]

But plenty of time to torture me about sex? Got it.

Who are you staking out?

[evite]

it's a big gun. a girl has to entertain herself somehow.

[ be flattered that it made her think of him, okay. ]

some new age hydra fuckhead. rumor is he's selling accords lists to the highest bidder.

[ostavil]

( Flattered is definitely a word. )

Need any help? I love putting my fist in the face of HYDRA.

[evite]

i think i can handle the sniper rifle, but i won't turn down company if you're bored.
i'm sure we can find something to do.

[ostavil]

I was a sniper, you know. I like to think I was good.

[evite]

you can't come hang out if you're going to try and take the rifle from me. don't mansplain how to shoot.

[ostavil]

mansplain? does that mean a man who explains things?

[evite]

i think there's technically a little emphasis on over-explaining things that the woman in the scenario already knows, but basically, yes

[ostavil]

I've been alive since 1917, sometimes there's stuff I know.

( Let's take missing the point for 500, Alex. )